My own person is healthy and courageous. My own person is self-aware and emotionally intelligent. He is growth-oriented, resourceful and positive.
My own person is supportive, thoughtful, kind and empathetic. My own person is ready to take accountability, communicate and work through things even when the going gets rough.
My own person desires to make me happy, chooses me and shows up for me. He is sure about me and healthily obsessed with me. My own person encourages and lifts me up when I’m at a low point.
My own person does not disappear when I need him. My own person protects me. He knows how to introspect, reflect and has a desire to be better.
My own person does not make me feel small or irrelevant. My own person is a secure place where I can feel at home. My own person is expressive. He is a source of light when I am in a dark place.
My own person is as sure about me as the sun rises and sets without our asking, with certainty; regardless of the weather, timezone or location.
May 5, 2023
May 5, 2023 at 4:33 PM UTC
I honestly don't know why I'm still talking to you
And I honestly don't know why I'm entertaining you in my life.
I know for sure that I don't have despicable hatred for you
And I know for sure that I'm not head over heels in love with you.
We're just friends.
Sometimes I get bored and I don't mind company.
I'm just a bit worried for weird dynamics because there’s that weird tension.
Well, I think you are good looking.
But there's not much I can do about it
And honestly there's not much that I want to happen.
Because that side is stressful
And you don’t make it easier.
Feb 21, 2022
Feb 21, 2022 at 4:17 AM UTC
Dear papa,
you call me "daddy's girl" to the eyes of the world
and cut me off when I share my deep opinions
recycling your feel-good sources
your love is conditional
to how great I can make you feel
Dear mama,
you spell me out in your sour words
defining me with my shortcomings
you see your mistakes in me
calling me "a weak child with no guidance"
unaware that you have never shown real guidance
Dear lover,
you fail to show real emotions
to anything that is less than perfect
my imperfections threaten your ego
i am clearly invisible
fighting through your lack of empathy
Dear self,
you have been buried deep into your mind
obsessing over the ways your dearests have failed you
despite the unconditional love you give
It is time to start recognising how you have failed yourself
and fight for your own peace
May 26, 2018
May 26, 2018 at 4:44 AM UTC
Everything is fine
and everything is not
twelve hours
thats all it takes for this
merry-go-round to complete a trip
Now I am tired
Everywhere is calm
The toxins are taking over
Ethanol flowing through my veins
I can't make up a decent statement
It is finally over
I am weak
I can sleep
I feel peace
I hope I am stronger next time
May 25, 2018
May 25, 2018 at 3:51 AM UTC
If I could love
the limping
ugly
afraid
part of me
That I drag through the mud
and thorns
If I could let
the transparent
clawing
screaming
silhouette speak
Instead of kicking it
into the basement
If I could put
my deepest human essence
onto paper
for everyone to see
Then.
Then, I could be free.
Apr 29, 2018
Apr 29, 2018 at 6:06 AM UTC
Last week
I promised myself to practice self love
Wellness from inside out,
Why am I lying in bed?
Starving to death
Convincing myself I am not hungry
Last week
I promised myself to build hope
Think plans that make the future exciting,
Why do I not see past this moment?
Stuck in the present
Living each pain over and over again
Last week
I promised myself to have a little faith
To believe and trust in myself,
Why am I convinced that I am no good?
Weak and lazy
Waiting for the pain to go without trying
Last week
I ran a bath to slit my wrists
But the blade wasn't sharp enough.
I only scarred myself
Why is this feeling back
Without a sight of faith, hope or self love?
Apr 29, 2018
Apr 29, 2018 at 6:05 AM UTC
my life is tainted with toxicity
some, I can not run away from
others, I do not have the strength to
now, I just live each day at a time
not eager to see where this all leads
Apr 19, 2018
Apr 19, 2018 at 8:00 AM UTC
If you were feeling like it was so right,
Then you most probably ignored the wrong.
If you have never had to have a fight,
Then you kept anger in to get along.
If you have never cried like this before,
Then you had never opened up your heart.
If you think none will love you anymore,
Then you should know that now is when you start.
If you’re alone unable to explain,
Then you are stuck in someone else’s head.
If you think that despair is part of pain,
Then you should love somebody good instead.
The man you loved before was fraudulent.
A worthy man won’t hurt you with intent.
Apr 17, 2018
Apr 17, 2018 at 4:20 AM UTC
How do you see yourself from my eyes
my tall, dark and handsome lover
my strength when I am weak
the light that pulls me out of a sunken place
wouldn't it be beautiful if that was all there was
But you don't see the veins under your eyes
thirsty to unleash a rogue when teased
a rogue that demands the admiration it does not give
protecting its baby, your ego, with aggressive commands
showing no mercy for all in its way until fed and satisfied
I tease to ease the grim aura
so what happens when I am all thats in the way
stuck with the responsibility to nurture and feed the rogue
showering it with forceful respect and unwarranted apologies
a dynamic you validate and see no fault with
my history gives you confidence and insolence
to believe that I can handle a shove from a lover
because I have handled several fists from my brother
forgiving my trespasses and outbursts
to accommodate your impatient temper
An unstable pain stuck with with your thirsty ego
reminding myself that I deserve empathy and understanding
you are my tall dark handsome lover
but I have run out of the strength to nurture your baby
so I have to find the strength to walk away
Apr 17, 2018
Apr 17, 2018 at 4:11 AM UTC
Maybe it's the alcohol
Running through my veins
Seeping through all of my pores
Invading my skin, crawling,
Leaving a trail of heat and numbness.
Maybe it's my mind
Trying to twist myself into
A wringing mess, unconscious,
Undesirable for the current society
Whose words weigh millions.
Or maybe it's just me.
Overthinking, in a dark room.
Laying there, paralyzed.
Contemplating. Typing. Thinking.
Tap,
tap,
tap.
I'm tired.
Apr 13, 2018
Apr 13, 2018 at 1:09 PM UTC