My own person is healthy and courageous. My own person is self-aware and emotionally intelligent. He is growth-oriented, resourceful and positive.
My own person is supportive, thoughtful, kind and empathetic. My own person is ready to take accountability, communicate and work through things even when the going gets rough.
My own person desires to make me happy, chooses me and shows up for me. He is sure about me and healthily obsessed with me. My own person encourages and lifts me up when I’m at a low point.
My own person does not disappear when I need him. My own person protects me. He knows how to introspect, reflect and has a desire to be better.
My own person does not make me feel small or irrelevant. My own person is a secure place where I can feel at home. My own person is expressive. He is a source of light when I am in a dark place.
My own person is as sure about me as the sun rises and sets without our asking, with certainty; regardless of the weather, timezone or location.
May 5, 2023
May 5, 2023 at 4:33 PM UTC
I honestly don't know why I'm still talking to you
And I honestly don't know why I'm entertaining you in my life.
I know for sure that I don't have despicable hatred for you
And I know for sure that I'm not head over heels in love with you.
We're just friends.
Sometimes I get bored and I don't mind company.
I'm just a bit worried for weird dynamics because there’s that weird tension.
Well, I think you are good looking.
But there's not much I can do about it
And honestly there's not much that I want to happen.
Because that side is stressful
And you don’t make it easier.
Feb 21, 2022
Feb 21, 2022 at 4:17 AM UTC
Dear papa,
you call me "daddy's girl" to the eyes of the world
and cut me off when I share my deep opinions
recycling your feel-good sources
your love is conditional
to how great I can make you feel
Dear mama,
you spell me out in your sour words
defining me with my shortcomings
you see your mistakes in me
calling me "a weak child with no guidance"
unaware that you have never shown real guidance
Dear lover,
you fail to show real emotions
to anything that is less than perfect
my imperfections threaten your ego
i am clearly invisible
fighting through your lack of empathy
Dear self,
you have been buried deep into your mind
obsessing over the ways your dearests have failed you
despite the unconditional love you give
It is time to start recognising how you have failed yourself
and fight for your own peace
May 26, 2018
May 26, 2018 at 4:44 AM UTC
Everything is fine
and everything is not
twelve hours
thats all it takes for this
merry-go-round to complete a trip
Now I am tired
Everywhere is calm
The toxins are taking over
Ethanol flowing through my veins
I can't make up a decent statement
It is finally over
I am weak
I can sleep
I feel peace
I hope I am stronger next time
May 25, 2018
May 25, 2018 at 3:51 AM UTC
Last week
I promised myself to practice self love
Wellness from inside out,
Why am I lying in bed?
Starving to death
Convincing myself I am not hungry
Last week
I promised myself to build hope
Think plans that make the future exciting,
Why do I not see past this moment?
Stuck in the present
Living each pain over and over again
Last week
I promised myself to have a little faith
To believe and trust in myself,
Why am I convinced that I am no good?
Weak and lazy
Waiting for the pain to go without trying
Last week
I ran a bath to slit my wrists
But the blade wasn't sharp enough.
I only scarred myself
Why is this feeling back
Without a sight of faith, hope or self love?
Apr 29, 2018
Apr 29, 2018 at 6:05 AM UTC
my life is tainted with toxicity
some, I can not run away from
others, I do not have the strength to
now, I just live each day at a time
not eager to see where this all leads
Apr 19, 2018
Apr 19, 2018 at 8:00 AM UTC
How do you see yourself from my eyes
my tall, dark and handsome lover
my strength when I am weak
the light that pulls me out of a sunken place
wouldn't it be beautiful if that was all there was
But you don't see the veins under your eyes
thirsty to unleash a rogue when teased
a rogue that demands the admiration it does not give
protecting its baby, your ego, with aggressive commands
showing no mercy for all in its way until fed and satisfied
I tease to ease the grim aura
so what happens when I am all thats in the way
stuck with the responsibility to nurture and feed the rogue
showering it with forceful respect and unwarranted apologies
a dynamic you validate and see no fault with
my history gives you confidence and insolence
to believe that I can handle a shove from a lover
because I have handled several fists from my brother
forgiving my trespasses and outbursts
to accommodate your impatient temper
An unstable pain stuck with with your thirsty ego
reminding myself that I deserve empathy and understanding
you are my tall dark handsome lover
but I have run out of the strength to nurture your baby
so I have to find the strength to walk away
Apr 17, 2018
Apr 17, 2018 at 4:11 AM UTC
it is easy to love
when you aren't loving yourself
so many flaws that can't be overlooked
in the pursuit of being and doing better
love that ends up emptied into another soul
the undermined power of this little factor
is all that's needed
to set boundaries
to find a voice
to build happiness
and hope for the future
a power that is easily savoured
and easy to get lost in its pursuit
a pursuit that can turn into a wander
with a deep compassionate soul
a self taught power
that has to be taken not gifted
free and important
but hard to master
Apr 13, 2018
Apr 13, 2018 at 1:01 PM UTC
wandering is beautiful
when rambled untroubled
I wandered into your arms
You anchored me with your love
reminded me of the need for a pursuit
You are beautiful
I lose myself in you
I open up my mind to you
I let my soul mate with yours
We are soulmates, its beautiful
I share my darkest thoughts and desires
This insight gives you the power I don't have
The power to love me for my flaws
a power I am yet to master
you are stronger
Now I run to you
To tell me how to feel
and interpret the jumbled mess
I can't comprehend in this head of mine
But there is only so much you can do
Now I am furious
irritated and hostile, cold to you
for not showing me the compassion
that I should have shown myself
in the first place
Apr 9, 2018
Apr 9, 2018 at 7:01 AM UTC
I take the first sip
then take a deep breath
A sigh of relief
Reassurance of my comfort zone
My head is quiet
I feel alive
I feel everything
Everything feels great
It's a few sips later
I feel a pain, the pain
Just under my right breast
I am killing myself and I can't stop it
Apr 6, 2018
Apr 6, 2018 at 2:44 PM UTC