This really will be the last time.
I will just disappear without a goodbye.
Doubt it will make a difference.
I kept trying to prove my love.
What for?
I just ended up sinning with you.
I wasn't uplifting your soul but only dragging it down.
Lustful thinking was all we had going towards the end.
Pay for me so that we can sexually discover one another.
This is what we have come down to.
Selfish wants and needs.
My inner core is burning from humiliation.
I wanted something with meaning a solid friendship.
I was hoping for the impossible.
We just end up sinning.
The same patterns for over a decade.
Too much time and energy placed into this.
Suffocation and space is all I hear if I am not moaning after you.
Whatever little friendship we had is no longer.
Communication is poor.
Our last lifeline is burning down.
Make God a priority or else what I hold so dear will be what causes so much pain.
Letting go of my favorite sin.
So you and I have a chance of a happier hereafter.
Even in silence I am still trying to prove my love.
Sep 22, 2015
Sep 22, 2015 at 10:36 PM UTC
you can replace him with hobbies, other people, with things, things that you need and things that you don't.
but you don't need him.
Sep 8, 2015
Sep 8, 2015 at 11:10 PM UTC
It's two hours away from seeing you
and I'm nervous.
I'm nervous because,
it will be the last chance I'll be with you.
I'm nervous because,
it will be the last chance that I'll feel your arms around me.
I'm nervous because,
i know that later will be our last kiss.
Sep 8, 2015
Sep 8, 2015 at 11:09 PM UTC
you are like an old book
one of my favorites
every once in a while, I need your comfort
I need to feel your creases
smell your smell
hear your words
but it always ends the same
and I know that
Sep 7, 2015
Sep 7, 2015 at 10:36 AM UTC
Dear lover
I regret to inform you that I cannot refer to you as my lover any longer.
Not for lack of wanting, but for lack of love
See, two people can be together without love
Two people start out without love and may progress into it
But that was never going to be the case for us.
I cannot refer to you as my lover because we are not lovers;
We may have *** but we do not make love
Because to make love you need to have love
Have the intention for love.
Love making makes love and love allows for love making.
Dear lover
I've realised now that you were never going to love me.
It was never in your intentions to love me
Nor to make love to me;
I can't even remember an instance when you called me lover.
Perhaps the name was implanted within me because I had the intention of love
I was ready for your love and love making
But you didn't want to write me any letters.
Dear lover
I regret to inform you that your lack of letters has meant I was unaware of your lack of intentions
And I fear I may have fallen
And might want to call you my lover forever
Signed, a lover of non existent letters.
Sep 7, 2015
Sep 7, 2015 at 10:34 AM UTC
I am so tired of feeling so empty and with no home.
I've had so much given to me yet I can't but help to feel empty.
My family has always been there for me yet as I sit with them I feel so alone.
I don't connect with anyone ever.
As I have become older the realization of how lonely existence truly is has just magnified.
I was a fool in thinking I would one day fill this void inside me with a friend or love interest.
I once knew Allah and felt such completeness.
When will I return?
Maybe once this day comes to pass I will feel whole.
My home might just not be in this Dunya.
Sep 7, 2015
Sep 7, 2015 at 9:05 AM UTC