His anger displayed on my body
Nobody knows it though
“I fell”
“I ran into something”
“I don’t know how that happened”
So many lies
Hurting those close to me
I can see the pain in their eyes
All they want is to help
I can’t tell them
They can’t know what I’ve gone through
They can’t know what keeps me up at night
The days full of wonder
Of “why’s”
Of “what did I do’s”
I hide my pain from everyone
I can’t risk them knowing
I’ve already caused too much pain
I can’t handle this on my own
May 18, 2015
May 18, 2015 at 7:41 PM UTC
I’m broken
Too far gone
No one can save me now
You’ve destroyed me
I’ll never be what I once was
My walls have crumbled down
It’s time to build them up once more
Twice as high
Made of steel
Never again letting someone close
Hurt one too many times
Never to be repaired
Tears longing to fall
I refuse to let my imperfections show
Act strong
Don’t let anyone near
They’ll only hurt you
Disappoint you
Leave you trembling on the floor
Scared to open yourself to anyone
You no longer trust
Everyone is now an enemy
May 18, 2015
May 18, 2015 at 7:40 PM UTC
You used to be so innocent
Never questioning why your brother was gone for weeks
Why mom and dad weren't talking
Why your teachers always gave you such sad looks
You miss the days when your biggest problem was getting the wrong ice cream
Not making it seem as if nothing is wrong
Putting up a false front
Trying to please others
You miss the days when your parents made friends for you
Not how you walk through the halls alone
Keeping your head down
Hoping not to see the looks you know you’re receiving
Nights spent alone
Crying
Having no one to turn to
You miss the days when everything seemed so perfect
When you didn't shake in terror at the mere thought of school
Having to deal with everyone
Acting as if you’re okay
You miss the days when you were innocent
May 18, 2015
May 18, 2015 at 7:38 PM UTC
One, two, three
The bottles keep disappearing
Four, five, six
The hits becoming harder
I can smell it on her breath
See it in his eyes
Never changes
Only gets worse
Nobody see’s his anger hiding beneath my sleeves
Feb 22, 2015
Feb 22, 2015 at 6:43 PM UTC
If you put a yellow stone in your palm, you will
Feel the warmth of a blanket, fresh from the dryer
Smell daffodils drifting in the spring breeze
Taste homemade lemonade
If you hold a green stone to your ear, you will
Hear wind rustling through the trees
See a forest with a fresh layer of snow
Feel the back of a cat in need of a bath
If you place a red stone under your tongue, you will
Taste a jalapeno, fresh from the plant
See a young man whose heart has been broken one too many times
Feel the heat of a blazing fire
If you hold a grey stone close to your heart, you will
See someone who's being eaten alive by their regrets
Hear the shallow breaths of someone barely hanging on
Taste the bitterness of a ruined marriage
Smell an old house, full of mildew
If you grab a black stone it will crumble to dust, causing you to
Hear the thoughts of a deaf man
Smell fresh blood
See the ghosts that hide inside us all
Feb 22, 2015
Feb 22, 2015 at 6:34 PM UTC
You feel something
Someone
Always watching
Always waiting
Always glancing
Nothing to see
Nothing to hear
Just the feeling
You never feel alone
You know you’re never alone
Where are they hiding
Where are they watching
Why are they watching
For Once
I sit alone
Silence ringing in my ears
For once
My mind is quiet
No thoughts of my mistakes
No thoughts of my joyful times
No thoughts lurking in the shadows
For once
My mind is without a thought
For one
My mind is peaceful
Without a sound
Still
I cherish this
It’s not often that my mind allows stillness
It’s never fails to torment me
Never lets me forget
For once
My mind is tired
For once
My mind has quit
For once
My mind has failed me
As I have failed you
For once
My mind is gone
And so am I
Feb 22, 2015
Feb 22, 2015 at 6:31 PM UTC
My soul ached
Thoughts scrambled through my head
Terror. Confusion. Shame. Rage.
But most of all
Why
Why was I forgotten here
Why does no one answer my screams
Why do I only ever feel misery
Why wasn't I enough
Feb 22, 2015
Feb 22, 2015 at 6:28 PM UTC
I try to fight back
Only to lose yet again.
I try to ignore you,
Only to be tormented until you’re noticed.
I try to rid myself of you,
To bring you down
The same way you’ve brought me down
I try to push you out with thoughts of happiness
Only to be reminded of my mistakes.
I hope to rid you with my numbness,
Only to find you’re the one causing it.
You’re my demon,
My nightmare,
My biggest fear.
You control me with your torment,
I’m too scared to ask for help.
I fear what others would say,
What others would think,
I’m alone in this battle.
Or so I thought.
Feb 22, 2015
Feb 22, 2015 at 6:27 PM UTC
I sit alone
Silence ringing in my ears
For once
My mind is quiet
No thoughts of my mistakes
No thoughts of my joyful times
No thoughts lurking in the shadows
For once
My mind is without a thought
For one
My mind is peaceful
Without a sound
Still
I cherish this
It’s not often that my mind allows stillness
It’s never fails to torment me
Never lets me forget
For once
My mind is tired
For once
My mind has quit
For once
My mind has failed me
As I have failed you
For once
My mind is gone
And so am I
Feb 22, 2015
Feb 22, 2015 at 6:25 PM UTC