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josh-koepp
josh-koepp
American Hello my fellow artsy folks. Im a Loyola college student who likes to dabble in music and poetry, so here on this page i decided to let that little vulnerable part of me exist in a place that perhaps someone might benefit from it. / / Cheers! / / Josh
Here I made a video right here to help you understand Well i mean, you technically made the video... I just uh... Borrowed it? I can see that you're...mad But you know now right? Please Sit back down, you can wag your finger after This is important This is a video your child took of you mowing the lawn in 1994 Her big strong  parent, fumbling with this heavy-as-hell-is contraption That sputters, and whirs, and kicks back But like some superhero you...start to shove it along, and conquer the beast And it sprays curiously alluring smog, that like a well behaved child, she knows not to breathe in, Knows not to touch because she's not old enough Or strong enough to pull that chord to trigger the bells and whistles That she, nor i, nor probably you understands. But i digress... So here you are, with your child on the stoop, taking might i add some Fine, stable footage you should really enroll her in some classes, And you traveling around your suburban front yard, chasing away a squirrel with the lawnmower, harmlessly of course And laughing with your daughter Talking to your neighbors over the roaring engine, Emptying the bag of fresh cut grass into the bin... And that's where the battery died No! Don't leave yet I want you to watch again, listen again Here... Listen closely... Did you hear the grass screaming of their judgement day, beneath the lovers kissing each other goodbye, wrapped around each other, as we hold hands, still entangled in  the mass graves you made for them Beneath the ants cowering in their homes, begging their laborers to come back inside before they are noticed, before they are eviscerated and the foreman is forced to pay settlements Beneath the subtle sound of your daughter breathing deeply of the sweet smelling gas that you told her to stay away from, that we learned to be repulsed by, that she has been told to be repulsed by Beneath the... Here, i'll rewind again Here You see the label on the lawnmower? That manufacturer? That bar code? That order number? That factory? That steel purchase? That mine? Did you hear the songs of the forced laborers there, the modern slaves that bear striking resemblance to the songs you learned in high school history class, except softer, pushed under the magazines Beneath the squirrel complaining to the squirrel police about dangerous and disrespectful conduct it's neighbors have been performing when he comes to say hello and finally meet someone in the neighborhood, that he's lived so long in, just to be told it's not "Illegal," Beneath the slightly offensive joke you made towards your black neighbor, who missed the punchline over the roar of the engine, when you asked him why he was so light skinned, and whether that was a "slavery thing," Beneath your child hearing everything You didn't yet... You made that happen, didn't you? This isn't me judging your character I don't blame you "O' causer of destruction" You were not given the tools i was given And similarly i... was not given the tools you were given You were given a lawnmower, and a camera A beautiful daughter, a home, a job Gas! The ability to live where you want! I...well... i was given the opportunity to talk to the grass... And well... In 1994, that same year, in Rwanda an atrocity was committed, a genocide. And the characteristic machetes used to massacre the Tutsi people Contained the same steel blend, from the same producer As the blades in many lawnmowers at the time. This isn't a conviction I did this because i wanted you to know and be okay with being complicit because you exist a certain way Innocent because you never knew, and couldn't have known Because we love you Because we need you Because we need you to know now
0
Dec 23, 2014
Dec 23, 2014 at 4:43 PM UTC
To those who don't believe me when i say you are both complicit and innocent, yet we still love you
Here I made a video right here to help you understand Well i mean, you technically made the video... I just uh... Borrowed it? I can see that you're...mad But you know now right? Please Sit back down, you can wag your finger after This is important This is a video your child took of you mowing the lawn in 1994 Her big strong  parent, fumbling with this heavy-as-hell-is contraption That sputters, and whirs, and kicks back But like some superhero you...start to shove it along, and conquer the beast And it sprays curiously alluring smog, that like a well behaved child, she knows not to breathe in, Knows not to touch because she's not old enough Or strong enough to pull that chord to trigger the bells and whistles That she, nor i, nor probably you understands. But i digress... So here you are, with your child on the stoop, taking might i add some Fine, stable footage you should really enroll her in some classes, And you traveling around your suburban front yard, chasing away a squirrel with the lawnmower, harmlessly of course And laughing with your daughter Talking to your neighbors over the roaring engine, Emptying the bag of fresh cut grass into the bin... And that's where the battery died No! Don't leave yet I want you to watch again, listen again Here... Listen closely... Did you hear the grass screaming of their judgement day, beneath the lovers kissing each other goodbye, wrapped around each other, as we hold hands, still entangled in  the mass graves you made for them Beneath the ants cowering in their homes, begging their laborers to come back inside before they are noticed, before they are eviscerated and the foreman is forced to pay settlements Beneath the subtle sound of your daughter breathing deeply of the sweet smelling gas that you told her to stay away from, that we learned to be repulsed by, that she has been told to be repulsed by Beneath the... Here, i'll rewind again Here You see the label on the lawnmower? That manufacturer? That bar code? That order number? That factory? That steel purchase? That mine? Did you hear the songs of the forced laborers there, the modern slaves that bear striking resemblance to the songs you learned in high school history class, except softer, pushed under the magazines Beneath the squirrel complaining to the squirrel police about dangerous and disrespectful conduct it's neighbors have been performing when he comes to say hello and finally meet someone in the neighborhood, that he's lived so long in, just to be told it's not "Illegal," Beneath the slightly offensive joke you made towards your black neighbor, who missed the punchline over the roar of the engine, when you asked him why he was so light skinned, and whether that was a "slavery thing," Beneath your child hearing everything You didn't yet... You made that happen, didn't you? This isn't me judging your character I don't blame you "O' causer of destruction" You were not given the tools i was given And similarly i... was not given the tools you were given You were given a lawnmower, and a camera A beautiful daughter, a home, a job Gas! The ability to live where you want! I...well... i was given the opportunity to talk to the grass... And well... In 1994, that same year, in Rwanda an atrocity was committed, a genocide. And the characteristic machetes used to massacre the Tutsi people Contained the same steel blend, from the same producer As the blades in many lawnmowers at the time. This isn't a conviction I did this because i wanted you to know and be okay with being complicit because you exist a certain way Innocent because you never knew, and couldn't have known Because we love you Because we need you Because we need you to know now
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64
Man, you know what's good? I ****** this fine ***** last... *Dude, **** yeah. I heard you been tellin...* Son, you need to treat women with more respect. Remember when i... Dad, i heard your stories already. It won't happen again, i'm... Guys, are you sick of being single? This new website is... **** okay. Am i really doing this? I guess it's not that...* Bro, are you really using a dating site? why can't you just get girls like... Normal? Is this normal? No, i should cancel my... Sweetie, i saw that coffee girl making eyes at you when we were... Blond with the notebook? No, that's just Brin. We have... Blond with the **** Dude you gotta tap that before... Bro, I told you, we're just... *** why don't you just go talk to her? She's... You aren't listening, I... Weak, you haven't ****** in months. She looks like she gives... Who knows? Maybe I just... Son, i noticed in the computer history; you aren't... Gay? No, dad i was just... Boy, men don't do that **** Stop... Maybe, maybe that guy was right. Maybe i'm too... Dude, punch me right here. My abs are... Man, i mean should i really be... Never, you're never going to find a nice girl with that haircut. What's a mother to... Girl? Well i guess it has gotten kinda... Hey, i was thinking, do you want to maybe... Friends, friends right? You want to... Playa, you're such a playa. Now you got... Man, i swear... Baby, i love you. Do you love... Love, I...You, I...Don't... Men know that providing for your family is the best way to... We aren't even that... Cuz, remember when i stole that... Dude, you almost got... Boys, are you ready for some hot fun? Just click... Guys can...do that to... Strong, or maybe bigger? I just wish i couldn't see your... Babe, i'm already going to the... Mister? Why do you wear make up? Isn't that for... No, those are just my eyes. It's how i was... Sorry, look. You just never shared your feelings and in the bedroom i... Honey, we were doing so well, i thought i was making you... ***** stop crying you ******* I'm sorry, i was... ****** pay attention or i'll... I wasn't doing... Pretty boy, i bet you like it in... i'm not like that, i... Son, we said you have to play at least one sport: It'll toughen... i just don't... Monday Night Football! The... i wish dad... Dude she's so drunk i bet you could... i... My **** is much bigger than... i... Men can stop **** men are part of the... i... He for She, an organization where... Hollywood ***** passed out on the... Why don't you just order one of them Russian... Gifts for him! He'll love this new... **** me, **** me. Yea, **** me so... *"...and then, Jill, i started asking myself: Why are our boys doing so poorly in school, in America at least? Who's making our boys be so ****** about *** and violence, i mean, as a mother i'm certainly doing the best for my kids... Then it just hit me."*
0
Dec 22, 2014
Dec 22, 2014 at 12:14 AM UTC
Boys Boys Boys
Man, you know what's good? I ****** this fine ***** last... *Dude, **** yeah. I heard you been tellin...* Son, you need to treat women with more respect. Remember when i... Dad, i heard your stories already. It won't happen again, i'm... Guys, are you sick of being single? This new website is... **** okay. Am i really doing this? I guess it's not that...* Bro, are you really using a dating site? why can't you just get girls like... Normal? Is this normal? No, i should cancel my... Sweetie, i saw that coffee girl making eyes at you when we were... Blond with the notebook? No, that's just Brin. We have... Blond with the **** Dude you gotta tap that before... Bro, I told you, we're just... *** why don't you just go talk to her? She's... You aren't listening, I... Weak, you haven't ****** in months. She looks like she gives... Who knows? Maybe I just... Son, i noticed in the computer history; you aren't... Gay? No, dad i was just... Boy, men don't do that **** Stop... Maybe, maybe that guy was right. Maybe i'm too... Dude, punch me right here. My abs are... Man, i mean should i really be... Never, you're never going to find a nice girl with that haircut. What's a mother to... Girl? Well i guess it has gotten kinda... Hey, i was thinking, do you want to maybe... Friends, friends right? You want to... Playa, you're such a playa. Now you got... Man, i swear... Baby, i love you. Do you love... Love, I...You, I...Don't... Men know that providing for your family is the best way to... We aren't even that... Cuz, remember when i stole that... Dude, you almost got... Boys, are you ready for some hot fun? Just click... Guys can...do that to... Strong, or maybe bigger? I just wish i couldn't see your... Babe, i'm already going to the... Mister? Why do you wear make up? Isn't that for... No, those are just my eyes. It's how i was... Sorry, look. You just never shared your feelings and in the bedroom i... Honey, we were doing so well, i thought i was making you... ***** stop crying you ******* I'm sorry, i was... ****** pay attention or i'll... I wasn't doing... Pretty boy, i bet you like it in... i'm not like that, i... Son, we said you have to play at least one sport: It'll toughen... i just don't... Monday Night Football! The... i wish dad... Dude she's so drunk i bet you could... i... My **** is much bigger than... i... Men can stop **** men are part of the... i... He for She, an organization where... Hollywood ***** passed out on the... Why don't you just order one of them Russian... Gifts for him! He'll love this new... **** me, **** me. Yea, **** me so... *"...and then, Jill, i started asking myself: Why are our boys doing so poorly in school, in America at least? Who's making our boys be so ****** about *** and violence, i mean, as a mother i'm certainly doing the best for my kids... Then it just hit me."*
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68
When i put this future in the microwave: Would you say it pops like popcorn? Or like kneecaps? Bottlecaps? And if i wrapped it in tinfoil Would it spark? Or disappear? Or pop at all? And if i placed the plug between my lips And closed my eyes, Would the door open? Would time really matter? Would my mother judge my current life decisions? And then if the morning after i woke Electrified, paralyzed and confused Would wool feel still so itchy? Would i still be where i stood? Or there at all?
0
Nov 5, 2014
Nov 5, 2014 at 4:05 PM UTC
Until It Left These Burnt Walls
Surely, There must be inumerous inadvertant staring contests happening When haplessly gazing across the edge of the world When, too tired to remember that the ocean has many shores, One looks out seeking lighthouses Made of curls braided into the backs of their head As to not run aground, Drown; In the bottled reminders we endlessly toss at our own backs; Why did you think the water gleams, undulates and winks With so much meaning?
0
Nov 2, 2014
Nov 2, 2014 at 11:22 AM UTC
And they told us we needed Binoculars to see ourselves
So let's talk about nice guys The "Kindness paves the path to your ******* Nice guy The "Holds you tight to touch your **** Nice guy The "Can't wait to shed that friendship under the sheets" Nice Guy And of course The "Asks you how your day is" Nice guy The "Walks you to your car just to say goodnight" Nice guy The "Active listener, no ******** advice giver, forgoes eating dinner because you needed someone to just talk to" Nice guy Please tell me you can tell the difference I hate being mistaken for the twin I never asked for He breaks your Windows and blames it on my good intentions Somewhere along the line He triple knotted my kindness to my ***** without my permission  And now every kind word  Is heard like a red flag and thus making friends  makes wary eyes My kindness misread Misheard and mistaken I've learned Some sounds are better left twirling off of shot glasses than ear drums Here we are Guys with hearts of gold, Sought after like they were made of diamonds used like iron to build bridges out of our patience, left to rust once bridges have been crossed, How quickly brilliance is forgotten Well trodden is the kindness we so wish we could bury so you might finally appreciate when our beauty sprouts from hardened earth instead of just being there. You know what we wish was just there? A Well trodden, hardened body, with biceps as unrealistic as the girls you see on TV Drastic as the plastic surgeries Murdering our metabolism For our own eyes as much as yours We so wish we weren't the last to get their first chest hairs Maybe then parties wouldn't mean having to talk to the" are you gay?"s Who remind us that at least we've come a long way from highschool Where people used to just assume With words like fists That left bruises all the same And yet I can't tell what is worse These fists or being set up on dates That I never wanted And never asked for 11 days into my first year of college 3 in the morning over spirits and stories I was asked "So are you gonna ask that guy out?" my car out of gas from adventures with friends I was supposed to sleep on her floor And so i slept on the floor of the halls common room I was kicked out at 3:45 and it was raining I didn't realize there was a wrong answer to that question The next morning I Texted her and asked if she spelt friendship different than I did But guys can deal with their own **** right? And being nice is its own reward right? I've learned to be grateful for being needed, havent i? This is the world where I will never not be the nice guy you have been warned about, You've been warned about every side, angle, shape and size of me Before I've even opened my mouth Warned that if you jump the fire pit you'll be burned Warned not to jump the rose Bush in the garden But everyone seems to remember trying to jump the fire pit No one remembers jumping the rosebushes, because no one jumped the rosebushes And we are patiently waiting, budding while we watch the fires Be watered But on the hundredth time one is told to wait for the silver lining rainfall, to wait our turn, soft hearts hardly remain soft but instead harden into a pulsating mesh of muscles tired of beating for other hearts who feed off our blood and give none back We do it so we know the blood is going somewhere worthwhile, besides our extremities Just so these two feet might walk a one way street that is so God **** lonely
0
Oct 22, 2014
Oct 22, 2014 at 12:26 AM UTC
YG
So let's talk about nice guys The "Kindness paves the path to your ******* Nice guy The "Holds you tight to touch your **** Nice guy The "Can't wait to shed that friendship under the sheets" Nice Guy And of course The "Asks you how your day is" Nice guy The "Walks you to your car just to say goodnight" Nice guy The "Active listener, no ******** advice giver, forgoes eating dinner because you needed someone to just talk to" Nice guy Please tell me you can tell the difference I hate being mistaken for the twin I never asked for He breaks your Windows and blames it on my good intentions Somewhere along the line He triple knotted my kindness to my ***** without my permission  And now every kind word  Is heard like a red flag and thus making friends  makes wary eyes My kindness misread Misheard and mistaken I've learned Some sounds are better left twirling off of shot glasses than ear drums Here we are Guys with hearts of gold, Sought after like they were made of diamonds used like iron to build bridges out of our patience, left to rust once bridges have been crossed, How quickly brilliance is forgotten Well trodden is the kindness we so wish we could bury so you might finally appreciate when our beauty sprouts from hardened earth instead of just being there. You know what we wish was just there? A Well trodden, hardened body, with biceps as unrealistic as the girls you see on TV Drastic as the plastic surgeries Murdering our metabolism For our own eyes as much as yours We so wish we weren't the last to get their first chest hairs Maybe then parties wouldn't mean having to talk to the" are you gay?"s Who remind us that at least we've come a long way from highschool Where people used to just assume With words like fists That left bruises all the same And yet I can't tell what is worse These fists or being set up on dates That I never wanted And never asked for 11 days into my first year of college 3 in the morning over spirits and stories I was asked "So are you gonna ask that guy out?" my car out of gas from adventures with friends I was supposed to sleep on her floor And so i slept on the floor of the halls common room I was kicked out at 3:45 and it was raining I didn't realize there was a wrong answer to that question The next morning I Texted her and asked if she spelt friendship different than I did But guys can deal with their own **** right? And being nice is its own reward right? I've learned to be grateful for being needed, havent i? This is the world where I will never not be the nice guy you have been warned about, You've been warned about every side, angle, shape and size of me Before I've even opened my mouth Warned that if you jump the fire pit you'll be burned Warned not to jump the rose Bush in the garden But everyone seems to remember trying to jump the fire pit No one remembers jumping the rosebushes, because no one jumped the rosebushes And we are patiently waiting, budding while we watch the fires Be watered But on the hundredth time one is told to wait for the silver lining rainfall, to wait our turn, soft hearts hardly remain soft but instead harden into a pulsating mesh of muscles tired of beating for other hearts who feed off our blood and give none back We do it so we know the blood is going somewhere worthwhile, besides our extremities Just so these two feet might walk a one way street that is so God **** lonely
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68
Lemon drops melt like Pennies on the tongue They sting the sores in your mouth You've dropped dollars on each- One too many young entrepreneurs Told to sell citrus sores on street corners Cause cars to slow-stop, smile And remember: Our duty is to make the change jar jingle With Coppernickel piles Of tender value; fifty cents of winking Creased faces tumbling In plastic cups Talking of irony, Per stinging sore. Coppernickle smiles underneath your shoe They've certainly owned slaves before- You
0
Oct 21, 2014
Oct 21, 2014 at 11:45 PM UTC
Never felt no love from a dollar bill
Subtle waves make similar sounds to the desires Drowning amid our fascination with the "What If's" in life The spastic sensations navigating our spines Like fingertips navigating a writhing map Curling as they make their way up and down And so if we leave the "Ifs" for "thens" Then they no longer sway but sit still Our bodies lie dormant, separate and sensationless Thus a hand in your hand says in silence That "What If's" occupy no space Between our clasped palms Clouds disappear as soon as we find No need for the moons slight shine Exploring from behind closed eyes No space between our lips to contest The absence of space between our bodies Nervously sailing above the waters wake The air was cool no vessels to shield from the wind For the boats had given us our privacy To teach each other of music and dance And music is the melody that drifts lightly Upon your skin and your legs and your neck Whispers softly in your ear so you fall victim to its passion Suddenly pressing yourself against another Heartbeats swiften and bodies move in unison Caressing into shimmering heat that strips on every beat Hands fall safely on chests And suddenly the song descends into silence The only sound is made by locked gazes And breaths of amazement. So why stray from possibilities Why think of "What if's" When one look and one touch Led to music like this?
0
Jul 8, 2014
Jul 8, 2014 at 12:12 AM UTC
Untitled
i asked the water for advice It had me lay on the shore and close my eyes While its wake licked my heels, speaking slowly As i listened and took notes on the inside of my eyelids When i woke, the sky was marble blue And inside my eyes were hasty scribbles trying to keep up with the lakes words The water was weary then Falling back to still sounds and quiet movement And i, Only left with the words i had written Sat back and closed my eyes The water said... Her kindness and dedication, for those she loves and for that which she is passionate Is a talent of the heart though it may churn the ocean inside causing ripples in the tide She never leaves wanderers alone on stranded ships Because that is the strife that lingers coiled in between lonesome tired hands and she is one who can feel and truly understand It's a talent of the heart That you feel in her voice And feel in her touch and see in her face as she smiles an skips You are a lucky man you are in the right place Then the water rose And i fled to grandmother tree and she too spoke to me
0
Jul 8, 2014
Jul 8, 2014 at 12:11 AM UTC
The Water Said
The story opens and the curtains reveal a man pacing back and fourth but only within his mind as he shifts his legs in a well used chair We the audience, and the cellos ambiance wait for any kind of sound apart from the squeaking of chairs it would seems our eager stares and judgmental glares stretch the time between the shifting of legs and silence becoming sound sweat beads from his brow because now to the eighteenth minute he will sit in silence, broken only by his last breath before he is to bloom into transcendence as written in the type face of the script and he is nervous the set may be alive, the dancers may be lively but he in 15 minutes shall die dramatically the story shall be driven upon death, his body shall lie motionless his heart will beat ferociously he must be emotionless The story closes behind the curtain a body is risen again a personality is peeled from his face struck blind by seeing light through his own eyes That night he sleeps and dreams about being dead without a heartbeat for once
0
Sep 18, 2013
Sep 18, 2013 at 2:51 PM UTC
Story