My heart has never
Folded in on itself
The way it did when you told me.
"I never expected this...
But...
She and I have been spending a lot of time together, and..."
Preoccupied with my breathing,
Trapping the gasps in my ribcage --
*jesus oh jesus
just breathe
don't let him hear the truth in your voice
and for fuck's sake
don't cry until he hangs up*
-- I missed the rest of what you said.
It's for the best, I think.
Dec 14, 2015
Dec 14, 2015 at 9:12 PM UTC
My feet are still marked
With ghosts of mosquito bites
From that evening on the dock
They itched after I left
Gnawing reminders
I scratched, leaving scars
Six faded spots like old freckles
It wasn't that night
When you asked
But it was that night
When I knew
The next day you said it: Should I leave her?
I said yes, selfishly
But I never relished your gnawing sadness
I never wanted you to hurt
Silly me
I thought you might add two more words:
Should I leave her
For you?
Instead I'm the one with the scars.
Oct 18, 2015
Oct 18, 2015 at 8:49 PM UTC
I'm not sure you exist
Though I've had my arms around you
I still don't know
I've written you
Over and over
Snippets of you in every character
Every voice
Every narrative
All finished
Before I met you
Even then
I knew you
Knew the shape of your smile
The width of your shoulders
The bold flash in your eyes
When your instinct comes out
I wrote all those things
Not knowing you were in the world
My chest folds in in itself
When I see those reflections
Those impossible men
I loved all of them
And so I love you
But
Your heart is taken
And so mine goes to dust
And still
I'm not sure
You exist
Feb 17, 2015
Feb 17, 2015 at 8:51 PM UTC
From dark we come, to dark we go,
In dark we often stay;
In dark we think, in dark we know
As night is born from day.
In dark, in dark I sleep and wake
And though it runs me through,
This darkness cannot overtake
The light I see in you.
Oct 7, 2014
Oct 7, 2014 at 9:11 PM UTC
You stood out front at dusk
Flung your arms when you saw me
Waved through January's bite
And you called to me
Tongue slipping over syllables
Yoga-nimble
Easy
Right on the first try
Like you'd said it before, a thousand times
(Not an easy thing with my name!)
Your stretched crescent-mouth
Deepened the cartography around your eyes--
That was when I knew I loved you.
Oct 3, 2014
Oct 3, 2014 at 9:28 PM UTC
I want to rhyme about you
Crush some words together
Chain them up in singsong rhythms
Catchy phrases
that earworm in my head
and echo.
You're the sort I could write songs about
if I wrote songs.
Feb 28, 2014
Feb 28, 2014 at 11:51 PM UTC
I hide it from you
This thing
Wrap it in tin foil
Tuck it in a matchbox
Put it on the highest closet shelf
Under a pile of never-worn sweaters
I keep it from you
This thing
That bounds like an unleashed puppy
That dances like a dust mote
That makes me feel younger than I am
Like I should pass you notes
(check one yes no)
And dot my i's with tiny graphite hearts
I take it from you
All of it
The calm in your arms
The dearness of your tired eyes
And your grief
That subtle sag of your shoulders
If I could
I would take it
And carry it for you.
Feb 28, 2014
Feb 28, 2014 at 11:29 PM UTC