to my perfect stranger;
your voice still reverberates
through the cavities of my head,
but i’d rather have you here,
soft words in my ears instead.
i miss your chestnut eyes,
the way they interlocked with mine,
your tousled brown hair shining
as the stars above us seemed to align.
now, while you govern my thoughts,
every word we spoke on constant replay,
i work to memorize your each and every flaw,
for they’ll begin to fade; one by one, day by day.
soon you will cease to exist to me,
your presence now a thought i’d beg to run into.
your touch will soon be washed clear off my skin,
yet when i’m alone, i’ll open my arms to the ghost of you.
there will be countless days and weeks
where your voice doesn’t tiptoe up my spine,
where our memories never try to board my train of thought,
yet when i’m feeling dismal, i’ll remember that you once were mine.
you’ve shown me the beauty in anonymity,
the simplicity of two lonely souls breathing in time.
you’re still a beautiful stranger to me,
your name, your story, a set of words; unable to rhyme.
when my tidal wave of thoughts begins to calm,
your youthful giggle sends ripples through the waters,
remembering how serendipitous you were to me,
for maybe you and i would’ve bonded had the water been hotter.
i find myself doubting the truth in your existence,
for your being is simply beginning to blur.
you were a god-sent blessing to me,
an unexpected summer storm that i never dreamed could occur.
you left your mark on my forehead,
a moment keeping eyes from staying dry,
yet we only said “goodnight”,
never gracing each other with a fateful “goodbye”.
i know that years from now i’ll look back,
remembering bits and piece of my adolescent days,
your name will shine through the cracks in my brain,
i’ll save you then, for in my heart you will stay.
but now for the benefit of my own well being,
your space in my head prepares to greatly decrease.
you’ve slipped through my fingertips like endless sun-tinted beaches,
yet i will always crave you when they day time does cease.
Jul 26, 2015
Jul 26, 2015 at 10:18 PM UTC
I've been waiting for him to come back for an entire year, holding onto the hope that maybe he's looking at the same stars as me and maybe he's listening to that song that reminds him of me but nothing numbs the pain of him leaving. He's falling in love with a new girl every night and even though it will always be him for me he's going to keep moving on until eventually I'll be just another spot in his memory, a blur hidden in his past and I've tried my hardest to move on. I keep wishing someone else would break my heart but I guess I forgot that he took my heart with him when he left. I speak to any man with the same accent as him like maybe it'll keep the memory of him here...I don't want him to disappear. maybe he's forgotten all about me but I'll never forget the first time he said he loved me like it was something he was unsure of like he was scared of it and I was scared too, because there was nothing more beautiful than the way his eyes lit up every time he smiled or the way he walked like he was taking up too much space while at the same time taking up no space. every time I come close to loving anyone else I am reminded of the day he told me to wait for him and the truth is I forgot my own name when I learned his and I think I would wait until the universe collapsed in on itself if it meant I could hear his voice once again.
Jul 11, 2015
Jul 11, 2015 at 9:08 PM UTC
you touched me again in my dream last night,
and I swear I woke up screaming
(d.d.b)
Jun 7, 2015
Jun 7, 2015 at 8:50 AM UTC
**BECAUSE. THIS ENTIRE TIME I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR WAYS TO TELL YOU THAT I AM NOT OKAY WITHOUT YOU HERE. BUT GOD, IT ALWAYS COMES OUT LIKE
"I'M FINE".**
Jun 7, 2015
Jun 7, 2015 at 8:45 AM UTC
I was just a delicate object.
Sitting in the window of a store. I'd been tarnished and broke, but managed to stay secure.
You fell in love with my beauty and you claimed me as your own.
Slowly I began to lose my shine.
Now I'm just an inconvenience to your toyed world. Sitting in the dark, for no one to see what I'm worth.
May 31, 2015
May 31, 2015 at 10:35 PM UTC
Maybe
If I tore open my chest
And let my soul come bleeding out
To seep into the cuts
Ingraved deeply on your hands
I would soak in so deep
You would have no choice but to
Taste me
In every breath you took
See me
In the darkness behind your eyelids
Feel me
In every spine-tingling chill
That made you feel so much more alive
And maybe
Just maybe then
You could finally feel
What is like
To be connected to someone in such a way
That you think they live beneath your skin
May 31, 2015
May 31, 2015 at 5:30 PM UTC
Maybe one day we will cross paths at an art gallery
and
everything
will
be
ok
again
May 31, 2015
May 31, 2015 at 5:02 PM UTC
I am so busy
Trying to be someone else
I forgot how to be
Myself.
May 31, 2015
May 31, 2015 at 11:21 AM UTC
mom? dad?
i’m drowning.
swimming towards the light above,
astringent tears fill my lungs.
mom? dad?
i can’t breathe.
miniscule doses of albuterol
escaping from my little plastic inhaler
stand meager in the eyes of the overly developed fear,
prying its way up the lengths of my throat.
mom? dad?
there’s a stranger in my room.
i stand in front of the mirror
waiting for my reflection;
waiting to see that little girl,
bright, blue eyes, wide smile.
but there’s a stranger there instead;
bloodshot eyes,
inflamed scores down her cheeks,
reaking of poor judgement and broken promises.
mom? dad?
i can’t hear the music.
the floor is varnished with broken cds,
torn-up sheets of abandoned lyrics,
mutilated “i love you”s;
but the record player is still on.
turning and turning
yet i don’t hear a single note,
my senses are paralyzed
by the blow of my demolished heart.
mom? dad?
they won’t stop talking.
people.
people in my head.
voices loud as they scream profanities,
soft as they whisper lullabies,
stern as they bellow punishments.
i can’t make sense
of those who twist and tug on my heart strings
and those who wish to elongate them.
i need out.
mom? dad?
May 30, 2015
May 30, 2015 at 5:54 PM UTC
We are old souls
Trapped in young bodies.
And I wonder,
When can we ever be
free?
May 30, 2015
May 30, 2015 at 5:44 PM UTC