A Snake slither’s from my mouth, through shaking fingers.
What bile will I spew next?
Panic builds in the corners of my soul
The Demon’s clash, sick with laughter
Drowning in self loathing thoughts
“I didn’t mean it like that”
Their eye’s bombard the blockade of my smile
Trapped inside myself, my own personal hell
The Demon’s whisper terrible thoughts in my ear
The tender caress of my loyal enemies
Cat calls of the broken hearted
Strong reminders of the worth, I don’t have
The Snake coils around my throat.
I don’t dare fight back
The Demon’s are stronger than us all
They hold hands as they dance around my mind
Laughing at everything I do
Everything I say
Everything I dare to think
Making sure I remember who I am
worthless. ugly. stupid.
Unloved
I still can hear their laughter
As the Snake crawls back down my throat
Nestling in the depths of my soul
A terrible reminder of the weight I bare
Endless nights, reliving endless days
Faded into a whisper
“He won’t love you because of me”
Nov 27, 2016
Nov 27, 2016 at 8:40 PM UTC
Tangled in Desire and Depression
regulated by hostility and sin
whilst those truly guilty
run wild; Controlling their prey
I see what you're doing
all the familiar games, we used to play
jealous of the love I possess
******* happiness like blood
the pain no one helped me through
darkened nights: tear drops on broken glass
the shattered remains of the girl I was
surround the monster I have become
Punch me, Cut me, make me Bleed
just don't break my heart
stitches and way too many shots
falling, deep into my blackened soul
forget who I have killed
don't remember the hearts I kept
taste the flesh under your teeth
then go home before...it's...all...gone
screams that echo through the night
shows the terror I feel,
every time my eyes shut
pain from the past that won't let me go
I wish I could accept the future
but my mind still aches with fear
torn in two by love and pain
dancing to a bittersweet melody of self mutilation
Jan 10, 2015
Jan 10, 2015 at 11:34 PM UTC
Dark Posters of Skeleton Brides
Video Game pings, and Overflowing Drinks
As Unusual People lay on Hand Me Down Couches
with Tobacco strewn all over my Mom's Old Coffee Table
Barely Voices , No Conversation. Just
BOOM, BOOM BOOM! before I sing aloud
Screams of Joy, "Traplawd Rules"
Kisses on my Nose, Giggling a Little too Loud
Laughter Proceeds Coughing, Funny girly high kicks
***** Get Drunk"* They tell me, Ah the friends I have
Ragged Carpets over Soft Broken Love Seats
Rough Tobacco stuffed Into Cigarette Tubes
as He Softly Kisses my Arm
**** stubble, tattooed skin**
***** Stings, Tabacco burns
Leaving even Baked Goods with a Smokey Flavor
Oct 22, 2014
Oct 22, 2014 at 5:53 PM UTC
Dear Dad
Fighting through what seems like impossible struggles
I find myself needing your strength
The valor that dictates your life, to keep me moving forward
Honor and Integrity, those words you taught me
Helping me realize that I can be strong
You supported me and have always loved me
For every weird and awkward angle
You make me laugh, and you taught me right from wrong
Lessons learned, to be forever remembered.
Years from now when time is short
I want you to read this poem
And remember how you raised a little girl
To the woman I have become
I will hold your hand and tell you I love you
Through all the hard times ahead
But Daddy, please remember I will love you till the end.
Sep 13, 2014
Sep 13, 2014 at 2:06 PM UTC
Nothing is what it seems.
It's sad when the butterflies in your stomach let you down
Starting to realize your not worth it
At least no one feels your worth it
Pretending to be strong
Standing up for myself
When I desperately want to fall.
Trying to clear a clouded mind
Intuitive heart alterations.
Jun 7, 2014
Jun 7, 2014 at 7:37 PM UTC
The dream always starts the same way
Me slowly drifting down the old river
A cigarette in my mouth and
A boy calling my name
My hair flowing behind me
A perfect blend of red and gold
Seductively cute lifeless smiles
The river keeps curving round and round
Down I fall into a convenient rabbit hole
The water tainted with my attitude
Purposefully tempting me to go
Down
Down
Down
The feelings don't go away
Just because you wish they would
New feeling bloom like beautiful flowers
Eyes sparkling with newly inspired desire
Waiting for the curtain to rise, and the act to begin
May 13, 2014
May 13, 2014 at 1:33 PM UTC
Life is a series of links between fantastic moments & unforgettable memories:
The moment a stranger pays you kindness
or the feel of a unknown first kiss, with the passion of faded possibility.
Drenched feelings, what's right and what do I feel,
playing around with a new expression; An expression of self degradation:
The lovely bruises that litter my skin shouldn't bring me such wonder.
But I remain here,
pleading with my heart to stay the bittersweet skips,
as I wait for you to pull me closer, but it never seems to listen:
Dark prince,
you play with a damaged mind,
one riddled with everyone's problems, and suppresses all her own.
In a game unknown to all but the puppeteers;
Dark Prince,
with a whole new world of ideas, your intoxicating passion rattles me deeper then I dare mention.
But still;
I beg my heart to stay it's hand as life moves on and
Dark prince,
with words like nurturing bee stings and lips of pure statin drowned in honey,
you are a comforting reminder of a new door opening.
Dark Prince,
pull me closer and hold me tighter,
is it too much to ask for you to protect me from the onslaught of all to clear nightmares.
For minds and hearts such as mine, aren't unfamiliar with the cruel hand, and hollow kisses from a lovers lips with the taste of an old romance,
the tales of woe never interested me anyway.
Dark Prince,
Words are my knives, the only way I can voice what's really inside. The final defense of a forgot but painful war. Take this proclamation with the gentlest of kisses.
For my Dear Dark Prince, we are only at the beginning.
May 5, 2014
May 5, 2014 at 10:53 PM UTC
A heart full of dark desires
Playing with my own personal fires
Burns and bruises litter my skin
Where has my sanity been
Forever dancing in the flames
All of my ***** twisted aims
Apr 29, 2014
Apr 29, 2014 at 12:55 PM UTC
Overflowing coffee cups
Ancient cigarette butts
Bittersweet romances
Trying to stop myself from quitting
Forever doing the devil's bidding
Feb 20, 2014
Feb 20, 2014 at 10:57 AM UTC
Skipping through the rain
forgetting all the pain
Dance like you have nowhere to be
Dance like your dancing with me.
A midnight chance is all I need
An overwhelming lustful greed
Follow me through the darkest night
Dreading the dawn, when all I have left is to write
Feb 3, 2014
Feb 3, 2014 at 8:59 PM UTC