I wanna be the clean girl
the girl that's surrounded by quiet and peace
but my head feels to much of a storm to be like that
the words that leave my mouth are too sloppy to ever be clean
I may not look like a mess but my head feels like one
One I can never escape
and one I don't want to loose
Nov 6, 2025
Nov 6, 2025 at 7:17 AM UTC
I was never somebody you wanted.
I saw it in the way you looked at me after looking at her.
After laughing with your friends and getting mute as soon as I entered the room.
I thought I was everything to you, at least that's what you told me.
It's 3 am & my body is covered in goosebumps.
I always thought it longed for your warmth, realizing you were the one who made me cold.
Nov 6, 2025
Nov 6, 2025 at 7:16 AM UTC
and as he grabs my throat I realize that I'm just a body.
a toy he gets to play with,
until he's bored enough to throw me away.
he leaves the room and I lay there,
my cries sound like all the expectations I had of love.
the lump in my throat feels like a glass shard I can't bring myself to swallow.
I just wanted to be loved, just once.
but I guess the love that I desire doesn't exist.
so hurt me as hard as you can,
maybe I can find a piece of love in your violence
Nov 6, 2025
Nov 6, 2025 at 7:16 AM UTC
My life did end when I was 21
The city which was supposed to heal my heart turned into a life lesson
disguised as beautiful old buildings, people with warm hands and cold hearts, wine & nights that never seemed to end
I wasn't able to heal, because every step on those streets felt like the nights being left alone, friends talking behind your back and people not caring
But especially it felt like you
Like the first time you kissed me
And then left me
Your abandonment felt like a cold hug
So cruel yet I felt the need to stay
To chase ,to feel you
Yet you were never there to begin with
Nov 6, 2025
Nov 6, 2025 at 4:13 AM UTC
It is invisible but always there.
It grows in you and eats on you.
Someday its so big ,
You feel it crawl over every inch of your skin.
It wants to see you fall.
It wants you.
It follows you.
It uses you.
It wants to make your life a living hell.
But you do not see.
That you already are your fear.
Aug 13, 2021
Aug 13, 2021 at 2:09 PM UTC