Waiting. Time stands still.
The world slows down, why is that?
To practice patience
Oct 13, 2016
Oct 13, 2016 at 10:18 PM UTC
Be cautious
Be weary
Of the **** victim who doesn't like to be touched.
I mean she likes to be touched but
Not in a certain way or
Not on a certain day
Be weary
Be cautious
Of the **** victim who has flashbacks of the "incident"
"Why are you crying during ***
"Are you okay?"
"Why do you want me to stop?"
Because it's my body and I said so,
Because it's my body and I said
STOP
Be cautious
Be weary
Around your new **** victim" girlfriend
Making sure if it's okay to caress your body every time,
Being gentle enough to not trigger another panic attack because the last one was bad enough...
Be weary
Be cautious
By showing support,
Not by trying to fix what can't be fixed.
By listening.
Not by saying you understand because I doubt you were a **** victim too.
Rest in peace to the girl who couldn't live her life the way she was supposed to because she was too busy being the **** victim...
Oct 13, 2016
Oct 13, 2016 at 10:17 PM UTC
I am from a mother and step dad that loves me dearly, a "father" that rarely sees me, a beautiful sister who inspires me everyday, and my best friend who loves me unconditionally.
From swimming late nights in my grandparents' pool
and sleepovers times a million
Labor Day barbecues,
Cross country road trips,
Telling jokes and sharing stories
I am from karaoke nights, game nights, wish I could see them more nights
I am from family adventures
I am from theatre clubs and dance teams
Perfection for performances
Repetition is key
I am from different characters and seeing the world from their eyes
Pointed toes and pretty smiles
I am from the stage
I am from a society that teaches "don't get ***** instead of "don't ****
I am from not accepting the truth when I have battle scars as proof
I am from a world where I have to try not to attract any attention because it could be the "wrong" attention
I am from objectification
I am from healing and self love
Strength and self confidence regained
I am a child of God and for that I will never be afraid
I am from faith
This chapter is just beginning
I'm looking forward to where life takes me
This is where I'm from.
Oct 4, 2016
Oct 4, 2016 at 2:15 PM UTC
*I need someone I can rely on
When all in life is said and done
Who's only crutch is that of love
~Someone just like you~
Someone close who knows me well
Not just another kiss and tell
Someone willing to offer help
~ Someone just like you~
I need someone to be the link
To right the wrongs truthfully
Someone who is a part of me
~ Someone just like you~
Someone with a warm soft heart
A gentle soul, a lasting mark
A hidden flame inside the spark
~ Someone just like you~
Guess what I am trying to say
I need someone as a help mate
Someone lasting all my days
~ Someone just like you~*
Jun 23, 2016
Jun 23, 2016 at 7:45 AM UTC
No one ever tells you how hard it is.
I say no one ever tells you because you have to feel it for yourself.
You may have heard stories, but you will never know the struggle until you go through it yourself.
I'm talking about how to love
Or how not to love
You see, everyone makes it seem like it's a fairytale and everyone gets their own prince charming at the end of their own book.
They don't see what happens behind closed doors.
Do you know how long it took to write that book?
Do you know how many mistakes the author made?
Do you know how many times he wanted to start over and start a new story?
Go in a different direction?
Replace a character just to find out that that person was needed in ways us as readers will never understand?
Yes, in the end, we all get to experience the happy ending
But at what cost did it take the author to get there?
How many times did he struggle until he just...
Settled?
Jun 23, 2016
Jun 23, 2016 at 7:43 AM UTC
He was Daniel Kingery to the police.
Daniel Overstreet to his friends.
He was Dollar Dan on the streets.
He was Daniel,
he was wet rough kisses and anger and lust to me.
He found me one day,
18 years to his 37,
he found me when i was still a question mark trying to bleed red.
From behind a lens pointed at my naked flesh
he became a man of mystery,
he became the object of my desires.
I was a young, naive girl who got caught up in
how his pockets were always full- he flaunted it.
The flowers and the exotic dinners and the alcohol and the touch...
oh god, the way we fell into bed,
onto chairs,
into walls.
Then i fell in love on a broken sidewalk.
I was blind to the empty shadows in his eyes,
to the lines he had recited,
to the webs on his face.
I made a god out of a sociopath and i called him "love".
I was his ****** his baby blue.
I became wild under his touch,
manic when he gave me his attention,
suicidal at his leaving.
I was a flower that once was his favorite,
but he left me on the windowsill at a slow, burning wilt
and forgot to water me most days.
Why water a flower when you could have a garden?
Have you ever hated what you loved
until even their existence ate at you?
I have.
Aug 15, 2015
Aug 15, 2015 at 3:41 AM UTC
When I see the love in his eyes,
I always go back to our first kiss.
It was in an elevator.
I remember, I pushed all the buttons.
Floor one,
Tension was in the air but it felt like it belonged there,
In an empty elevator with just us two,
I could feel time stop.
Floor two,
I could hear heartbeats racing, and not just my own
As we stand there, side by side, my palms start to get sweaty,
I can't seem to peel my eyes away from his smile, his lips.
I see the words roll off of his tongue and automatically, I start to fall.
Fall for his charm, his witt, his heart of gold, and his beautiful, brown eyes.
As the doors start to close, leaving floor three, our lips collided.
In that moment, nothing else mattered.
He held me by the waist, lips still interlocked,
I never knew so much passion could be felt in one kiss.
As our lips slowly drifted apart,
I could feel the breath from my body escape,
Floor four,
As we reached our destination,
I could feel my cheeks were burning red.
The grin I had from ear to ear could be seen for miles,
The gleam in his eye shined brighter than ever before.
That moment in the elevator,
That moment in time, is something I will look back on for the rest of my life,
That moment is the moment where I fell in love.
Aug 15, 2015
Aug 15, 2015 at 12:48 AM UTC
If you knew
What really goes on
Inside my head
It would break you
I would rather minimize the casualties
So please,
Please
Just leave me alone
Nov 16, 2014
Nov 16, 2014 at 6:16 AM UTC
When I fell, no one was there catch me.
When I broke, no one was there to put me back together.
When I cried, no one was there to wipe my tears away.
When you're alone in the world, you feel like you have nothing.
You feel like it's you against the world.
You feel like nothing will ever change...
But it did.
Everything became brighter. Everything became better...
All because of you.
You were the light at the end of my tunnel of darkness.
You were the safety belt that saved me from being pulled deeper into the madness of the world around me.
You were the one that saw the good in me when no one else did.
You were the one to catch me, dry my tears, and fix me.
You took me by the hand, looked in my eyes and said, "Everything will be okay.
No more worries,
No more fears,
No more being alone..."
Aug 21, 2014
Aug 21, 2014 at 11:34 PM UTC
As I lie awake this night
Something seems to be off,
The fact that i can see myself truly was a shock.
Fast asleep, I watch myself
Dreams flowing through my head
Or maybe I wasn't sleeping,
Maybe I was dead...
The closer that i looked, the more that I could see
The lifeless body on the bed that happened to be me
I tried so hard to wake up from this nightmare but nothing really worked
I wanted to feel sad but I could no longer feel the hurt...
The pain, the misery that was once a part of me
I couldn't feel it anymore because I wasn't breathing
I felt light like a feather
A weight lifted from my shoulders
But I'd give it all back just so I can hold her...
The baby girl I never had..
I just wanted to see her smile
And have her in my arms just for a little while.
Can I at least to say goodbye to the ones that i know now?
To tell them that I love them and that I'd be with them somehow...
I didn't know my time was coming
I would have said it sooner
I wasted all my time dreaming about the future
The future that I no longer get to have
Because not every day is promised...and this one was my last...
As I fade away into the darkness of the what ifs or what could have been
I think about my beautiful journey and accept that this is where it ends...
Jul 17, 2014
Jul 17, 2014 at 6:04 AM UTC