I want to compose fear.
I want to put the feeling into words.
into thoughts.
into emotions.
I want the readers to know what it's like.
I want them to feel their hearts drop from their bony cages.
like a plane into concrete.
like the tears of your father.
Aug 2, 2015
Aug 2, 2015 at 11:19 PM UTC
I saw myself falling and falling
Getting hung up on every little tree branch
Every bump in the road
And I realized it was time to cut the excess
I drew my knife and sliced at all that was holding me back
feeling the sinew tear at the blade
I lightened my load to the bare bones and ran
I ran towards all that I dreamt of
I have never needed all those things holding me back
I needed myself
The security blankets wrapped so heavily around me were nothing but
The security I needed is in my mind
Aug 2, 2015
Aug 2, 2015 at 1:42 AM UTC
He said, "It must be nice, to sleep in and nap all day"
He said, "I'd like to try it some time"
And in my head the monologue began:
"It's all that I'm good for"
"It's all I can do without ******** it all up"
"But even that's a lie"
"Because I can't even sleep anymore"
She said, "What's bothering you"
I let out a 'nothing is bothering me'
And it was true.
She said, "If you need to talk you know we're here"
And I thought, "I wish it were something I could do"
Aug 2, 2015
Aug 2, 2015 at 1:36 AM UTC
Maybe I like house renovations so much because the thought of someone taking disasters and making them beautiful gives me hope that someday someone will do the same for me.
Aug 2, 2015
Aug 2, 2015 at 1:27 AM UTC
"I SAW ALL THE PEOPLE I SUNK ALL MY TIME INTO AND HOW HAPPY THEY WERE WHEN THEY'D WALK AWAY AND I DECIDED MAYBE I WANTED TO BE HAPPY TOO"
"BUT NOW IM ALL ALONE AND USELESS BECAUSE I DECIDED TO STICK UP FOR MYSELF AND STOP BEING USED"
May 22, 2015
May 22, 2015 at 1:05 AM UTC
~As the car crested the hill side drive at 10:03p.m. I witnessed lightning prance along the skyline like fawns and for a split second I lifted from my glazed over state and felt moved.
~Now it's Midnight all I can think of is you and how I might convince you to stay with me for a while and, Dear, quite frankly, I'm at a loss save this one particular idea.
~I may not be able to give you forever and I **** well won't promise it to you because we both know right now it's preposterous to say something so everlasting when our mortal bodies are so limited.
~But I can give you the nights together that we still have to experience.
~I can promise to never leave your side emotionally because, obviously, we're not as blessed as the lovers who live next door to each other thus being around each other physically is a plain challenge.
~As the looming shadow of a higher education chills me I know this much:
-there are hands to be held
-sweet nothings to be told
-and there are nights meant to be spent together.
~There is only one person I can stand to give my time to at this point and at the same time I'm dying to soak up all of theirs.
~And that person is you.
May 11, 2015
May 11, 2015 at 12:11 AM UTC
Explain why you do this to me.
Explain why I'm left with my heart racing.
Every time you leave me with a "darling"
I fall another hundred feet for you.
The way your eyes pierce with skepticism;
The way they soften in realization and lighten with your smile;
It will do my head in, I swear.
May 5, 2015
May 5, 2015 at 11:27 PM UTC
you told me that I resembled the battered, cracked baseboard
that ran along your concrete room
clearly suffering years of irrational abuse, and torment,
a foundational error maybe,
and chipped paint.
i can't say that I disagree.
but i can tell you that me and this baseboard share a lot in common
you see we both started out with a simple purpose,
sit still and do our job.
granted, my foundational friend had it slightly easier,
but only due to the that fact that you only kicked the baseboard accidentally;
in a drunken stumble or a game of indoor soccer.
I, on the other hand, was bruised and chipped away on purpose.
whether i said the wrong thing, or laughed too long, or wore the dress that you didn't like--
as if it mattered
you rattled my mangled bones with your lion heart and wanton ways,
my lips, red raw and quivering
you shook away any doubt of my worth
and smiled at the inflicted galaxies on my skin
you always saw yourself as a god
you watched the rustic liquid trickle down my thighs
from your own incisions
on my already scarred hips
and I almost felt beautiful
you ripped apart my innocence
and drowned out my screams with bad music with nasally singer and repetitive melodies
I thought I at least deserved better than ****** music
despite your absence I still sit
in concrete rooms
with cracked baseboards
and caving ceilings
because that's where I feel at home
among the broken and the abandoned,
among the walls that soaked up as many terror stories as me
among irreparable damage
and oddly enough i want to thank you
because now i have a home
within the vacancy
May 5, 2015
May 5, 2015 at 10:08 PM UTC
C: "._. I hate this"
A:"why?"
C:"It's like having to wear a coat that's several sizes too big and everyone can see how awkwardly you're standing there but you can't take off the coat because you know you'll freeze to death"
A:"hey but big coats are in fashion"
A:"it's all good"
C:"Even when the sleeves are hanging over your hands?"
A:"but it's okay bc you'd look great in that coat"
C:"But would I do that coat justice"
A:"yes"
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 11:05 PM UTC
I want the stars to whisper to me without words all the things they've seen and heard and follow me everywhere I go.
Little gossiping flickers all buzzing about my head.
When the stars are with me every step I take I'm never alone.
And if I can't see them through the fiery haze of the daylight I know they are still there, only unseen, and I'll be able to whisper endless conversations with them without uttering a single word when night falls back down like the curtains on an unrehearsed play.
I would wait through the longest melodrama like the protagonist whose soliloquy was left backstage with his courage knowing the stars are waiting to discuss all that has happened while we couldn't converse.
As they go on and on about how delightful you were at tea that day I'm so caught up in watching you sleep soundly, tucked in a blanket of black night air, that their babbling all becomes twinkling white noise.
My feet carry me toward your sleeping state on their own accord; my hands scattering the whispering stars like the brooms of cleaning housewives. I stand over you in awe and your sleeping eyes drift open to mine.
My eyes witness a new night sky flowing from yours and the existence that once held so tightly to the solid ground it found in the every-day night sky has taken flight into a new galaxy
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 10:53 PM UTC