i don't ever want you
to let me go
but
i don't know
if you really have me
at all
Apr 30, 2014
Apr 30, 2014 at 11:22 AM UTC
i want to go back
f o u r months
and stay tucked between the sheets
in the comfort of the unknown
before i met you-
before you changed me-
before you ruined me
i want to go back
s i x months
and beg you to stay-
to grovel at your feet
and make me okay
before i let you slip away-
before i let me lose my way
i want to go back
1 0 months
to know what i now know
before you changed my mind-
before you brought me back to life
i want to go back
f o u r t e e n years
and freeze time-
to be innocent-
before my light
turned dark-
to know not
what i now know-
before my mind met
destruction
i want to go back
t w e n t y years
and erase the future-
to erase the pain-
b a c k before coming to existence
in a place measured by time-
before life was an en d l e s s stretch
and death was a goal-
before life was a burden-
before knowing a meaningless existence-
before corruption consumed me
but truly
i need to go back
ten months-
when you,
only you
were capable of soothing my thoughts-
when you pulled me out of the dark
to show me the light
as if the sun was suspended
in a endless night sky
i need to go back
six months-
and tell you to stay-
to tell you that when you leave
i, too, would go away-
just six months-
before i let who i was with you
disappear-
before i welcomed the negativity-
before i let it consume me-
before i met the boy who ruined me
Apr 14, 2014
Apr 14, 2014 at 2:20 PM UTC
where is my head?
it has disappeard
it's been picked and prodded
it's been shattered and knotted
come find me
i'm l o s t
endlessly searching
for any thoughts
Apr 11, 2014
Apr 11, 2014 at 11:02 AM UTC
trying to push
sound out of silence
is a daunting task
waiting,
for words,
for sound,
for noise,
for you
because I will
endlessly listen
to the cacophony,
the racket
surrounding me
until it is no longer
just noise
I hear
but your voice
in my ears
I will spend
the rest of time
waiting for the silence
to turn to sound
Apr 2, 2014
Apr 2, 2014 at 6:56 PM UTC
we are all lost
blindly searching for meaning
in a life where meaning is
a nine-five job,
a house left alone,
an engine for mobility
does the search ever end?
is being lost
searching
hopelessly for death?
is being lost
the potential
to live?
or
really just that?
misplaced?
is it anything at all?
or
n o t h i n g .
is it an escape?
is searching for meaning
being astray?
being found?
or created?
created from the pursuit,
from the struggle,
*from the meaningless
glide from moment
to moment
knowing only
that death is certain*
Apr 2, 2014
Apr 2, 2014 at 3:33 PM UTC
where did i go?
where there was once
ravenous light
there is now only
a soft, dull, burning glow
Mar 15, 2014
Mar 15, 2014 at 1:37 PM UTC
you were the sun
that turned my darkness
into light
and you were the wind
that blew away all
of my fright
you held my head
so softly
you gave me sight
but now the sun
and the wind
are as dark as night
Mar 15, 2014
Mar 15, 2014 at 12:27 PM UTC
do you not understand
that i would follow you
to the end of eternity
to bask in your warmth?
do you not understand
that i would spend the
rest of my life giving
you all the love i am able?
do you not understand
that you are my reason
for happiness?
my means to survival?
do you not understand
that i gave myself to you
when i had nothing in me?
do you not understand
that when you walked away
i turned hollow?
that everything you showed me
and everything you poured into me
was stripped from my being
the moment you turned you head?
because, my love,
i understand that you
and only you
are able to put
my broken body
back together
only you are capable
of giving me air to breathe,
heat to stay warm,
and happiness to survive
Mar 10, 2014
Mar 10, 2014 at 3:34 PM UTC
my old friend
is creeping back in,
what did i do to
deserve this again?
my old friend,
you gnawed
on my mind
you ripped
and tore
until i
went blind
my old friend
why are you here?
i was feeling again
and then you appear
let me be
can you not see
that you are
slowly
killing me?
Feb 25, 2014
Feb 25, 2014 at 4:32 PM UTC