'DON'T GRAB MY APPLE DUMPLINGS
OR MY SWEET CHERRY TWIST.
YOU'RE A LEWD, CRUDE DESPICABLE DUDE
AND A FAT MISOGYNIST.'
"HEY, I'M A BIG STAR AND CAVIAR
WITH MELONS ARE DELICIOUS.
IF GIRLS WON'T TRY MY PUMPKIN PIE
THEY'RE LESBIAN AND MALICIOUS."
'YOU'VE GOT A NASTY HABIT
AND IT MUST BE OVERCOME.
THAT'S MY LUNCH BOX DON'T YOU GRAB IT!'
SAID THE DONNA TO THE DON.
"YES, I'M A BIG STAR AND I'VE COME FAR
YOUR RAMBUTAN LOOKS DELICIOUS.
IF YOU WON'T TRY MY PECAN PIE
YOU'RE PREMENSTRUAL AND CAPRICIOUS."
'FORBIDDEN FRUIT'S RESTRICTED
SO EXERCISE RESTRAINT,
OR I'LL GRAB YOUR WALNUT CLUSTERS HARD
AND YOU'LL TURN BLUE AND FAINT.'
(If you're a bit slow then see below
and follow this helpful strategy.
Simply substitute any mention of fruit
with words from 'Reproductive Anatomy').
Miriam Troth 2016
Sep 27, 2017
Sep 27, 2017 at 6:55 AM UTC
King Ahasuerus desires a mate
'One chooses Esther one thinks she's first rate.'
Later he's soppy and showers her with kisses
Then honours his promise and makes her his missis.
Haman gets an earful ; the King's in a strop.
'You're history you hear us. You're for the big chop.'
'Oi, Haman, I'll miss you
Just Like a used tissue!'
Mordecai's very cheerful
Though once he was fearful
'Oy vey, I'm relieved
The Jews are reprieved'
Jeer and boo with a passion
Nibble hamantashen
(Poppyseeds are the filler)
That's the gansa megillah
Miriam Troth 2016
Mar 12, 2017
Mar 12, 2017 at 7:06 AM UTC
Humpty Trumpty yearned for a wall
He needed it strong and free to install
'It's gotta be huge like the size of my *****
And clearly discerned from the far side of Venus'
Peligro, Mexico, mind his massive ego
He ain't your mate nor your fondest amigo.
'I'll make 'em pay, so complete it real soon
And spacemen will marvel
When they stroll on the moon.
It's gonna be bigger and infinitely finer
Than The Pyramids, Machu Picchu
Or that crap wall in China'
Miriam Troth 2016
Feb 17, 2017
Feb 17, 2017 at 1:19 PM UTC