You are not supposed to feel alone when you are in a relationship. I can't get over the fact that you are so far away and I am dealing with everything by myself when you are supposed to be there for me. Why am I not good enough for you? Why do I feel inadequate? Why do you just leave without a word? Something is not right and maybe it is this relationship, maybe we are not meant to be, maybe you are not the love of my life, cause the love of my life would be there no matter what.
Or maybe I am just overthinking like I always do. Yeah that is probably it...
Nov 1, 2015
Nov 1, 2015 at 8:37 PM UTC
i didn't know that losing sleep meant losing you too.
how could the hours upon hours i spent sleep deprived, bleary eyed, drunk off your opulent words, mean so little?
were the words you said just a myth?
just lies escaping your lips?
all the evening stars leading to a early morning sunrise, did they mean nothing?
why is it that your words were more comfortable than my bed?
why is the thought of not talking to you far more fear inducing than the test i have early in the morning that i did not study for?
the bags under my eyes,
the slowness of my step,
the drop of my head on my desk,
all worth it.
every second speaking to you was a gift.
and then you were gone.
and i thought that i could finally sleep again.
except that's the funny thing,
i'm not.
even now i'm still losing sleep over you,
even now?
there are tears on my pillow.
even now?
the words that used to rock my world make me terrified of the goodbyes just as we started our hellos.
and now,
callous in passing we remain.
Nov 1, 2015
Nov 1, 2015 at 6:57 PM UTC
Love is not having your life or revolve around someone. Love is the feeling you get talking on the phone with him laughing at one of his incredibly bad jokes. Love is the way he looks at you while you are lying in the grass falling asleep next to him. Love is the way he loves your body and curves and tells you this just so you know that you are beautiful. Love is the way his skin feels against yours knowing that you could take things further but not doing it cause right now feel perfect just the way it is. Love is the way tears come to your eyes while kissing him before he leaves to go to college. Love is not driving fast anymore because he has convinced you that someone loves you and that life is worth living without even saying those words. Love is wanting to be better for him because you know deep down that you do not deserve someone this special and amazing in your life.
He is love, he who knows when to tell you he loves you, he who wipes away your tears telling you it will all be okay and kissing you to make you feel better. He is perfect to you in every way, even the goofy way he eats.
No love is not your whole life revolving around someone. Love is accepting a person into your life and letting them see you the way you really are. Love is letting someone become your world just so that you can protect them with everything you have and give them everything they could ask for.
Sep 1, 2015
Sep 1, 2015 at 9:58 PM UTC
I want to compose fear.
I want to put the feeling into words.
into thoughts.
into emotions.
I want the readers to know what it's like.
I want them to feel their hearts drop from their bony cages.
like a plane into concrete.
like the tears of your father.
Aug 10, 2015
Aug 10, 2015 at 1:27 AM UTC
Maybe I like house renovations so much because the thought of someone taking disasters and making them beautiful gives me hope that someday someone will do the same for me.
Aug 1, 2015
Aug 1, 2015 at 2:48 AM UTC
they said i built walls
and maybe they're right
i'm scared of the world
and the people it hides
these mountains of brick
stretch up to the clouds
and i'm all alone
but i can't get out
I hear them outside
they try to get through
these walls like a foretress
are holding so true
im alone and afraid
of the people out there
im afraid of myself
im afraid of myself
if lying's a sin
then i am no priest
i tell them i love them
to give them some peace
but i don't really care
if they stay or they go
they're outside my walls
lost in the flow
you came to the wall
like everyone else
another lost soul
outside of my cell
i stared at the ground
without lifting an eye
your hand on my face...
...you were inside
you broke through my cage
like it wasn't there
and all in one instant
i wasn't so scared
you sat down beside me
your story you told
with you beside me
i wasn't so cold
you've lifted me up
so I can stand tall
you showed me true love
here in these four walls.
nowyouregone
thewallshavecrumbled
andiamcrushed
May 27, 2015
May 27, 2015 at 11:51 AM UTC
The smell of cigarettes permanently stains your hair and fingers only masked by the fading scent of some too girly lotion made for girls who spend their time worrying about their looks and what the other *** thinks about them rather than living. The smell of secondhand smoke lingers around like the memory of bad fathers and horrible past lovers. Maybe that's the reason why you smoke. Maybe you are trying to burn away the feelings and love because his feelings went away as quickly as that stick of tobacco on fire does.
May 19, 2015
May 19, 2015 at 6:13 PM UTC
There's something beautiful
about sadness
and how there are no words
for the depth that you feel.
I never knew emptiness was a feeling and that loving someone
could be so **** painful.
I used to cry at
scraped knees and broken toys
but now I cry at
bruised hearts and void souls.
How can I heal
when you were my only antidote
May 11, 2015
May 11, 2015 at 3:36 AM UTC
In my three years of high school I have encountered several kinds of boys, all of which I have fallen for in some shape or form. And I feel I have them figured out for the most part.
First you have the broken boys who make you feel in touch with your emotions and mind. They make you realize that yes you may be the sunniest person ever but every day comes with night.
Then you have the best friend. He's the one who has been with you through everything. He makes you feel special and happy. But alas when you try to date he treats you like crap cause he knows you will stay.
You have the "misunderstood" popular guy who likes to sneak out of class just so he can steal a kiss from you before you leave. But randomly stops talking to you the minute a more attractive less clumsy and awkward girl comes around.
Then there is the class clown, the nerd, the **** the cowboy, and all the other basic highschool stereotypes that no one really cares to talk about or even pay attention to so why talk about it right now. We will save them for another time.
Then there is the kind boy who lends you his books. He will always be your crush that you will never have a chance with. He is intelligent and kind and also hilarious but of course he is popular and out of your league. He is the kind of boy who has an answer to every question. He is the kind of person you could talk to about anything, whether it be music or dogs. He is the guy who makes you say dumb things and makes you nervous just thinking about talking to him. He makes you wonder hours after you talk whether or not your face turned completely red when you two were speaking. But of course he is out of your league completely.
Maybe in my final year of high school I will meet a guy who blows this all out of the water. Or maybe the smart boy who sits next to me in English will actually see me. But either way every guy I have and will meet is worth the pain they bring because they leave great lessons and memories.
May 11, 2015
May 11, 2015 at 2:18 AM UTC
The universe is in constant equilibrium,
This much is basic.
But most fail to see it in the dark corners of humanity.
They fail to notice that there is a sigh of relief for every gasp of horror, as if the air goes from one pair of lungs to the other.
We reject the idea that for every happily ever after, there is a pair of broken hearts, as we'd rather stay where we are than move to where we need to be.
We fail to see that we need as many dreamers to see the possibilities as doers to make them reality.
Without one, the other cannot exist
May 11, 2015
May 11, 2015 at 2:02 AM UTC