I still feel the same
I am lonely
I feel empty
Im thinking about all my flaws,
About everything I didn't do
Maybe that's why I don't deserve to be happy, I don't deserve to be loved,
I don't deserve to have someone exerting an effort for,
Maybe I am just a waste of space,
Of time,
Of help,
Of feelings.
I've been putting the blame on everyone else around me
Maybe I never accepted that I am the problem
I am the toxic one
I am the anchor that is dragging everyone down with me
I am the one who has to go away
I am the
May 7, 2019
May 7, 2019 at 7:59 AM UTC
i've run out of poetry,
and now all i'm left with
is gray.
gray surroundings,
gray people.
i'm lost in a world
that's lost in itself.
i can't find the words
to even say what i'm feeling,
because all i see is confusion
staring right back at me.
i'm in a room full of mirrors,
my own reflection
not appearing
because i've lost myself
in the depths of my thoughts.
someone,
please find me,
someone, anyone,
i'm gasping for air
that's not even there.
no one understands,
yet you're all here to listen.
there's only one problem.
i can't find the words-
i've run out of poetry.
Jun 25, 2018
Jun 25, 2018 at 5:41 AM UTC
Waking up to a heavy chest
My body begging me to sleep again
And my anxiety begins the second I realize I'm alive
I'm trying to learn to function
With all of this negative energy inside me
I know it'll pass and
I know it'll get better
But right now it hurts
I feel unloved
Unloveable
I feel lost inside myself
A place I can't stay too long
Before I lose my mind
I can tell myself I'm worth it and
That my worth isn't defined by others
And it works for a bit
Until something else comes up and
My heart loses its energy
And I either feel like giving up
Or ready to fight everyone
Jun 25, 2018
Jun 25, 2018 at 5:19 AM UTC
Your naked body
Pressed on mine
We kissed
I thought that
I should feel
Something
Thrill, euphoria
Lust, love
Or bliss
But no
I felt
Nothing
Mar 15, 2018
Mar 15, 2018 at 7:13 AM UTC
Freud says tattoos
Are
The Manifestation
Of a
Trauma
Every point
A
Separate pain
We
Have
Suffered
It took
Two
And a
Half
Hours
To complete
The
Diary
Of my
Trauma
And half a million perforations
To convert
Those
Memories
Into something
New
And
Beautiful
To finally
Let go
Of the past
Feb 13, 2018
Feb 13, 2018 at 5:32 AM UTC
you will never be forgotten.
ever.
your name twisted into metaphors and colors and distractions will forever
be painted across pages and pages of her favorite brand of notebook,
no matter how many she burns
there will always be one she forgot,
and she will only find it once she had almost forgotten you.
she will find the one Papyrus notebook
and all of your metaphors and colors and disractions will come flooding back,
just like how the ocean in your eyes
flooded her heart all those years ago.
Feb 13, 2018
Feb 13, 2018 at 5:24 AM UTC
Doing things that make us feel alive
When the season of new adventures arrives
Both from different seasons
Bonded by the sun for reasons
Alone sometimes,
Together most times,
Just making it through some other seasons
But we always have coffee in whichever season
We may not find each other on Spring, Autumn and Winter
But remember, we'll always have Summer.
Feb 8, 2018
Feb 8, 2018 at 10:08 AM UTC
Am I just too sensitive?
Am I just making everything my problem?
Am I just too weak?
But maybe it is really just too much?
Either way I have to keep waking up every morning.
Force myself to look okay.
Force myself to feel okay.
Wanting to learn despite everything that has happened,
Despite everything on my mind.
So, maybe I am strong.
Maybe I am a survivor.
Maybe I can keep going.
Oct 16, 2017
Oct 16, 2017 at 12:24 PM UTC
I tried everything so they could see me
I silenced myself so they could hear me
Don’t want to beg for help
Now I’m trying to help myself
Trapped in a balloon of random ****
Not one ever tried to pop me out of it
Not even myself
So, I let myself fly so far away
Until I saw my sun
Melting everything away
Oct 16, 2017
Oct 16, 2017 at 12:22 PM UTC