I bled for you,
I gave into you,
I wanted to make you happy.
I have an evil soul
I can never be made whole.
No room for a savior.
No way for anyone to save me
Paint me a picture
Make the world look so much better.
There is so much that is not okay.
So much pain
Every mistaken day.
Make me feel
Something real
Little child, such kind eyes
Don’t listen to these lies
They try to take you.
They try to break you
Don’t listen.
I am broken.
I feel nothing inside.
Lie to me
Tell me everything is okay
Lie to me
Open my eyes to a perfect world.
Make it like
The pain was never there.
Abusive scars just disappear.
Make me feel human
Tell me something I want to hear
Cause right now I can’t survive.
Pretend to love me
Pretend to know me
Give me a friend
Give me a lover.
Give me one more reason to live.
The gun
Is awful close
I can taste
The copper against my tongue.
I can’t breathe
Are you listening?
If I say
‘’I love you”,
Would you stay?
I know I am ugly, I am garbage
Which is why I need just one friend.
Tell me everything is okay.
Make me feel again.
Please revive my soul.
I don’t care
If what you say is true
I just need to hear it.
Been so alone
I can hear the world mocking me.
Night after night
Day after day
Depression holds me at ransom
Taking all the joy I ever knew.
Romanticize me,
My life depends on it,
My life depends on it
Mar 20, 2017
Mar 20, 2017 at 3:13 PM UTC
I've learned that Time is only the indication of one thing: Time.
It determines the seconds, minutes, hours as they pass
But it can't determine the rate at which a person falls.
First sight;
first smell;
first touch
,
Important factors in the drop.
First laugh;
first kiss;
first hug,
Time doesn't get to determine how quickly he learns to make your heart stop.
I've always had these rules because Time told me they were right.
"Can't eat until that time."
"Can't shower until this time."
Can't give my heart away to a man after 28 days
Because Time claims, 'Too soon.'
But Time doesn't see the details.
It can't stop it's ticker, pause,
and see the way his hands make your body quiver.
No,
time doesn't get to take a break
to feel the way his eyes gaze at you
as if he has never seen anything more beautiful.
And time can't feel the breath your lungs take
at the simple sight of him.
I've always had these rules because Time told me they were necessary.
And when he told me of the love he felt after 21 days,
I looked to time who yelled,
"Too soon, too soon, too soon, he can't possibly feel that now."
But then I look at him
and I can see the way he looks at me.
I get to feel the gentleness of his touch
and the intensity of his kiss.
Time can only pass.
And I've realized that time will pass,
whether you let yourself fall too soon
or if you allow the passing minutes
to inform you of when it's okay to start loving someone.
Time can only indicate the time.
Time counts the seconds.
But time does not get to tell me when it's okay to feel anymore.
Mar 20, 2017
Mar 20, 2017 at 3:12 PM UTC
How fun it would be
To fall down a hole into a far away place,
Full of creatures unknown,
Stories untold,
A universe away from the human race.
How fun it would be
To be able to think all day.
Mad as a hatter,
Crooked as a caterpillar,
With no one to feed your head except
The whispering winds around you.
Oh Alice, dear Alice,
How I do envy you.
Up here, surrounded by malice
Violence, and ever-vacuous people.
Every day we feed our heads with
The words of crooked politicians
And mindless, uncivil movements.
Oh Alice, dear Alice,
This world's time is ticking closer
To the end.
Mar 19, 2017
Mar 19, 2017 at 11:21 PM UTC
My whole life, I’ve battled depression looking for the best end after the loss of a best friend. Everybody would recommend a session, telling me to count my blessings this is only a section, of my life.
At 14 I lost my first encounter, with a bottle on the counter I took a bunch of downers and laid down in the tub because I wasn’t “cool” enough and my life was so rough, I was only a kid.
At 15 I had my first beer, the first time I was able to drown out my fear that end was near and I thought I was thinking clear but I was just like a deer, in the headlights.
At 16, I found my way to the end of a roach, the first time I smoked, the first time I realized I could easily cope with the dope and finally have hope that I was shortening the rope, around my neck.
The next few years all ran together, forgetting all the storms I weathered, the people who didn’t get better thinking I was happy I met her, a bird with beautiful feathers her life meaning more than mine.
Everything during this time ruined by me wanting to die, only outnumbered by the number of highs, telling my friends nothing but lies, like I’m fine. Always knowing its almost my time.
I often tried to reason, why I’m fighting these demons my mind committing this treason ending the evenings barely breathing, emotions changing like seasons having to suppress my feelings.
I’ve spent many days feeling nervous, looking for my purpose, through help and service but at the end of the day, 12 years later still feeling worthless.
I’ve been led to wonder what I’m missing. 26 years of no one listening, after a week of the same just saying I’m ******** so I’d run to the kitchen thinking I’m fixing my problems but that only made them worse.
So I would get my thrills with any girl who’d let me cop a feel knowing nothings reals trying to reach a deal so I could finally feel but we were always “better as friends.”
Then there were the girls not ready to date, unless it was a boy they’d hate, or the ones only looking to mate as way to escape their last mistake, who was usually me.
The meaningless flings would always fly with me because I knew I’d never be the one to set her free and they’d always be ashamed for someone to see them with me, but that’s fine.
I know no one wants something broken, a heart that won’t open, a brain constantly downward sloping, someone always coping because they’re just tired of hoping for what they stopped believing.
Next thing I knew I started cutting myself to fulfill the need that I perceived could free my mind by planting the seed that I was a superior breed and couldn’t die.
Really, I would drink then wash my blood down the sink because I wouldn’t have the time to think about my missing link that led me to the brink, of life.
No matter how you cope, in a bar, working on cars, making scars, wishing on a shooting star you’ll never get far, enough away.
So what do you do when you think you’re at the end, without a friend, a stranger in your skin, tired of always trying to begin again, I grab a pen. The paper ask me where I’ve been because I forget every now and then that I can win and that’s when the whole cycle starts again. Ready to welcome you, my old friend.
Mar 9, 2017
Mar 9, 2017 at 7:24 AM UTC
Days go by and i fret for humanity yet,
time is running out but its infinite.
Should we not all be afraid?
I run, I gallop, I get no where.
I finally see someone else doing the same.
Through each others help we advance.
We look and see others,
with each gained aquaintance we grow stronger,
more able to move.
Finally we realize we need as many as possible.
Some people are reluctant, yet the force grows.
The takeover is complete.
Feb 26, 2015
Feb 26, 2015 at 1:01 PM UTC
You must think for yourself,
others cannot live for you.
The others will search for your help,
and soon begin to adore you.
You are a great being son,
thats what his mother told him.
Youre meant to do things never done,
Remember the future is never dim.
The flow of Imagination is all he had,
he was growing up a king,
His lfe was set so he was never sad,
Yet he never understood the meaning.
As his fathers time had finally past,
the boy must become a man.
Son i dont know how long I'll last,
but in you i forever can.
The boy knows without him he wouldnt be who he is today,
He is scared amidst it all,
as he prepares his speech to say.
He walks down the aisle and to their knees they fall.
The time has come to rise up.
Shake off the encompassing webs.
Deny yourself what was once gossip
Seperate from the living dead.
His speech began and the crowd went wild,
not restless as hed assumed.
He no longer is the helpless child,
valiantly he resumes.
His goal is to conquer all,
not for the money or endless trees.
He is the greatest ruler youve ever saw.
He brings ****** peace.
The world united is all he wants.
He will not stop till he gets it.
The words he speaks dont seem to flaunt,
however his demeanor speaks it.
Then one day he bears a child.
He could never expect it.
His heart sudenly tender and mild.
So upset of the bloodshed he directed.
The world is one but not through war,
Thats what he finally realized.
The pain and suffering went to far.
There was a new look in his eyes.
He taught his son all he could about the circle of life,
His son ignored and did not listen,
He didnt have to go through strife,
Never had a brow glisten.
His old man was crazy thats what they said,
the naysayers coming forth by the hundreds,
All through his gain they wanted to be paid,
but he no longer felt any hatred.
His son decides one day his fathers time has come,
he prepares mentally all day,
his fathers progress mustnt be undone.
He will step in his fathers way.
As he comes up behind his father,
knife up to his throat.
He tells his father not to bother,
then he begins to gloat.
My empire will triple yours in money and power,
I will forever be respected by my servants.
Now father comes my hour,
Let everyone be observant.
My son just let me utter first a phrase,
hopefully it teaches you something.
If forever you count the riches paid,
your life will mean nothing.
I love you my son,
Just do one favor i plead.
No father the deed is done.
I now shall watch you bleed.
Feb 26, 2015
Feb 26, 2015 at 12:58 PM UTC
Her beauty far exceeds that of any other
With looks of an angel indeed
She makes me want to look no further
But instead just concede
She walks like she’s on top
Voice tantalizing even me
Has a brain that never stops
Shes the only thing I see
Her thoughts stand alone
She is the best there can be
Her immaculate beauty forever shown
Hopefully shes the one for me
Feb 26, 2015
Feb 26, 2015 at 12:35 PM UTC
No matter how hard you try you’ll never succeed,
No matter how hard you try you’ll never fail,
No matter how hard you try you’ll always be mediocre.
You will live the normal everyday life.
You will have an average job, kids, wife,
You will be average.
Is that what you want?
Is that how you want to be?
Never remembered.
Never forgotten.
Never existing.
Will you accept this,
Or will you do something about it.
Good or bad as long as its extravagant.
Be extreme.
Good person Bad person be remembered,
Osama bin Laden, or Jesus Christ be remembered.
Make something special of your life.
Don’t conform.
Don’t be normal.
Just do what it takes.
Be remembered.
Satan or God,
rich or poor,
living or dying in glory.
Be remembered.
Feb 26, 2015
Feb 26, 2015 at 12:28 PM UTC