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nightmares-of-a-novelist
nightmares-of-a-novelist
Black man dead and we still counting Hands to the sky asking to move mountains But even preachers lose patience Lost hope, Church seats left vacant We see lives lost with shots fired So many tears, we mourn tired A black life is a dark night It's all bleak and you may never see the light Pistols and prayers On the minds of grieving gangsters It's why they blow the high and hope to die When coppers turn to robbers And steal the lives of our brothers Then turn around like they can't be bothered All lives matter except the blacks murdered There's home in Africa, We feel your burden Different places but still blessed with the same faces So God willing, we can stand to face this
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Aug 28, 2016
Aug 28, 2016 at 3:01 PM UTC
Just Us
LITTLE WOMAN. Another day, I must get paid No shame, No shade, I live to get laid I ain't no doctor or scholar Just a little woman raising her daughter And I tell her big girls don't cry For a man or else pluck both eyes I came from nothing, Mama was a beggar Can't respect my hustle, Call me homewrecker They left their wives for my bed of lies I don't judge a client, I just do the time Dark rooms, light moods, I hold my meetings Don't worry boo, I keep a secret Your words are precious as a holy prayer They said Mr preacher, won't you save her? He called me Jezebel, Daddy spared my rod Night vigil in a hotel, Praise the Lord I was on my knees, Not the fear of God That's the cost of sin a girl can afford Play the game, If he like it, I love it Tell him I can't get enough of it Can't stain my pride, It's not yours to tarnish Nothing to hide, I put the ** in honest.
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Aug 28, 2016
Aug 28, 2016 at 2:57 PM UTC
Little Woman.
OBSESSED I hoped it was just a bad dream A script with countless sad scenes Mirror on the wall, Tell me that i'm obsessed Before I break you to **** my demons but still possessed Play our favourite song so I can turn it off Say you hate me so I can shut you up I hope you try to forgive and you try to forget Trust that if you can't remember, You can't regret We're at odds trying to get even I'll watch your back just to stab it, Cuts still bleeding You say your skin crawls every time you touch me You suffocate every time you hug me? Don't you think I hear the whispers? "what they have is abusive" Because you wear makeup to hide the bruises I guess this hurts you more than it hurts me But the truth is we're both hurting
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Jul 27, 2016
Jul 27, 2016 at 6:59 AM UTC
Obsessed.
I see beauty in the pain like flowers on a grave Bear my sins on my sleeves and never be ashamed Should have prayed like a preacher but temptation was always sweeter The other woman was looming, Sooner you had to meet her But home is where the heart is and mine is never furnished Heartbroken like glass shards  melted in a furnace Stare at the night sky, Praying for patience Wish we were lovers in the dark, Just hasty and nameless Never drunk in love again, No chance of relapsing Rather drown in my regrets, Barely gasping My mind is distant with no plan of returning Just try to read the letter before you burn it Sometimes love worsens before it's worth it So make me the last mistake you fall in love with.
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Jul 27, 2016
Jul 27, 2016 at 6:50 AM UTC
Take Care.
I miss your face The way your lips curl in when you smile And your eyes light up when you speak Each word you utter falls gently on my skin Lightly caressing me, touching me Leaving me. I miss your voice I've called your mobile phone So many times, just to hear it once more Your voicemail saying "please call back" And I do, over and over, waiting patiently for you But there's still no answer. I miss your love You embraced me on the bad days And fought away memories of my mistakes Loved me through the times I destroyed myself You saved me from jumping in front of a train And let me cry in your arms. I miss your presence They say ghosts never leave you If they have unfinished business But our love isn't over, so where are you hiding Between the time of death and the goodbyes I said I still remember your lips replying, "I love you". I'm sitting at your grave Missing every inch of you, Even the parts of you that you left in me Have gone missing and I feel like an Incompleted jigsaw I have found it so hard to keep living, My heart stopped beating the moment yours did So why am I still living in a world without you I miss every part of you, so **** much.
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Jun 22, 2016
Jun 22, 2016 at 5:14 AM UTC
Breathless
I cut myself again tonight And my skin parted like the Red Sea I am Moses. I cut open my inside thigh Hiding my disease, so no one could see, Looks can be deceiving. I covered my wounds with plasters; Envying the way plasters hid pain, Much Better than I did. I took care of my wounds Incase of infection, so I would never have to explain Why my thighs cracked like volcanoes. I drew thick safety lines Thick enough to block out feelings This is apathy. I became reborn every morning After baptising in my holy tears God will receive me. I had no faith to walk over the waters Terrified that the waters would drown me I am Peter. I keep self sacrificing, hanging myself on the cross For my sins that I can't stop committing I am Jesus, Or is this blasphemy?
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May 25, 2016
May 25, 2016 at 6:41 PM UTC
Cut
Drawing blank pages when my thoughts are crowded Every step I take, the same person will doubt it It's God's gift when I put my pain to paper But these days, The mirror reveals a stranger Had the Midas touch now it's writer's block Hard to guard my heart when i'm fighting lust Every face I gaze, I have no mind to trust Every girl that I loved is every bridge that I burned Time is a jewel that you lose or keep precious My times now are more sins and less confessions My dreams are silhouettes, only dark thoughts My mind fears what the heart wants To live and die young, If only I could help it take these as my last words, the eulogy's poetic.
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May 12, 2016
May 12, 2016 at 3:03 AM UTC
Note to self II.
His love dies, ****** was the case The partner in crime was another lover that she chased He tried to erase with blind dates and one night stands But the time is lost like a clock without hands Every man's winter becomes spring When a lady pulls his heartstrings Is love blind or first sight? I know I wanted her since that first night Take her smile as a good omen And stay in love for the moment As that moment is fleeting I wonder if I need her or she needs me Yet I'm attached as she is to her weaves And as leaves are to trees Where this lovebird is perched in a lonely nest she'll be the one lady who knows me best It's what my lips say but deep down, I still pray That our love isn't just a deck of cards where we play each other's hearts.
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Feb 26, 2016
Feb 26, 2016 at 12:26 PM UTC
Lessons of The Heart.
DADDY'S  GIRL She was daddy's girl, Her name was Mary A pretty daisy, Mother's little baby So sweet and innocent, The pastor's daughter so she could only be raised proper The story goes from when she met him In her church clothes, Jack wore ***** denim He was the kind of boy she was warned about With the flashy car, Cigar in his mouth He had the charm and liked to talk slick She said he was just a bag of tricks Jack held her waist and said he was no player He said she was playful, He wanted to tame her That's all jack had to say to get the prize Of what Mary gave between her thighs Principle upheld became pleasure forbidden Her first time was another time for him Time passed by days and months Since Mary had her taste for lust When her snow white was tainted with dirt She fell sick, Jack found other girls to flirt Then Mary got the news she had to expect Mary was pregnant, Jack would give a threat He asked first "Is it even me?" She said "who else could it be?" Suddenly, Jack turned cold and dreary As he told her to get it buried Mary said "you'll have to **** me first" Jack said, "Don't tempt me, You might regret" And then she had an upstanding in place As a preacher's daughter, Daddy would be disgraced So mary had to make a decision A single mother life was never her ambition Did she have the right to do this wrong? And take the life of one barely young? Yet she found herself in a clinic The doctor promised it would be quick Tears fell as she stood defeated All she had was a broken heart and a dead foetus Could she ever tell her parents? Could she ask the lord for penance? She wondered if she killed a him or her Daddy's girl would never be a mother Three days later, She wrote this letter And left it on her father's doorstep Before she hung herself to a premature death.
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Feb 20, 2016
Feb 20, 2016 at 8:34 AM UTC
Daddy's Girl.
DADDY'S  GIRL She was daddy's girl, Her name was Mary A pretty daisy, Mother's little baby So sweet and innocent, The pastor's daughter so she could only be raised proper The story goes from when she met him In her church clothes, Jack wore ***** denim He was the kind of boy she was warned about With the flashy car, Cigar in his mouth He had the charm and liked to talk slick She said he was just a bag of tricks Jack held her waist and said he was no player He said she was playful, He wanted to tame her That's all jack had to say to get the prize Of what Mary gave between her thighs Principle upheld became pleasure forbidden Her first time was another time for him Time passed by days and months Since Mary had her taste for lust When her snow white was tainted with dirt She fell sick, Jack found other girls to flirt Then Mary got the news she had to expect Mary was pregnant, Jack would give a threat He asked first "Is it even me?" She said "who else could it be?" Suddenly, Jack turned cold and dreary As he told her to get it buried Mary said "you'll have to **** me first" Jack said, "Don't tempt me, You might regret" And then she had an upstanding in place As a preacher's daughter, Daddy would be disgraced So mary had to make a decision A single mother life was never her ambition Did she have the right to do this wrong? And take the life of one barely young? Yet she found herself in a clinic The doctor promised it would be quick Tears fell as she stood defeated All she had was a broken heart and a dead foetus Could she ever tell her parents? Could she ask the lord for penance? She wondered if she killed a him or her Daddy's girl would never be a mother Three days later, She wrote this letter And left it on her father's doorstep Before she hung herself to a premature death.
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