Happy golden thoughts danced around my head.
Things of joy happen everywhere
Children play
Birds chirp
Flowers grow towards the sun
Everything is happy
There cannot be evil,
Not in this land of yellow.
The people live lives in shades of yellow.
No dark color inhabit.
A place of happiness really does exist
Jun 11, 2019
Jun 11, 2019 at 11:56 AM UTC
This morning I woke up without regret
Everything went well
My thoughts didn't cause any turmoil
My soul was at peace
Suddenly, something changed.
I was filled with anxiety
Gut-wrenching thoughts flooded in.
Maybe I should just die
Those words filled my head,
Impulses rushed through my body,
To act upon those nasty feelings
To actually take my own life.
But here I am
Barely breathing
Barely living
On the verge of ending it all.
Jun 11, 2019
Jun 11, 2019 at 11:48 AM UTC
How can it be this bad?
Nothing bad is going on,
Everything is so simple
So put together perfectly.
On the outside, it's perfect
Mom and Dad married
Older brother, younger sister
Nice house, good neighborhood.
Top of class
Future mostly planned
Good paying job
Volunteers in community
Behind the closed doors,
Behind the put together girl
Was the girl struggling to live
Every moment was a struggle.
Tears of pain and suffering
All in silence
Because no one sees past
The perfect look life she possesses
Jun 10, 2019
Jun 10, 2019 at 6:12 PM UTC
I wish for freedom.
A peace of my soul wants out.
But I hold it in,
Because this is not my place,
Or my time.
I know one day I will be free,
As hard as it may be,
My freedom is coming.
One way or another.
May 28, 2019
May 28, 2019 at 12:49 AM UTC
How can I want something so desperately,
And it seem so right,
But seem so wrong?
May 28, 2019
May 28, 2019 at 12:47 AM UTC
I must have dropped my dreams at some point,
Because all of the sudden they were on the floor.
'Be careful!' I exclaimed.
'We are,' they claimed.
They weren't.
Suddenly my dreams were being stepped on.
I thought it would be okay,
But then I realized
They were shattered.
My dreams!
They were crushed by the careless acts of someone.
They said they would be careful
Now everything I ever wanted is broken,
Shattered with all hope lost.
Crunch.
The sound they made when the fateful action occurred.
My "loved one" so thoughtlessly stepped,
They knew, I told them, and they didn't care.
All hope lost and my dreams scattering with every second.
I wept.
May 21, 2019
May 21, 2019 at 12:18 AM UTC
Some days,
I do the slicing.
Others you do.
Regardless
It hurts,
Hurts like hell
On my thigh
Or
On my heart
The blood still runs
Red
Deep scarlet red.
But you
Don't know that,
Do you?
May 20, 2019
May 20, 2019 at 1:53 AM UTC
How do you say,
'You make me want to die.'
Without destroying someone?
May 20, 2019
May 20, 2019 at 1:47 AM UTC
Funny,
They tell tell you
To get rid of toxic
Things in your life,
But when you tell
Your Mom
That being around her,
Makes you want to die,
She breaks into
A million pieces
And begins to cry.
May 20, 2019
May 20, 2019 at 1:46 AM UTC