Some days I wonder if I would be better
off dead,I'm a burden to my family
a worry for my friends,always a problem
and others having to find the solution
to what's wrong with me,so I don't blame
them for leaving.
But I know whats wrong with me I'm not meant
to be alive.never being able to keep
the people I love I always find a way to mess
it up even though its perfect,so I don't blame
them for leaving.
i believe I'm not able to keep a relationship
with someone is because I'm not used to something good
its not that I don't like it.its because I'm not
comfortable with it,I think I cant get too
close to a person so I find a way to make them
leave its not because I want them to leave,so I
don't blame them for leaving.
I'm testing them to see if they will stay or leave
like everyone else but they leave and its because I'm a burden
and "too much to deal with" so they leave and I don't
blame them because I would too I hate
myself for the person I am its always been like this,
so I don't blame them for leaving.
Feb 19
Feb 19, 2026 at 10:30 AM UTC
I can not sleep
For I keep thinking of dying
Life is cacophonous and terrifying
Only death feels quiet and comforting
Something deep within me knows
That death is a woman
Not divine, not even human
Though hooded she may be
She is gentle and graceful
She smells of flowers and rain
Oh, what a beauty
So, tonight when she takes me,
She will lift me like a child
And caress all of my pain away
She will cradle me into the light
Don't feel sorry for me.
I shall sleep peacefully
Lulled by her lullaby
Feb 18
Feb 18, 2026 at 12:00 PM UTC
we need to stop romanticizing yearning every
time I have yearned I always get hurt
yearning is just loving someone
way more than they to you,maybe
that just means you have a big heart
but I don't think so
because all it does is hurt
yearning is not a love language its leftover
feelings of love behind
it echos and always stays,a form of self-
inflicted agonizing emotional torture that feeds
on unmet needs and toxic
attachment to potential
its a desperate,quiet hunger of love
that often to stem from a
fear of abandonment or a belief
is ones own unworthiness,delaying healing
and personal growth
we keep telling ourselves that its beautiful
to wait,to ache,to miss,and to
quietly drown in our own softness
but there's nothing noble about
suffering for what will never return
we've been taught that patience equals love
yearning is not a romantic sign of deep
love but deep tour cure
the bible says it is a "deep often painful emotion"
but sometimes you just can't help not to
yearn its the human instinct to yearn
someone who yearns is someone who does not
want to be abandon and possibly has been abandon
many times in the past and who
gets attached to easily
I'm the definition of yearning
when we yearn,we yearn for
something that makes us feel more whole,
more peaceful,more us,we're trying to reach
across and absence and fill it in
yearning mostly always one-sided,
that's just a fact.
yearning hurts because it is a
complex,primal emotion state combining
deep desire to be loved
and the frustration of unmet need for love
that never get met from the one yearning
for me I think yearning an addiction...I think
that's worse than any drugs I have taken.
Feb 16
Feb 16, 2026 at 2:13 PM UTC
I walk a with a IDGAF attitude
and I walk around like I don't care
but I care so much
I miss you so much.
life hasn't felt like life after
you left and I just want you back,I'm still
not sure what I did to make you leave me,
because you won't talk to me,
but I will do anything to get you back.
I just miss you so much and I have never
loved a person this much before.
Ever since you left me I have not stopped getting high
and doing anything not to feel the pain of you not
being here with me
I just want you back I will do anything.
Feb 12
Feb 12, 2026 at 5:02 PM UTC