1.) When your mother tells you she wants to **** herself, you will have to force a fist down your throat to keep yourself from saying "me too".
2.) You will sit in shocked silence like the ocean as it waits for the storm to pass. The storm will not pass. It will always be there. It will uproot the foundations of your home. It will drown you in the crying of the skies.
3.) Her hands will shake like a series of earthquakes have been running through her veins. You will try not to resent her. You will fail.
4.) Her lower lip will tremble like a leaf swaying in the darkness. You will try not to resent her. You will fail.
5.) She will say "I want to be engulfed by the sea. I want to not be able to breathe". You will have to force a fist down your throat to keep yourself from saying "me too"
6.) Her eyes become headlights and you become the deer. You will want to run away. Don't run away.
7.) There will be days where you will miss the sound of nothing her arms can bring. There will be days where you will have to inject concrete into your own. There will be days where you will have to carry the weight of her broken spine and you will wonder how something so seemingly fragile can be so heavy. There will be days where you will have to be the strong one. But you are never the strong one.
8.) If you can't stop your tears from soaking your pillow, do not forget to flip it over. Do not let her the stains. Do not let her see your pain. Do not let her see how much this makes you want to bleed out from your eyes.
9.) She will say "I want to hang from the highest tree. I want to not be able to breathe". You will have to force a fist down your throat to keep yourself from saying "me too"
10.) These walls are a lot harder than you think and your knuckles are weaker than they look so please, don't try to punch holes into them. Take a camera and satisfy yourself with the emptiness of your own soul.
11.) Your brother will be screaming into the oblivion and you will be lying spread eagle on the floor of your bedroom. You will think of the mountain of ******** you have to face yourself. You will want to ignore him. You won't be able to. You will want to be selfish. Don't be selfish.
12.) The TV will only show reruns and the news will keep repeating itself. No matter how much you want to smash the screen and rip the paper into shreds, don't.
13.) There are lines connecting you to this to her to life to death to flying to falling to burning to choking on every word you wanted to say.
14.) When your mother tells you she wants to **** herself, you will have to force a fist down your throat to keep yourself from saying "me too".
15.) You will regret forcing a fist down your throat to keep yourself from saying "me too"
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 9:59 AM UTC
I see metaphors from broken hearts
and wish my heart would break into
something beautiful.
I spend my time making love to pen and paper
in hopes of producing
something acceptable.
I wait at my desk for hours,
crying and trying
to purge something useful out of me.
But no matter how hard I try,
no matter how much my fingers bleed
and my heart aches
I will never be a Poe, Hemingway or Dickinson.
I'm just a fragile little girl wearing her heart not on her sleeve but on paper.
Hoping,
praying,
that will be enough.
Nov 26, 2014
Nov 26, 2014 at 6:07 AM UTC
You may not have been birthed in the soil,
and granted,
you will not blossom
when spring melts winters wake
but inside of you
grows a thousand gardens
full of exploding stars.
You are of the earth
and your ashes
have been constructed with stardust,
and set free with the wind.
So you may not have a pretty face,
and your body may hold stories
of too many moonless nights alone.
But if you reach inside,
you will find a forest
for a ribcage
and a restless ocean heart.
So don't ever let anyone tell you
you are nothing.
You are a galaxy
holding a million different planets,
and my dear,
that is not nothing.
Oct 28, 2014
Oct 28, 2014 at 2:50 AM UTC