I'll fall asleep soon
and when I wake up tomorrow
I won't remember what I had for breakfast this morning
or how the aches in my feet felt
or the exact color of the grass on my old jeans
But when I wake up tomorrow
I will remember sharing breakfast with you and the sunrise the day before
and the moment you yelled "RACE YOU," right before we ran barefoot down the middle of the old country road behind your house
and I will remember the rush of the air and the sound of your laugh as we rolled down the green hill with our eyes covered
I'll fall asleep soon
and I cannot wait to wake up next to you
Aug 31, 2015
Aug 31, 2015 at 12:08 AM UTC
come here
limbs laced in cotton sheets
my bottom lip between your teeth
tell me the blood drawn tastes like cherries
when we both know it's made of tar
trace a world map on my hipbones in bruises
mark the capital cities with your fingernails
millimeters deep into flesh
let your breath on my neck tell me stories
about who you are and where you've been
your mind spilling ink on pillow cases and skin
and with the left side of this mattress weighed down
let me pretend your hollowed bones
are more than a momentary home
Dec 27, 2014
Dec 27, 2014 at 1:04 PM UTC
I want to know you
I want to know your favorite book
(even if it’s Curious George from the first grade)
I want to know what foods you can’t stand
(so I can pretend to make you eat it)
I want to know your favorite subjects in school
If you can or can’t sleep with socks on
were you a trouble maker when you were little?
the songs you sing at the top of your lungs
and the songs that make you sad
do cheesy pickup lines make you smile or roll your eyes?
I want to know who you want to be someday
the good, the bad, the ugly
I want to know you
as a real person
I want more than what’s on the surface
I want to see beneath that
I promise I am not here to scratch
I just want to see
who you really are
Dec 25, 2014
Dec 25, 2014 at 11:49 PM UTC
I'm not bitter. I've bit my bottom lip too hard twice too many times, but I still wonder why my lips are bleeding. I've said few too many prayers to a God that shut me out before I even reached salvation in the first place. I've swallowed too many handfuls of dirt and sunflower seeds in the hopes that something beautiful will grow inside of me. I'm sad with a boy that loved me so much that it hurt him, and I'm sad without him. My windows are nailed shut, but the curtains won't stop blowing. I'm still trying to figure out how many times I have to get drunk in a church parking lot before I build the courage up to tell you I'm sorry. God speaks in tongues, but I was only ever taught to bite mine. Okay. Maybe I am bitter, but I have the right to be.
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 2:34 AM UTC
I guess the scary part
is that I have no idea if we're in the same water
or if I’m the only one sinking
and you’re using me to hold yourself above the water
Nov 29, 2014
Nov 29, 2014 at 8:06 PM UTC
maybe it’s true
maybe you are a mistake
lord knows you wouldn’t be my first
but if you are
you would certainly be the deepest cut
maybe we’re only thinking about the now
maybe we’re being reckless
the total existence of us together
just might be going against the way the world turns
it could very well be true
but the question i must ask
the one we must ourselves
is
is it worth it
here and now
do we care if this is a mistake
because i tend to think
that happiness is never a mistake when you are in the moment
here and now you are what i want
and quite frankly my dear
i don't give a ****
say what they may
about what the future may or may not hold
you might be a mistake
but you will never
be a regret
Nov 16, 2014
Nov 16, 2014 at 9:15 PM UTC
I cannot escape you
even when I try
You’re always there in the shadows
waiting for lyrics from The 1975 to bring you out
Like a constant ringing in my ears
replaying conversations and memories
My days used to be spent with you in my head
and smiles on my face
Now they are filled with empty thoughts
trying to cover up your reoccurring presence
And oh god do I dread the night
when there is nothing to busy myself with
And I am left helplessly vulnerable
to the feelings that suffocate me
Drowning in our last night together
loathing that I can still hear your voice say my name
There is an agonizing and gaping hole right in the middle of me
where you once were
And even though there is such a lack of you
you are still always there
I cannot escape you
Nov 16, 2014
Nov 16, 2014 at 7:21 PM UTC
I love to read
books, ordinarily
people, uniquely
you, especially
I love to watch
romantic comedies
and you
the way you smile and scowl, when you think no one is watching you read your favorite book
I love to listen
to music that makes no sense on the surface
and to you
the laugh you let loose when you beat me in Mario Cart for the tenth time, too late at night
I love to feel
my favorite blanket, clean and fresh out of the dryer
and you
your body pressed up against mine warm and strong, as we hide from the thunderstorm outside
I love to love
the simplest parts of my happy life
and you
because you are the happiness in my life
and without you
my happy life would not be
Oct 20, 2014
Oct 20, 2014 at 8:46 PM UTC
I remember you quite well.
Your face, the way you spoke.
The way your body felt in a warm embrace.
It all floods back from my memory.
Right now.
It's been about 4 years since we met.
4 years.
You told me you'd never forget me.
I remember the first time you told me you loved me.
My God we were so young.
It's been about 3 years since you wrote me the first letter in the series of many.
3 years.
You told me I was perfect and that stars are not nearly as beautiful as my eyes.
It was the first time I truly felt that was true.
It's been about 2 years since we stayed up at your house, eating pizza, talking to each other about the wonders of life at 3 am.
2 years.
And I still stay up that late almost all the time, thinking about how you hugged me and told me I was wonderful and everything would be okay, and how for the first time in my life I had someone to talk to. I've never had that after you.
It's been about 1 year since we slept in each other's arms and you made me jump on your back and we ran through the pouring rain together.
1 year.
We came to a stop. We sat on the bench right next to the lake. We spoke and all I could pay attention to was the way you said my name like it was the religion you practiced and the way the water dropped down your face and body like you were being baptized.
You kissed me then.
I've never felt so holy in my life.
It's been 4 years since we met.
It's been 3 years since I knew I loved you.
It's been 2 years since you saw the real raw unabridged version of myself.
It's been 1 year since I was saved.
And it's been my whole life I've been waiting for someone like you.
Tragically, my love, I don't think you even know my favourite color or the way I love to sing anymore.
You used to think of me every minute of every day.
4
You used to think of me often.
3
You used to think of me sometimes.
2
You used to think of me once in a blue moon.
1
You stopped thinking of me, just like that.
I lost my faith like I lost you.
Oct 20, 2014
Oct 20, 2014 at 8:12 PM UTC
I wanted you to be
the one in the car beside me
sitting still
watching the lights on the freeway
pass us by
speaking quietly
words about ourselves and each other
using stories as a reason to stay
there in the moment
I wanted the way you can hear someones smile
rather than see it
I wanted you to be one hundred percent mine
just for that short amount of time
I wanted you to be a simple pleasure
a single simple moment
I wanted you to be something you were not
for I came to realize
you were not simple at all
Oct 14, 2014
Oct 14, 2014 at 9:50 PM UTC