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mariasmith
mariasmith
We don't touch For the risk of it being too much We don't feel For the risk of falling in love We don't admit For risk of looking stupid We hold defense Against all emotions We guards our hearts Against any devotion We cover our tracks Against our past notions And yet despite all sense, Us, shattered, and tattered Worn away by the senseless wind and ceaseless rain Unexplainably, If only temporarily, Fit.
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Jul 29, 2015
Jul 29, 2015 at 8:43 PM UTC
Fit
she feels so alone even with her family at home maybe that's why she loves books hey, at least she isn't a crook she feels connected to the words she wishes she could fly to them like a bird the characters have become her best friends they make her not want to reach the end they make her feel special she knows the feeling isn't artificial she wishes they could last forever reality's response to that is "never" there is a connection between the books and she from real life, they allow her to flee
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Jul 27, 2015
Jul 27, 2015 at 11:47 PM UTC
Books
she writes on her arm as a physical method to disarm she believes this way she can fix the problem she doesn't think she is awesome "the words will sink deeper" she tells herself she's putting the true conflict on a shelf the words she wrote are just material she doesn't know her true issue is spiritual she needs to look deep inside stop letting her demons hide they will destroy her slowly she won't know where her mind is going suffering on the inside is the worst one day soon, she is going to burst
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Jul 27, 2015
Jul 27, 2015 at 11:24 PM UTC
Writing
***i cried today because i looked in the mirror and didn't like what was looking back at me***
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Jul 27, 2015
Jul 27, 2015 at 11:12 PM UTC
,
Perhaps the reason I hate myself so much, is not because I am a horrible person.. but because I have given my love to everyone else and left none for myself..
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Jul 27, 2015
Jul 27, 2015 at 11:12 PM UTC
Self Hate
My eyes are black, My heart is cold, self-hatred is radiating from within my soul, the mirror reflects what i don't want to see i hate every single aspect about me from my abnormal eyes to my ugly, fat thighs see, i hate myself too probably even more than you.
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Jul 27, 2015
Jul 27, 2015 at 11:12 PM UTC
Self-hate
Sliver of silver moonlight beams. From the other side of the  window gleams. Shines so bright in this dark lit room. But I cant get out of this awful gloom. Heart aches and I feel it cracking. But I cant think of reasons for it to be happening. I hate myself and I'm so ******* sad. I'm no good at anything and it makes me mad. I cant make music, I'm an awful writer. I have no degree so I'm impossible to hire. I grew up never knowing what to do. With no interests, talents, or will to give clue. I'm stuck as an adult with what feels like no future. I'm stuck in my head and I feel like a loser. I don't know anything and I hate myself. Wish there was a way to escape this hell.
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Jul 27, 2015
Jul 27, 2015 at 11:11 PM UTC
Struggling with Self Hate Again
it's awful to pass a mirror and want to look away it seems my love for myself has gone astray I blame myself for everything I do even the rights don't hear a "woo!" "it's okay" you say but I know I messed up in some way my mind is twisted, I can't think straight my most dominant feeling is self-hate
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Jul 27, 2015
Jul 27, 2015 at 11:11 PM UTC
Messed Up