i love you this morning
it's a come home safe morning
fog on the road
& no seatbelt kind of morning
the sun is over easy
& nothing's on fire
there's punctuation
where i don't want it
and extra love
in the glovebox of my car
been thinking about being honest
how these poems are all me
but they tell the story
how someone else
might believe it happened
within reasonable doubt
no copy & pasted love letters
no 'who ever says hello first gets my attention for the day'
try a little tenderness
in my ears and today
there are instruments
in the back of my head
i think you love me
because i'm sunburned
felt it in a 'come hell or high water' kinda way, that 'touched from far away' kinda way that 'if i touch this piano one more time one of us is going to break' kinda way
and i drove over 17 bridges yesterday and today i'll do it again
and i think nobody gets
what that means except maybe you
i just tell them i love the scenery
that somebody must've made
these trees blush just for me
you know how i love
to change the subject
i bet they'd love the view
i bet you would too
and all these metaphors
for other things are beside the point
this is a metaphor
for why i don't wear my seatbelt
a metaphor for why whiskey
knows me better than you
could ever try to
all the buildings seemed to sag yesterday and all the stars
are doing that cliche thing
where they talk
quiet jet noise
& some lumbering giant
made everything shake
not those hand metaphors
not another one of those
& keep the sea to yourself
i think it was a train
it's sound hugged the embankment
for a moment
and then trailed off into nowhere
and that's kind of like me
how there's a town called 'rescue'
close to my home &
it's no coincidence
that i've never been there
Feb 8, 2016
Feb 8, 2016 at 5:45 PM UTC
have you ever believed
in something so blindly
so genuinely
that the moment you realize
it isn't true, something inside you
changes forever?
i wanna tell you a story, see
seldom do i ever
go swimming in drinks
deep enough to drown in
but when i do
i speak in tongues
about things that none
of my memories
are allowed to talk about
like that christmas
at the isthmus
where my girlfriend
plucked a conch shell
whiter than gods teeth
out of the sand
held it to her ear
and stopped time
that day she was a shade of blue
the could've made the ocean sick
see, she loved to play jokes
when she held
the sea shell to her ear
she gasped, called my name
and said "i want you to hear this"
i said "yeah, right, everybody knows it's just the same old sea"
she replied "no. not this one. this one is special. listen. theres music in this one"
she handed me the shell
like a promise she couldn't keep
and i held it to my ear
with all the potential
of seeing shore
after being stranded
at sea for years
only to hear
a tired dirge of silence
spill from its emptiness
i guess she didn't know
how desperately
i wanted to hear it too
because ever since
something inside me snapped
now sand pours out
of every post card i open
i hear seagulls
in telephone static
sometimes i have dreams
where i bury my hands
in every beach
i've ever been on
and exhume this graveyard of noise
every time i try to sleep
i spit up fishhooks
and i guess i'm obsessed
but maybe
if i hold my ear
to enough vacant things
then i could have back
the time stolen from me
since it happened
maybe they would get it
if they knew what i wanted
when i blow out birthday candles
maybe they'll find me
face down in a wishing well
i watch eternal sunshine
of the spotless mind every day
pretending i can forget too
because this sea sickness
has followed me for years
because yesterday
i walked into a music shop
and all the pianos broke
but the only thing
i can think to say is
*do you know how bad
a memory has to be
that you fantasize
about forgetting it?*
Apr 22, 2015
Apr 22, 2015 at 2:30 PM UTC
ground zero
i become aware of boundaries
i am a dog chasing cars
i sing your voicemail to sleep
there are no surgeon general warnings
to tell me that
*the objects in the mirror
are more depressed than they appear*
so how do i tell you
that there are parts of my life
that move slower
without you in them?
or that i look for you every day
in emails & unanswered calls
in the sunrises
i didn't choose to be awake to watch
that i sometimes still stare at doorways hoping you would walk through them
stage 1 you tell your new lover you've got a splinter and they pull the sound of your body falling asleep on mine out of your fingertip
stage 2 your new lover says something at dinner that makes you choke so they call 911 & the paramedics do the hymleich not knowing you would ***** our promises all over the the restaurant
stage 3 your new lover surprises you by cleaning the house & washes the shirt you kept next to the bed, not knowing it was the last thing you had that smelled like me
after
people always ask
what was loving her like?
after a really long silence
i just say
"it must be nice"
but i never say
it's watching paint dry
i never say
it's a window seat in hell
i don't tell anyone
about the dreams
where i am reading you
bedtime stories
each one is a different way you die
& every time i can never save you
dreams where what i think
are angels in my bedroom
are just homeless versions
of myself you never loved
i have dreams
where i pay someone to shoot me
just to see if you would cry
just to see
if you would cradle my body
i don't tell people
that loving you is like
playing piano
for someone who can't hear
that it's hitting repeat
on my favorite song
& forgetting the words
every time it starts over
that it's finding out
there's no milk after you already
poured yourself a bowl of cereal
it's getting locked in the dark
& being told to
look on the bright side
that loving you is like
being reminded of what it felt like
the first time
you accidentally let go
of a balloon as a child
it's drowning without the water
it's the feeling you get
when you start to dance
& the song ends
Apr 22, 2015
Apr 22, 2015 at 2:25 PM UTC
I go to hold your hand,
only to find that it's not empty.
I try to fix your broken heart,
only to find it already mended.
I ask to fill your days,
only to see your calendar's full.
I go to kiss you gently,
only to feel that your lips are wet.
I try to say, "I love you",
only to find that you're not listening.
I look into your baby blues,
only to see someone else inside.
I can never truly call you mine,
if you already belong to another.
Apr 22, 2015
Apr 22, 2015 at 2:22 PM UTC
I want to softly whisper
incomplete poems
on your collar bones
that don't rhyme with anything
but your heavy breathing.
I want to bury my face
in the curves of your neck
because you smell like the winter clouds
and I've been gazing at the sky
since you left.
Jan 29, 2015
Jan 29, 2015 at 11:20 AM UTC
You and I will have no end
because there never was a beginning
You fall in love like it's some trend
because you're looking for the one like me
I am helping you get on the mend
because she will never know you like I do
I am the one on who you can depend
because we're as thick as thieves, forever
I am doing a backwards bend
because I need you to notice I want more
You have the gall to call me friend
because you can't see I'm falling for you
You are looking for someone new to apprehend
I'll keep waiting, trying to pretend
Jan 29, 2015
Jan 29, 2015 at 11:20 AM UTC
it's interesting how, at night, the smoke only reveals itself when shone on by the light. it's not even only the smoke -- it's the wind that moves it.
i thought of you while i smoked those three cigarettes. i can only reveal my true self when i'm with you. you are my light; the only one who possesses the ability to bring out the beauty in me, the beauty i've been keeping in for a very long time.
i'm intoxicated. both by the cigarettes and by you.
Oct 29, 2014
Oct 29, 2014 at 3:24 PM UTC
I've been thinking about you
It's what I do everyday
Yeah I've been thinking about you
But this time in a different way
I know it's been quite a long time
And Since I haven't had any signs
From you
Get out , get out of my head
And fall into my arms instead
Won't you ?
See, you got me wanting you
No I don't wanna f#%k you
I wanna make love to you
I wanna know how my body feels on yours
I wanna feel your lips on my skin
And do it till We overdose
Let me make you get that feeling
Let me be the one who make your heart racing
Let's make love
Come over here
we have some time to catch up
Don't disappear
I hate it when you make me feel like I messed up
I just wanna hold you tight
Be closer to your heart
And put aside the fights
There're so many things we should be doing
Honey I need you, I need your good loving
Be mine tonight
Be mine now and forever
Let's turn off the light
And make love to each other
Oct 29, 2014
Oct 29, 2014 at 3:24 PM UTC
She was the kind of girl
Worth dancing with
In the middle of the living room
To the music
Of late night television.
She was the kind of girl
Who made the sky dizzy
Whenever it looked down at her
Because she was
More vast than the sea.
She was the kind of girl
You wanted to kiss
In each and every snow drift
Because her lips
Were warmer than any jacket.
She was the kind of girl
Who held you at night
And whose arms lingered
Because when she was gone
You still felt her around you.
She was the kind of girl
People drag themselves
From their beds and walk to work
Because they needed to care
For a necessity like her.
She was the kind of girl
Who made you trip over
Words you wished were nearly as lovely as her,
Because she was the embodiment
Of all you ever wanted to say
To swoon the stars and put the moon in your back pocket.
Oct 29, 2014
Oct 29, 2014 at 3:21 PM UTC