i cant say i love you, that's too selfish of me,
because i disappear into myself.
a lot.
it's cool that you don't question me,
don't blink an eye -you take it as it is,
as i am--
and i love that.
it thaws me out and pushes me back to the surface.
i gasp for air, like i actually want to breathe,
i want to live.
you,
just being here.
that, that's everything.
i can't say i love you
because its selfish.
all i am, is all i have to offer.
Mar 28, 2015
Mar 28, 2015 at 9:21 PM UTC
Let me finish what I meant to say before
I'm sorry
For being so damaged
Wanting my death to happen to you
(*because I am not the one
who'll be left to pick up the pieces
and it is you
who will need to cope*)
I am sorry
That I am so so damaged and
broken beyond repair
That I sit and
Rip my skin into bits
So that I can feel
The burning under my skin
I haven't been hugged like that in ages
And I hope you don't know what happened to my shoulders
This is not just a phase
*I am so sorry
That this is not a simple phase*
I am sorry
That you got someone like me
Who thinks the way I do
And acts the way I do
Especially with myself
I am sorry
You didn't get someone more normal
Who can pretend they're alright
Convince themselves every night
And don't believe that there's
Something much better out there
That the universe is much crazier
And madder than can be believed
.
Mar 28, 2015
Mar 28, 2015 at 9:20 PM UTC
I need you right now to tell me you love me she screamed.
With tears flooding her face her eyes had a haze
she reached in the distance
She reached..
But nothing was there..
No one could hear her scream
Her voice muffled by the pain she retained life..
Life as she knows it has been swept away she stands..
She stands in the middle of traffic headlights swerving
Colors illuminating her mind
She feels her body grow heavy
She collapses reaching & screaming
Reaching for a pigment a vibrant hallucination of love
In the middle of a busy street she lays gripping the pavement leaving traces of blood
Her wrist slit eye lids heavy her voice is heard yet she is screaming pills spill across the floor
Broken, hopeless completely incomplete..
The white silhouette begins draining.
Mar 28, 2015
Mar 28, 2015 at 9:20 PM UTC