kosmik - Hello Poetry

The rain is pouring hard today, and I am not with you. My thoughts linger and find you still, though. It is the time of the day when the sun has just finished setting, but a little light still hangs on to the sky ready to sleep. I imagine the world being wrapped in a humid coldness, with you and me living in it. I can see you and me in your single bed, with our skin cold from the weather, with the evening chill clinging onto your bed sheets. I'm laying on your chest and you're brushing my hair with your fingers. We both have heavy eyelids, remaining quiet so as not to break the white noise engulfing us. I picture you planting a kiss on my forehead. I can see you sleepily smiling from the corner of my eye, with my eyelash brushing against your chin with every tired blink. We stay quiet, but our bodies converse. Your index finger traces patterns on my right shoulder down to my arms. My breath creates warm patches on the dip of your neck. It's dark now. We both have the same thought in mind: this is perfect. But we don't have to say it to let each other know. The rain is pouring hard today, and I am not with you.

0

Mar 9, 2018

Mar 9, 2018 at 4:50 AM UTC

kosmik

Imagining You

The rain is pouring hard today, and I am not with you. My thoughts linger and find you still, though. It is the time of the day when the sun has just finished setting, but a little light still hangs on to the sky ready to sleep. I imagine the world being wrapped in a humid coldness, with you and me living in it. I can see you and me in your single bed, with our skin cold from the weather, with the evening chill clinging onto your bed sheets. I'm laying on your chest and you're brushing my hair with your fingers. We both have heavy eyelids, remaining quiet so as not to break the white noise engulfing us. I picture you planting a kiss on my forehead. I can see you sleepily smiling from the corner of my eye, with my eyelash brushing against your chin with every tired blink. We stay quiet, but our bodies converse. Your index finger traces patterns on my right shoulder down to my arms. My breath creates warm patches on the dip of your neck. It's dark now. We both have the same thought in mind: this is perfect. But we don't have to say it to let each other know. The rain is pouring hard today, and I am not with you.

2

This. This is her. This is the girl you fell in love with. And it confuses you so much to see yourself right where you are right now, because you've had your fair share of battle scars and open wounds in this half-struggle, half-relationship. But you're still here, and she's still here, and you're still together. Sometimes you get lost in the middle of your sentences just thinking about the way she never tells you everything, the way she forgets to comb her hair, the way she doesn't like to hold your hands. This is her, and you still have yet to know some things about her that will make you even more baffled. She's born to walk the face of the earth, to explore the world and all its nooks and crannies. She's made to take care of herself; she spends her time writing paragraphs about the places she's never been to, and how she'll meet people and try to get a place to stay in for the night after wandering around foreign cities. I'm telling you, never ever try to enclose her with your arms, trying to assure her that you'll never leave her and that she is your home. This is her. You fell in love with a traveler, and she'll never stop discovering things. But you're her home, and she always tells you, "Leaving home feels good, but coming back feels even better." And that is when you know she'll stay. She's born with the sharpest tongue, but with the softest heart. You know this all too well to deny this. All the arguments, all the heavy silences, all the walking away, all the screaming, and all the other things that made you feel so brittle and feeble -- it's all because of her. She has, inside of her, all the words that she knows will break you apart, but chooses to hide them all away somewhere in the room inside her head. She's born to confront, and she does it out of love. She sounds like she has the guts to snap your ribs and kick your teeth out, but the only truth is that she wants you to take her fists and kiss her knuckles. This is her. You fell in love with the girl who can't tell you what the truth really is. You fell in love with the girl who could only use rage to mask whatever it is that's shaking inside her. But she holds herself still and plants kisses on your forehead to calm down, and she holds your trembling bones from the aftermath of her words. She ends up quiet, as if the silence is the only apology she can offer. You need words, but she says nothing at all. And that's when you know she'll stay. You fell in love with the girl who's got the emptiest eyes among the people you know, but that's only so if you don't look a little closer. She's born to be frustratingly inconspicuous, and you never get a full grasp on her. She's vague, in too deep in the thought of finding whatever it is that she's meant to find, and it kills you to know that you can't keep up. At least, not yet. You fell in love with her -- the girl who never stops making art, who never stops writing songs, who only jots down the sad things and never the happy things. She's born to keep things from other people, especially the ones that she finds special. Her eyes are only the emptiest after a fight, and only the fullest when the tears cloud her vision, forgetting to concentrate on you and the rest of the world. This is her, and it confuses you because you still stay. And then she unravels, and you watch her, like a flower bud opening up in fast forward. She breaks apart in half with sighs and tears, tired limbs and heavy eyelids. She opens up for you to see. Then you remember why you stay. Then you remember why she stays. This is her, and this is only the tiny part of her quiet existence. And you're still you. This is the both of you, and you can either take it or leave it. There is no in-between.

0

Aug 6, 2015

Aug 6, 2015 at 9:40 AM UTC

kosmik

Take It or Leave It

This. This is her. This is the girl you fell in love with. And it confuses you so much to see yourself right where you are right now, because you've had your fair share of battle scars and open wounds in this half-struggle, half-relationship. But you're still here, and she's still here, and you're still together. Sometimes you get lost in the middle of your sentences just thinking about the way she never tells you everything, the way she forgets to comb her hair, the way she doesn't like to hold your hands. This is her, and you still have yet to know some things about her that will make you even more baffled. She's born to walk the face of the earth, to explore the world and all its nooks and crannies. She's made to take care of herself; she spends her time writing paragraphs about the places she's never been to, and how she'll meet people and try to get a place to stay in for the night after wandering around foreign cities. I'm telling you, never ever try to enclose her with your arms, trying to assure her that you'll never leave her and that she is your home. This is her. You fell in love with a traveler, and she'll never stop discovering things. But you're her home, and she always tells you, "Leaving home feels good, but coming back feels even better." And that is when you know she'll stay. She's born with the sharpest tongue, but with the softest heart. You know this all too well to deny this. All the arguments, all the heavy silences, all the walking away, all the screaming, and all the other things that made you feel so brittle and feeble -- it's all because of her. She has, inside of her, all the words that she knows will break you apart, but chooses to hide them all away somewhere in the room inside her head. She's born to confront, and she does it out of love. She sounds like she has the guts to snap your ribs and kick your teeth out, but the only truth is that she wants you to take her fists and kiss her knuckles. This is her. You fell in love with the girl who can't tell you what the truth really is. You fell in love with the girl who could only use rage to mask whatever it is that's shaking inside her. But she holds herself still and plants kisses on your forehead to calm down, and she holds your trembling bones from the aftermath of her words. She ends up quiet, as if the silence is the only apology she can offer. You need words, but she says nothing at all. And that's when you know she'll stay. You fell in love with the girl who's got the emptiest eyes among the people you know, but that's only so if you don't look a little closer. She's born to be frustratingly inconspicuous, and you never get a full grasp on her. She's vague, in too deep in the thought of finding whatever it is that she's meant to find, and it kills you to know that you can't keep up. At least, not yet. You fell in love with her -- the girl who never stops making art, who never stops writing songs, who only jots down the sad things and never the happy things. She's born to keep things from other people, especially the ones that she finds special. Her eyes are only the emptiest after a fight, and only the fullest when the tears cloud her vision, forgetting to concentrate on you and the rest of the world. This is her, and it confuses you because you still stay. And then she unravels, and you watch her, like a flower bud opening up in fast forward. She breaks apart in half with sighs and tears, tired limbs and heavy eyelids. She opens up for you to see. Then you remember why you stay. Then you remember why she stays. This is her, and this is only the tiny part of her quiet existence. And you're still you. This is the both of you, and you can either take it or leave it. There is no in-between.

5

do you feel that too? do you feel the sting of the static electrocute our lovelorn lips right after they part? do you feel the pull of gravity when we kiss? it guides our hands to find each other’s necks, and every movement creates heart earthquakes and little soul deaths. do you feel the bumps on my skin as you undress my mind and at the same time, take off my clothes? do you feel your fingertips mark me with potential wounds, but cover them up with warm kisses? you’ve traveled on my body like a clueless wanderer, and you found the places that i hide from everybody else. you’ve touched the parts of me that nobody can see but us. do you feel that too? do you feel the ghosts hide behind the curtains when you say, “you still haunt me in my sleep,” even when we sleep side by side every night? you used to say that the grass and the trees and the leaves and the branches dance for me. well love, they stop all their swaying and twisting when our bodies move together in the dark; we have an accidental choreography to the symphonies that our hearts create. the whole world stops to listen when you say, “you’re beautiful,” and the sky forgets to shine along with the sun when i smile. we are each other’s world; we are each other’s sky & sunshine. tell me. do you feel that too? do you feel the colors splatter your insides when you realize that you’re in love, and when you realize that you wouldn’t know what to do if this love ever falls apart? because i do, love. i feel them all. i feel the static. i feel the earthquakes. i feel the world stop. i feel the clocks stop ticking. i feel everything all at once, even when it only really happens in my mind. tell me, do you feel this too? i feel everything for you.

0

Jun 7, 2015

Jun 7, 2015 at 2:29 AM UTC

kosmik

do you feel that too?

do you feel that too? do you feel the sting of the static electrocute our lovelorn lips right after they part? do you feel the pull of gravity when we kiss? it guides our hands to find each other’s necks, and every movement creates heart earthquakes and little soul deaths. do you feel the bumps on my skin as you undress my mind and at the same time, take off my clothes? do you feel your fingertips mark me with potential wounds, but cover them up with warm kisses? you’ve traveled on my body like a clueless wanderer, and you found the places that i hide from everybody else. you’ve touched the parts of me that nobody can see but us. do you feel that too? do you feel the ghosts hide behind the curtains when you say, “you still haunt me in my sleep,” even when we sleep side by side every night? you used to say that the grass and the trees and the leaves and the branches dance for me. well love, they stop all their swaying and twisting when our bodies move together in the dark; we have an accidental choreography to the symphonies that our hearts create. the whole world stops to listen when you say, “you’re beautiful,” and the sky forgets to shine along with the sun when i smile. we are each other’s world; we are each other’s sky & sunshine. tell me. do you feel that too? do you feel the colors splatter your insides when you realize that you’re in love, and when you realize that you wouldn’t know what to do if this love ever falls apart? because i do, love. i feel them all. i feel the static. i feel the earthquakes. i feel the world stop. i feel the clocks stop ticking. i feel everything all at once, even when it only really happens in my mind. tell me, do you feel this too? i feel everything for you.

1

i didn't know that the universe existed right in the space between our lips just before they meet i didn't know that gravity existed in the moment right before we kiss i didn't know that i could hold so much words in my mind but walk a straight line anyway despite of the truth that there is an apocalypse occuring inside my system i didn't know that people could make me feel like i'm the world just by telling me that i am but through whispering into my lips and through silent conversations i didn't know that certain parts of my mind existed until you walked into it and lit up every corner until you touched the walls of my skull exactly like the way your lips traced my skin i didn't know that i could have the chance to live to experience you to cherish you to love you until today and i swear to my favorite constellation that it is a pivilege to have experienced you to have cherished you to have loved you among all the things i didn't know i am sure of one thing i know, and i am certain that i love you that i am loved that good things exist because you do that i can sometimes be the universe because someone loves me like i am

0

Apr 5, 2015

Apr 5, 2015 at 2:01 AM UTC

kosmik

What I Didn't Know Versus What I Am Already Sure Of

i didn't know that the universe existed right in the space between our lips just before they meet i didn't know that gravity existed in the moment right before we kiss i didn't know that i could hold so much words in my mind but walk a straight line anyway despite of the truth that there is an apocalypse occuring inside my system i didn't know that people could make me feel like i'm the world just by telling me that i am but through whispering into my lips and through silent conversations i didn't know that certain parts of my mind existed until you walked into it and lit up every corner until you touched the walls of my skull exactly like the way your lips traced my skin i didn't know that i could have the chance to live to experience you to cherish you to love you until today and i swear to my favorite constellation that it is a pivilege to have experienced you to have cherished you to have loved you among all the things i didn't know i am sure of one thing i know, and i am certain that i love you that i am loved that good things exist because you do that i can sometimes be the universe because someone loves me like i am

42

there are worse things than being alone but it often takes decades to realize this and most often when you do it's too late and there's nothing worse than too late.

0

kosmik

Jan 24, 2015

Jan 24, 2015 at 11:49 PM UTC

Charles Bukowski

oh yes

there are worse things than being alone but it often takes decades to realize this and most often when you do it's too late and there's nothing worse than too late.

10

i'm trying to break the barriers between us, but my voice isn't loud enough; scream with me, have faith. before it's far too late.. before the walls consume us and silence us for a longer time than we expect... before i drown myself in the pool of our lost memories, i'd rather have the walls swallow me. before i fall apart at the seams just like the first rose you gave me that withered, i'd rather let you leave numbly. before the immortal stillness starts to drip down my neck, and i'll begin to hear my own cells crack at the cry of your name... before the raindrops, the exact replica of my tears, fall on the ashes of our crowded memories that are no longer familiar... before my heroine turns to ****** before the offsprings of spring decide to kidnap me, before the hands on the clock choke me... before my heartbeat turns into electric shocks that fail to revive me, before the stars in my eyes burn out faster than us... leave me. leave me numb, alone, unaware. my body ran out of red, now i'm bleeding hues while waiting for you. you dug my own hole, you smothered my soul. they warned me about how you had a habit of running your thumb against others' lives, but i wont let you touch mine. my existence will not be smudged by yours; leave, before you take over me completely.

0

Nov 19, 2014

Nov 19, 2014 at 8:24 AM UTC

kosmik

a poem collaboration with f.a.r.

i'm trying to break the barriers between us, but my voice isn't loud enough; scream with me, have faith. before it's far too late.. before the walls consume us and silence us for a longer time than we expect... before i drown myself in the pool of our lost memories, i'd rather have the walls swallow me. before i fall apart at the seams just like the first rose you gave me that withered, i'd rather let you leave numbly. before the immortal stillness starts to drip down my neck, and i'll begin to hear my own cells crack at the cry of your name... before the raindrops, the exact replica of my tears, fall on the ashes of our crowded memories that are no longer familiar... before my heroine turns to ****** before the offsprings of spring decide to kidnap me, before the hands on the clock choke me... before my heartbeat turns into electric shocks that fail to revive me, before the stars in my eyes burn out faster than us... leave me. leave me numb, alone, unaware. my body ran out of red, now i'm bleeding hues while waiting for you. you dug my own hole, you smothered my soul. they warned me about how you had a habit of running your thumb against others' lives, but i wont let you touch mine. my existence will not be smudged by yours; leave, before you take over me completely.

30

i love you. i do, i really do. and i’m sorry if it freaks you out sometimes, but these feelings are so overwhelmingly strong that it shakes my whole system even after 2 am. i dream of you constantly and it horrifies me because they seem so real — as if i could still feel it, taste it, remember it like it happened yesterday. i love you, and it’s scary to think that your words can break me anytime, any moment. i am vulnerable to you, and i think it’s both beautiful and sad how i easily & effortlessly gave it all up just so i could be with you. there’s just something — God knows what — that made me want to be with you even though i’m aware that you’re galaxies away from me. i love you, and i love how i feel beautiful when you say that you are in love with me too. God, you are my favorite. i must admit that i have kissed & loved enough boys to know what brokenness truly feels like, but you mended me just like i’m something familiar, something you’ve been fixing your entire life. it’s a sick, mad world we’re living in, but you make it seem less agonizing whenever i hear you say those three words at 3 am, 4 pm, or 11 pm. i’m in love with you, and it’s more intoxicating than the cigarettes and the alcohol i’ve taken in my whole life combined, and i don’t even want to be sober. you are the high even without the drug. you are the euphoria even without the ******* (beautiful) fireworks. you are the emotion even without the words. i love you, and it’s okay if you can’t put it into words — how you feel — because even the silence i spend with you is enough to give me butterflies in my empty stomach. i don’t know what time it is, but it’s past midnight, and i’m still writing about you. i am a mess for and because of you, and my handwriting is proof. you shake my system even when you’re not there, and my dear, this is rare. i love you dearly, with all honestly, and with all faithfulness. and i can’t help but think about you, every **** day. you’re both my drug and my antidote. my poem. my sunlight, my stars. my soul. and i hope you love me too, as much as i love you.

0

Oct 31, 2014

Oct 31, 2014 at 9:32 AM UTC

kosmik

i dug up my old journal entries and found you

i love you. i do, i really do. and i’m sorry if it freaks you out sometimes, but these feelings are so overwhelmingly strong that it shakes my whole system even after 2 am. i dream of you constantly and it horrifies me because they seem so real — as if i could still feel it, taste it, remember it like it happened yesterday. i love you, and it’s scary to think that your words can break me anytime, any moment. i am vulnerable to you, and i think it’s both beautiful and sad how i easily & effortlessly gave it all up just so i could be with you. there’s just something — God knows what — that made me want to be with you even though i’m aware that you’re galaxies away from me. i love you, and i love how i feel beautiful when you say that you are in love with me too. God, you are my favorite. i must admit that i have kissed & loved enough boys to know what brokenness truly feels like, but you mended me just like i’m something familiar, something you’ve been fixing your entire life. it’s a sick, mad world we’re living in, but you make it seem less agonizing whenever i hear you say those three words at 3 am, 4 pm, or 11 pm. i’m in love with you, and it’s more intoxicating than the cigarettes and the alcohol i’ve taken in my whole life combined, and i don’t even want to be sober. you are the high even without the drug. you are the euphoria even without the ******* (beautiful) fireworks. you are the emotion even without the words. i love you, and it’s okay if you can’t put it into words — how you feel — because even the silence i spend with you is enough to give me butterflies in my empty stomach. i don’t know what time it is, but it’s past midnight, and i’m still writing about you. i am a mess for and because of you, and my handwriting is proof. you shake my system even when you’re not there, and my dear, this is rare. i love you dearly, with all honestly, and with all faithfulness. and i can’t help but think about you, every **** day. you’re both my drug and my antidote. my poem. my sunlight, my stars. my soul. and i hope you love me too, as much as i love you.

7

it's interesting how, at night, the smoke only reveals itself when shone on by the light. it's not even only the smoke -- it's the wind that moves it. i thought of you while i smoked those three cigarettes. i can only reveal my true self when i'm with you. you are my light; the only one who possesses the ability to bring out the beauty in me, the beauty i've been keeping in for a very long time. i'm intoxicated. both by the cigarettes and by you.

0

Oct 29, 2014

Oct 29, 2014 at 7:35 AM UTC

kosmik

cigarette count: 3 // 18:57

it's interesting how, at night, the smoke only reveals itself when shone on by the light. it's not even only the smoke -- it's the wind that moves it. i thought of you while i smoked those three cigarettes. i can only reveal my true self when i'm with you. you are my light; the only one who possesses the ability to bring out the beauty in me, the beauty i've been keeping in for a very long time. i'm intoxicated. both by the cigarettes and by you.

3

He's the son of the wind and the ocean I'm the son of the mountains and the trees The water is his element and i, the earth His cool demeanor made the rock beneath me Melt becoming quicksand ******* me into the cold, dark ground below When he comes close, Everything feels right When he touches my skin, Tremors appear like the remnants of earthquakes When he says my name, The mountains recede, And the birds sing brighter But the geography does not align Alas, the mountains will never move To meet the ocean Only the wind from coastlines Can meet with the canopies of the trees But, the waters cannot flood the summit and, thus, we can never be.

0

Oct 20, 2014

Oct 20, 2014 at 7:25 AM UTC

kosmik

Why the Mountains Can Never Meet the Sea // (by Jorge Padre)

He's the son of the wind and the ocean I'm the son of the mountains and the trees The water is his element and i, the earth His cool demeanor made the rock beneath me Melt becoming quicksand ******* me into the cold, dark ground below When he comes close, Everything feels right When he touches my skin, Tremors appear like the remnants of earthquakes When he says my name, The mountains recede, And the birds sing brighter But the geography does not align Alas, the mountains will never move To meet the ocean Only the wind from coastlines Can meet with the canopies of the trees But, the waters cannot flood the summit and, thus, we can never be.

20

maybe... maybe it's okay to lose people. maybe they're supposed to stay for a little while; they are only vessels of tiny reminders such as let the pain remind you that you can still feel and so now you know why not to trust and get attached. maybe... maybe it's okay to leave people. maybe we're supposed to leave because they're poisonous - or maybe we are - either way, when it's not right, someone's got to leave.

0

Sep 3, 2014

Sep 3, 2014 at 7:54 AM UTC

kosmik

is this what give and take means in the real world?

maybe... maybe it's okay to lose people. maybe they're supposed to stay for a little while; they are only vessels of tiny reminders such as let the pain remind you that you can still feel and so now you know why not to trust and get attached. maybe... maybe it's okay to leave people. maybe we're supposed to leave because they're poisonous - or maybe we are - either way, when it's not right, someone's got to leave.

20