can you say how you feel?
to shake the head imperceptibly.
please, do not step back.
the zero in the middle of cards.
her hands are trembling, so typical.
*i can feel this buzz of colors, like
a crowd in an impressionist painting,
you know what i mean?*
same old story.
don’t move.
who’s there?
it’s been a while.
blots of pure color and no identity.
is there anything wrong with what i said?
i turn off the light and dark makes this room smaller.
it’s always a matter of faith.
who are you?
someone in the shadows nods, then sighs and
smiles, full of benevolence.
even smaller.
i need comfort.
you understand when you don’t have to and
you don’t understand anything anyway.
hold the half-moon in the center of your palm.
even more suffocating.
you have all these things to give me and
you keep them all behind you.
same old words.
you never stretch your hands to give them to me.
i say: shreds. what do you think of?
forgive me.
i have never learnt.
i think of the mind.
they go rotten, useless.
i’m sorry.
turn the palm into a treasure chest.
but light makes a sound, right?
you wait so long they become useless.
breathe, you’ll be alright.
to swing, harmonizing the blink of an eye.
i have never learnt, i do my best.
the mind.
you have never listened.
feeling pain, like letting air in.
it doesn’t matter.
i didn’t have to know, see, do.
between myself and i.
to breathe out.
in the absence of friction.
Jan 22, 2017
Jan 22, 2017 at 1:51 PM UTC
it’s raining and i stand
watching the walls melt down
dripping
like make-up from tears
the throat is a canyon
burnt by the wind
the window is closed
it has iron bars
why does there have to be
just one place
just one?
all that is given
should never
ever
be taken back
artificial losses
display cabinets
it’s too late, don’t you see?
abre los ojos
but you have opened them
you are just taking revenge
you just want to
reclaim something
a guarantee
that it’s worthwhile
you must have told yourself
i hope you are happy with the leftovers
corrosion
crying
for me, not for you
never for you
who take no notice
of the lines i trace
with chalk
and chase me
and take me for granted
and are blind
and want to lock me in
and while you advance
you lose
inviting me to escape
i watch the walls
getting closer
i watch her
erasing them
i watch me
inside the walls
disappearing
May 25, 2014
May 25, 2014 at 11:17 PM UTC
And it’s not me yet
The one I challenged
In the night of the war
When the sun was
Fluctuating narcotized
And the moon was
Looking away
And I haven’t been
Myself anymore once
That I saw what’s invisible
To the meddlers’
Eyelashes
And there was only me
There was only me
To defend the blood
To beat the blood
And it’s not me
To hit replay
It’s not me with the remote control
But a crazy vagabond
An unaware vagabond
Who wiggles
And turns it on
By jumping
May 22, 2014
May 22, 2014 at 8:49 PM UTC
annie has cut out herself.
(annie has cut a shape for herself out of a sheet of plywood)
annie shelters herself.
(annie is blocking her thoughts out by making use of her skinny forearms)
annie has lost her hands.
(annie is not simply an amputee, she’s also in a deep coma)
annie identifies herself with the ceiling.
(annie is out of the world of the living things)
annie doesn’t feel the rain.
(annie doesn’t feel anything anymore)
annie is under a scrap of cloth.
(annie only sees blots of dripping paint)
annie ended up in a gap.
(annie ended)
annie has stopped counting.
(annie has changed the order of the numbers, randomly)
annie has stopped subsisting.
(annie now needs a thinking subject, to think of herself)
annie doesn’t constitute a movement.
(annie moves by gracious permission of the force of inertia)
annie only perceives the force of gravity.
(annie adheres to the pavement)
annie can’t remember her latest smart thought.
May 21, 2014
May 21, 2014 at 11:04 PM UTC
Don’t give me what I want.
Give me what I need.
Never surprise me.
Don’t give me more than what I’m expecting.
Just the minimum required not to make me walk away.
Don’t worry: I’m expecting very little.
Keep me waiting.
Don’t forget to switch the light off when you’re gone.
Make sure I’m left in the darkness and in a cold corner.
Tell me everything about the way you feel.
In details.
Make sure I know all about the pain you feel for someone else.
No matter how deep it cuts me, I’m tough.
Please give me a chance to comfort you and make it better.
Let me heal your wounds.
I know you’re alone and you can only rely on me.
For God’s sake, never make me your priority.
Never put me in the center of your world.
We both know who’s the center of your world.
Never change this.
Don’t give me what I want.
Give me what I need to stay in this.
Never surprise me.
Make me feel that I’m invisible to you,
But please
Make sure I survive through this,
Keep me alive
Because you need me.
You especially need me when you’re alone.
Make sure I realize
That I only exist
Because you are heartbroken.
That you called me in your world just to comfort you.
Keep repeating how amazing I am.
I’m your best friend and your nurse.
I’m your guardian angel.
I wouldn’t even be here if you weren’t damaged.
But keep saying that I’m your love,
Keep saying that I’m your girlfriend.
Feel free to use me,
I’m at your disposal
Because I love you.
Give me little in return,
Just the minimum required not to make me walk away.
Keep me hidden in your shadows.
Never show me to the world.
Stay blind to my feelings for you,
Keep thinking that I’m dying ’cause of something else.
Take good care of me when I’m drowning in despair.
Make sure nothing affects my ability to heal you.
Go along with my little wishes.
Never propose something we could do together.
But keep saying yes to whatever I’d like to do with you.
Make sure I feel that you’re only aiming to please me.
Keep me chained to your own chains.
Never let me go.
Lie to me.
Say that your heart is split in two.
Better not to talk about proportions.
Poison me.
Love me when you fear that I’m walking away.
You’re so much sweeter when you’re feeling guilty.
Cut me to the bone.
But never run out of bandages.
Smile softly as you’re repairing the damage you created.
Kiss my fresh wounds.
Keep repeating that you love me.
But never show me love.
Complicate me.
Love me when nobody is around.
But don’t be around when I’m only there for you.
Keep reminding me that you don’t want me,
Never say this openly.
Make sure I understand that you only need me.
Keep repeating that you adore me.
Don’t give yourself to me,
But make sure I think you do.
Keep saving yourself for the one you truly love.
Never treat me bad.
Never abuse me.
Just give the minimum required
Not to make me walk away.
Give me the key to open this cage
But make sure I don’t even wish to leave.
Make sure that I think I’m yours.
Make sure that I’m terrified of losing you.
Marry me if it’s necessary.
Do to me what’s been done to you.
Apr 26, 2014
Apr 26, 2014 at 10:11 PM UTC
London is a name fixed in the yellow of a post-it
Thinking of Thames pushes the gaze
Somewhere else
In my case to the left, upwards
Acting cool
It’s where I stretch my fingers, where I
Hang on to the linen
[Of memories]
London is my ear lobe that keeps bleeding
Cotton wool pressed by my fingers and
The smell of lime in this room
Tracks of piercings I have never seen
The trail of a scar for you to lick
Of London thinks
My hair that is much too long
London is “Tell me about London that you can’t explain”
And “no more queue to know about Jack?”
A worn out pendant that makes my teeth chatter
But I stand still, you say:
“To a spirit like yours”
Then London
Is squares too narrow
You and I walking, I kissing you
And “I can’t keep you inside here anymore”
And “Maybe I know why I’m so sad”
And “What is that you fear?”
I fear
Of wishing
So if I am London, you
Are Piccadilly and Soho glimpsed from a postcard
The blazing colors, grey prevailing
Rain varnishing the double-deckers
I, saying: “When I’m with you, snow is all around”
“Is it a bad thing?”
“No, it’s not”
And again London catches me sighing
I always hear doors closing
I still feel throats slashed
And “I feel my things are mute on the ground”
And you say: “How small can you be?”
As the doll
Of a doll
Apr 26, 2014
Apr 26, 2014 at 1:22 PM UTC
(0001) I saw you passing by
Hiding behind a window
I was happy to see you
You weren’t there for me
(0002) Like a lamp in
Full daylight
I was unseen
Now I had to make
Your sky darker
For you to find me again
(0003) My nerves were shot
I didn’t know what to do
With you anymore
(0004) More and more transparent
(0005) You thought that since you had built me
You could now fully dismantle me
(0006) You are growing thorns
(0007) Do not speak
(0008) You taste like plastic &
It’s getting darker
(0009) I’ve been exiled
(0010) Consuming is the process
Of pouring words into you
Letters sliding along the smooth
Surface of the glass that you
Have become; letters
Slowly reach the ground
& Form a small puddle
(0011) You are an answering machine
I am starting to miss the point
(0012) You managed to eradicate me from myself
(0013) I trusted you in the process
(0014) Seeding; filling every single vein of mine with
(0015) You
Are everywhere
(0016) Am I running out of bandages?
(0017) Your words hang from these walls
Like painted phantoms
(0018) Do I still exist?
What have you done to me?
(0019) You are one step away & I can’t move
(0020) You forced me to observe as you unravelled it all
(0021) Feeling uncomfortable inside this wound
(0022) Please stop hiding bombs in every flower you give me
(0023) You keep playing hide & seek
(0024) Your eyes are white and empty as you
Laugh & run - I see you:
Everything is in your hands and
You are always so scared
(0025) I can invest my time better
(0026) Throwing myself in the mastodontic process
Of surgically removing you from my ******* existence
(0027) Whoever said ghosts do not change
Never witnessed the evolution of mine
Apr 23, 2014
Apr 23, 2014 at 6:41 PM UTC
a contradiction contracted in
lowest terms are
you.
[it’s metal edges]
your beauty is
of
a
garden
(suspended at mid-
clouds), to enter
and
to say
that in such a
variety of
flowers
there
can not
be
one that
attracts
you
to pick it
to dismantle it
and
to
neglect
the
rest.
[it’s plasticized segments]
you know how to
quickly imprint
yourself
on me
when
you laugh
at times
and
conversely
you weep
and
you are like
those skies
that shake me
to my core
when
they are
blinding
on one hand
and
violently bleak
on the other
so
clearly
fractured
they shake
me pierce
me
pierced
i am
by
you.
[it’s just thinned points]
imagine if
a chameleon
started
to
acquire
each
gradation
of
another
creature
in the form
already
similar
to
it:
where
could
he
ever
escape?
[it’s inconstant semicircles]
(i can not
delineate
you
it is like
sketching
a tidal
wave
nobody
can:
painters
invent them)
[and it’s shoved arches]
i’ll tell you
of
a
woman
her soul
shattered
and
subsequently
imprisoned
splinter by
splinter
in hail
stones
she
fell
and
she felt
herself
crashing
at the same
instant
millions
of times
however
she
never
went
insane.
[it’s torn curves]
(and I know well
how a continuity
interrupted
succeeds
to make
you
fumble
convulsively
but it’s not
enough
for me to
restrain
myself
don’t
ask
me
to)
[it’s petrified vertical axes]
what i see
is
a cross
section of
enclosure
handfuls with
disconcerting
efficiency
consisting
of prisms
and
you know how to decompose
yourself inside
an innocence
delimited
you proceed
by inconstancies
you lacerate
metabolizing
you struggle
silencing
and
i could
only
teach you
one thing:
gray is not
a faded
version
of
black.
Dec 19, 2013
Dec 19, 2013 at 9:04 PM UTC
Stranger
Sometimes I think I
Want you so bad that even if I was
Never capable to call you mine, it would
Still be Ok; because wanting you is the
Sweetest torture one could ever
Imagine, in fact it is: out of
Imagination, far from control and
Absolute like a blaze in
A cold winter night.
Stranger, I have built so many
Labyrinths of letters just for your
Pleasure, and you have always
Followed me there because
There’s nothing in this world you
Love more than losing yourself
However: what you
Don’t see is that
Words are my
Hiding place
And it is by
Following my
Trail of letters that
You’ll never be
Able to find
Me, so:
stop
it.
Come
And seal
My lips with a kiss
Find me, so I will stop
Running away from your ways
Because this time I want you
To lose yourself under my
Skin, deep inside
My body.
Stranger, let my fingers
Trace new fables
Over your spine
Let my hands
Reveal my secrets
Let my eyes build more
Castles than my words will ever
Do, because my body is my
Finding place and
This time
I want you
To finally
Reach
Me.
Dec 1, 2013
Dec 1, 2013 at 10:44 AM UTC
The city was turning
Into a mirror.
You were trying to move as little as possible
Fearing variations more than anything.
The essential — now —
Consisted in not disturbing.
The cold was eating your legs, your cheeks
You were calm and wanted to go away
What was left to hold you back?
Your heart was burning and nightmares were
Surrounding your hair.
You were looking down, looking
For your own ankles
You were paying attention to the echoes,
Searching for
Someone who would grab your arm
You only wanted to hear a no
— and it was not coming.
You were hoping for some
It’s not true
— and it was not coming.
The dart had been shot
Punctual and similar to bees
Poison
It was getting you sick
You were struggling to survive
While hoping, however, to die of it.
It would have never killed you.
The smell of flowers was vanishing,
The city had turned into a mirror.
Now you could only cover your eyes.
Nov 25, 2013
Nov 25, 2013 at 11:01 AM UTC