It’s okay that you never put me first
Because I will
It’s okay that you never let go
Because I will
Someday you’ll be someone that I once knew
Someone who someday might become someone that’s worth it to know
But I will never
Know that it could have been great
You and me; imagine that
For now; it’s been too late
I was worth it, you know
You held onto your pride and me; you let go
It’s okay, though
I forgive you
And maybe someday
Even today
I’ll miss you
Oct 7, 2019
Oct 7, 2019 at 11:31 PM UTC
That's how I remember it
It was self destructive
It was a problem
I was problem
That's how I remember it
I never meant to
I never wanted to
I hurt you
That wasn't how it was supposed to happen
That's not how I wanted it to go down
But that's how I remember it
Uncanny how it fell into place
But I still recall
The look on you face
I wish I couldn't remember it
To forget is to insult
To shed responsibility
To own up to my mistakes
Is to establish nobility
Feb 22, 2019
Feb 22, 2019 at 3:18 PM UTC
It’s always another day
Always another season
Always another year
I still feel the way i felt
I’m still unclear
About how it all went down
How it all crashed and burnt without a sound
Feb 13, 2018
Feb 13, 2018 at 3:40 PM UTC
I swear to god I'm sorry
My heart breaks to the sound of yours
I'll remember you in 2 months
I'll miss you in 20 years
I know it sounds as if I'm martyring myself
I know it doesn't matter that I shed a tear
You're more broken than I
But my dear, you'll repair stronger than I
Be a better person than I
Theres always a downward spiral
Until you hit the ground and put yourself back on your feet
I'll always love you
As much as you don't understand
You were my best friend, my lover, my confidant, my world, my future husband, my future father to my children
I'm sorry things ended this way
Eight years not wasted, but held dear
I'm sure you'll find another
Who will always cherish you
See your worth
I hope the best for you
It's what you deserve
He might not love me
He might not care that I long for him
But to sit there and pretend it's only you on my mind
Dear, it's such a sin
I'll be in the past
Wondering what could've been
What would've become of us
If I hadn't fallen for him
Nov 16, 2016
Nov 16, 2016 at 9:37 PM UTC
I wanted you to notice how I felt
So I destroyed myself
To put myself back together
To turn into somebody you’d like
Aug 27, 2016
Aug 27, 2016 at 12:11 PM UTC
My friends have friends
Friends they turn to
Friends that turn to them
My friends have a best friend
Friends that hang out all night
Friends that laugh until their last breath
My friends have friends
So where does that leave me?
*Lonely and empty
Envious and yearning
Jealousy churning*
My friends have friends
My friends dont need me
Jul 8, 2016
Jul 8, 2016 at 11:18 PM UTC
Try as I might, I cannot refer to you with anyother title
For you had unfortunately raised me
You stood there
Unaware, as my childhood grazed me
I never saw it coming
You never asked for me
I never wanted this to happen
For you to cry over me
I thought you'd be glad
You got what you wanted
Me out of your life
But like a ghost I still haunted
Your memories of regret
Your memories of pride
All those nights crying
We shamelessly lie
I'm sorry you find your sanity in a bottle of wine
I'm sorry I find mine in a bottle that was prescribed
We both need our peace
We both need our distance
If it helps you to know
I'd love you to listen
About how I still care, deep in my heart
I'm sorry that our minds
Tore us apart
Jun 30, 2016
Jun 30, 2016 at 5:27 PM UTC
With everything I do
I will have the doubt in my mind
That the things I am doing
Are just to fill time
My empty accomplishments
My empty wall of fame
My empty heart beating
My empty full name
I lie awake tired
I lie here distressed
I lie here, my mind racing
My whole life a mess
I'm counting the hours
I'm counting the days
Until I can give up
This timeless charade
Dear god I'm not happy
Dear god I'm a fraud
Dear god are you listening?
Dear god, I've wrote you all along
When will this be over?
When will I feel full?
When will my life become everything everyone said it would?
When will I feel sure?
Dear god if you're listening
Dear god hear my plea
Dear god I'm begging you
Why won't you answer me?
Mar 31, 2016
Mar 31, 2016 at 2:04 AM UTC
I know how much you never wanted me
You don't know that I know
Or maybe you do and that's why you're so distant
As much as I want to I could never fix it
It hurts to think that you favor them more
That they're yours and pure, through marriage even more
I was a surprise, a mistake; unexpected
21 years later, a relationship formed and weary
Straining and wearing thin
Maybe I'll never know what it's like to be close
Maybe I'll never see what a healthy relationship is
You'll always be a hero to me
I'll always be your greatest sin
Mar 15, 2016
Mar 15, 2016 at 1:10 AM UTC
It came down
Like a tidal wave
Grasping towards the surface
I couldn't reach
Here I was
On the train
Hiding my face so patrons couldn't see
I was weak
I was alone
I was tired
I was bleak
I was me
He wanted to know what was wrong
Why the tears
I told him
"It's been like this, like this for years"
I say "I hate my life" at least twice a day
"I always hope it's jokingly" I say
But it isn't
I mean it, it's meant for every second
My family is aloof
My friends are in the past
Where I can't reach them
I wear their memories like a cast
"I gave my all" I exclaimed
All is what they took
They left what they gained
My life's heading nowhere
And it's getting there fast
21 years old
And all I can focus on is my past
Where am I going?
Why am I doing all of this?
I wish I knew
I wouldn't be ashamed to exist
One life to live
And this is how I'm living mine?
Time is all I've got
And I've got none at the same time
If it's all the same
I don't want to **** myself
I don't want to die
But what's the point of living
If you're dead inside?
Mar 14, 2016
Mar 14, 2016 at 10:27 PM UTC