I hate my body
I can run a marathon
I can lift weights
I can climb
I can hike
I am strong
I hate my body
I will never look like Her
She has no rolls
She fits into everything
She is confident
She is hot
She is perfection
I will never look like Her
Will I hate my body forever
The body that loves me
The body that sacrifices for me
Does it know I hate it
I’m sorry if it knows
I don’t know how to love myself
I never have
And I don’t feel like learning.
Apr 22, 2023
Apr 22, 2023 at 9:51 PM UTC
nestled in my heart
i haven’t seen her in a long time
years
hidden there
relaxed and cozy or chained up?
for over three years my feelings were dull
now they are back , she is back
she is convincing me he is gone
its one week i tell her
it’s normal. no big deal
to her though,
now that she is free
now that she can tell me how to feel
this week is a forever
i think i ache not because of one week apart from the person i love
but because she’s finally out
and is using this to feel
i am too happy for her
i shut her in for too long
so for this one week
she wants me to feel
that ill never be full
wishing for wholeness
Apr 22, 2023
Apr 22, 2023 at 9:45 PM UTC
at first it’s a crawl
ever so slightly moving
a small but calculated movement
then a sudden Leap
as a cat Leaps on a bird
a poor, unsuspecting bird
looking for twigs
for her nest
is the Leap inevitable
sometimes i think so
but other times i still try to outsmart that **** cat
Nov 30, 2020
Nov 30, 2020 at 11:46 PM UTC
When I see you
My heart explodes
A shot of serotonin
Pure happiness
And just like that
One small hiccup
And a different type of bomb lights
Fighting begins
I am suddenly lesser than you
Small
Empty
Not Enough
It came quickly but now it’s over
We are cheerful, happy
But then it happens again
And again
And yet again
****
Jun 10, 2020
Jun 10, 2020 at 12:50 AM UTC
A silver lining for your entire life
A cocoon sheltered from burdens
Routine, happiness, health
No worries at all - wealth
And what if they told you
This bubble will never pop
Unless broken by the entrapped
Do you live as is
Confined, but fine
Or choose a different path
Stay in forever
Work, play, marry love
Run away
Travel, impact, change
Do I break out
Shout
Am I free?
Do I want to be?
I feel trapped right now
Apr 22, 2020
Apr 22, 2020 at 12:46 AM UTC
I fear uncertainty
But I fear certainty too
The unknown is a deep abyss
Each step leads to darkness
The known is a cyclical way to exist
Stuck, never achieving more or less
I fear being trapped
But I fear I already am
Apr 3, 2020
Apr 3, 2020 at 12:41 AM UTC
My own two thumbs
Though I reach high
They ground me
They are mine
Two little hearts
On the tips of my fingers
Forever in the spotlight
Forever feeling
Eager to grab hold
Quick to recoil
In love
In fear
Two little thumbs
Alone they are small
But together they feel the world
But together they are me
Mar 31, 2020
Mar 31, 2020 at 12:38 AM UTC
It starts at my toes
And crawls up to my heels
It lingers
As a warning
And then slowly climbs the rest of my body
Inch by inch
Until a shiver engulfs me
Into a cold but comforting hug
Brisk night air
A river rushing in the distance
Beauty in the darkness
Open
Inviting
Absolutely whole.
Mar 25, 2020
Mar 25, 2020 at 12:32 AM UTC
Quiet envelopes all sound
A place once lively
Full of light
Now dark
Empty
Not in a bad way
The dark can be calming
Inviting
A light breeze
Happy trees
Smiling at grateful gazers
What was empty
Is an emptiness that can be filled in a second
But lingers on for months
Like the cool breeze on a spring night
Warming but chilling
And while gazing up
Up at the blossoms, up through the trees
Worry - empathy - a sense of calm
The lookers whisper on below
Eventually
All
Will
Reach
Balance
Mar 19, 2020
Mar 19, 2020 at 1:24 AM UTC