We all have that person who admire from a distance
The fear of getting to know them because you think highly of them
what if those feelings fade or not what you made the person out to be the fear of disappointment
Or what if you can't live up to those needs and those desires
Saying hi makes your day, making eye contact feeling those vibes
Nervous not sure what to say but look forward to the social interaction
Know in an environment but outside of that world be interesting
The fear of rejection but being accepted and mixed emotions hard to set straight.
Aug 27, 2015
Aug 27, 2015 at 5:29 AM UTC
I listen to that song you liked so much
close my eyes and breathe the air you're not breathing
It kills me
I'm breathing but it kills me
Each breath, and I'm closer to madness
Deceivingly bothered by unattachments
to you
to life
to this mediocre page in my journal that can cut you like a knife
into a million pieces
goodnight
Aug 27, 2015
Aug 27, 2015 at 5:26 AM UTC
"I have nothing to say."
What? Am I supposed to feel better that everyone has ******** stories than I?
They've been ***** abused, almost killed, addicted to drugs and other things.
They have scars.
But so do I.
Its like this competition of who's more deserving of feelings.
Who's more depressed? And its sick. As ****
Got people in here lookin at you like you're totally fine, and people out there lookin at you like you're not.
Jul 24, 2015
Jul 24, 2015 at 6:52 AM UTC
She's going in reverse
she felt like a baby who needed a security blanket, a teddy bear
throwing inner tantrums, praying for something
She used to be a chameleon, adapted
must have lost her colors to something so ******* shallow
oh well, she's not ashamed, her body can't help it
**** it, she says
She's a baby, going backwards
needs, needs, needs
gets, and pushes away
Lost connections make her feel hopeless
Since when did everyone become a part of her?
The irony is that nobody really is
She shelters herself in a daydream
is her own bestfriend, makes herself feel ordinary
Comfortable, safe, apparently its dangerous
She lacks, but she loves
She's a baby
Apr 6, 2015
Apr 6, 2015 at 6:47 AM UTC
If you can't see the bright side of life,
polish the dull side.
Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014 at 10:25 PM UTC
you've
finally
snuck
your
way
under
my
skin
I can feel just how badly this will go
Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014 at 10:16 PM UTC
*You are like a constellation in the sky.
So far
yet
so close.
I long to touch you
only to know
that I will burn.
A mystery I long to solve
The longer follow you
the more I get lost.
The more I gaze at you
I see the lost parts of you.
You are like a constellation in the sky
beautiful from a distance
but
ugliness of fire inside.*
Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014 at 10:16 PM UTC
You say
I am turning
into the lady
with the large book
and CD collection,
with isolated friends
and few dates,
whose only love
will be a cat man
one day.
But I'm enjoying
my Saturday
with Kerouac
and kin,
dreaming of
yellow lines and
the open road
instead of
yellow lights
and bars.
Plus,
I'd rather write
these lines alone,
than spend my night
talking in code.
Sep 21, 2014
Sep 21, 2014 at 3:29 PM UTC
She sat staring at the clock
thinking hoping
that there was some other way
not realizing the effect of her decision
but as the minutes ticked by
and the time she had
to talk herself out of it was over
and she began the task;
her last task
and as she completed it she wrote don't miss me,
I was never good enough
for you anyway
and with that she took her last breath
on the earth she lived on
for 16 short years.
Sep 21, 2014
Sep 21, 2014 at 3:24 PM UTC