I have become a maelstrom
ripping down sheltered memories
shifting plates
and drowning secrets in my wake
so, I will start to keep company with myself
go back
spell check the dyslexic scribbles of full feelings
to make the story new
the prologue has to change
contradict my appetite
I am no longer hungry
for you
though I am hungry for
new
I have a way of ******* things up in total
but what if I **** up in pieces
put them together and the story will be whole
I will rebuild the house
rearrange the plates
the ground will stop shaking
and I will leave you in my wake
Dec 29, 2015
Dec 29, 2015 at 4:17 AM UTC
Two pills left
Three required
Which of the two heads will emerge first
The panic is palpable
For now
But there is tomorrow
Then the next day
The day after that
The shadow wolf and the golem await
Taking turns the dice
Which will be first and at what frequency
For now, the doppelganger paces
And paces...
Dec 14, 2015
Dec 14, 2015 at 3:15 PM UTC
The call came in at five a.m.
Weren't we supposed to
Meet for lunch today?
I guess we never will now
Forever
I had to tell mom the news
Not sure I can ever forgive
You for that walk to her door
Then again, I guess I have no choice
Forever
Your children were with me
For the first 48 hours
The first time in a year I'd seen them
Now they can visit anytime
Forever
All that's left is a box of ashes
Cracked photographs of the two of us
More of the whole family with you missing
There will be more
Forever
With all of your pain and not taking my hand
When you needed it most
It may be selfish, I know
But I won't see your signature smile again
Forever
Nov 23, 2015
Nov 23, 2015 at 2:52 PM UTC
Take me down while standing tall
into shattered pieces fall
laughing now tears rush by
rolling down from this high
what is known, what is seen
wash this battered mind to clean
watch me smile here and past
rictus grins that will not last
knowing of the pain to come
colouring each and every moment fun
screaming now in joy or pain
always have they felt the same
only in this sea at dark
when light is gone and hope depart
there i find that fateful step
to take me up the slope so swept
then i smile, i laugh once more
offer myself as emotions *****
though in that moment of breathlessness
where i don't have to face this test
there is a hope that i'll just stop
no more struggle to that top
dear ocean then, call my soul
let me pretend that i am whole
for i would swim the waters again
please, let me swim the waters again.
Nov 22, 2015
Nov 22, 2015 at 8:18 AM UTC
He looks so out of place curled alphabet pajamas against pale blue cotton sheets
Leaving me intravenous tube tongue tied
Wishing it was my veins the poisons were running through
Cause this green eyed baby doesn’t know the opposite of life yet
Shattered glass whispers from the hall slingshot my heart into my throat
At six this reality should be as far away as Pluto
This word that consumes life
It should be tucked away in the closet behind any monster that lingers there when the lights are off
He isn’t ready for the liquid filled lungs to take over and steal his breath
He doesn’t yet know any synonyms for love or how you feel invincible in the arms of the right person
He doesn’t yet know the imperfections that fill the world
He still believes in the magic that spills out of his favorite books
And still trusts without question
He hasn’t had time to grow into the person he was meant to be
I am not one to believe but lately I am thinking that
Whoever fills the sky
Please
Let it be my lungs
Let it be anyone but him
Nov 22, 2015
Nov 22, 2015 at 8:15 AM UTC
Delilah baby I can feel the weight of you in my arms.
I can feel my k to z love for you and see how that laugh of yours makes people cry
and how that smile pierces my heart because it looks just like his did.
I can feel the sun kissing each one of our toes as we sit overlooking the grand canyon in the kaleidoscope sunset.
your spider fingers are wrapped in my hair like a plea to never be left alone
your spindle legs are all knobby kneed and pale entwined with mine.
baby he left me not you.
I was a hurricane and he loved you too much to look
afraid that one glance and he'd be head over heels reeling out of control
like you were the drug and he was the addict.
they say everything happens for a reason and you are my reason.
Delilah baby you are the here and the now of forever.
the stop sign on the corner is an obstacle for street racers but its a godsend because its just enough of a pause for me to kiss you between the eyes.
and I can't ever finish anything so this story isn't complete
and at the top of the pass where the air is clear enough if we sing loud enough maybe he will hear us and remember who he left behind.
Nov 22, 2015
Nov 22, 2015 at 8:07 AM UTC
*I woke up this morning and my name flashed on T.V.
They said i blew up places , they said i killed masses .
Men , women & children I murdered them all.
Who am I ?
I am a muslim and i am taking this fall.
They used my name and spread the terror.
I am not them , it surely is an error.
We, muslims, are the holders of peace , we spread love.
Why am I being represented by their false actions.
I am a person, with different notions.
World will now brand me a terrorist.
Don't judge me by their actions , I insist.
I am not them, they pilfered my name.
They inflicted libel , and my religion to defame .
I have been robbed , robbed of my name.
I am a muslim , human like you , all the same.
My name has been robbed , my identity stolen
I deprecate the terror and mourn for fallen.
There are millions like me and humanity lies in our depths.
But we are all victims of Identity Theft* ...............
Nov 16, 2015
Nov 16, 2015 at 11:39 PM UTC
Cleave, sunder from the root
Spilled forth on the soil
Naked
Afraid
Rive, render from the pod
Scorched from the sun
Cracked
Bleeding
Shake, dither from the soul
Scarred on torment
Numbed
Immobilized
Breathe, utter the words
Cried from memories
Another dawn
Another dusk
Another night
Another cycle
Nov 15, 2015
Nov 15, 2015 at 2:43 PM UTC