I want to change my name, and run away to a deserted island,
Cry myself to sleep, then sleep for an eternity.
I want to scream,
But I can't.
I want to just blink,
And things be different.
I want to feel in control of my life,
Independent.
I want an unlimited supply of fuel,
To travel across the country.
But it doesn't matter what I want,
Because life is what it is.
Conform. Conform. Conform.
I have to stop feeling,
Stop wanting,
Stop caring,
Stop having my own thoughts.
Otherwise,
I'll be eaten alive,
From the inside out.
May 12, 2020
May 12, 2020 at 9:37 PM UTC
No, no, no, no.
Yeah, maybe.
Okay, but why?
Because it is what it is.
Is it, though?
Yeah, maybe.
But what if it's the opposite?
No, no.
Well, maybe.
I think it is.
No. It can't be.
Okay, but why?
Because it is what it is.
But what is it?
It's that thing.
Can you explain?
Yeah, maybe.
Okay.
It's that thing.
Go on.
That everyone has.
What does everyone have?
The same thing, but different.
How can it be both same and different?
Because it is what it is.
Keep going.
Everybody feels it.
Feels what?
The thing.
What is the thing?
The thing is whatever you think it is.
Apr 23, 2018
Apr 23, 2018 at 11:57 PM UTC
There is a civil war going on inside.
It seems to be painfully infinite.
It is full of self-hatred, loathing.
It is confusing, chaotic.
You want to cry, you cannot.
It is out of control.
It makes you angry.
What can you do,
but nothing?
*******
Why?
Oct 27, 2017
Oct 27, 2017 at 1:43 AM UTC
Locked in an
insane
asylum
they are called crazy by all.
Sitting, sitting, staring;
Ranting about aliens,
watching the toddler
float, floating
in the air in front of them.
On a schedule,
tick, tick, ring
goes the bell.
They believe what
you
or I
will not.
They see the world
the way we
never
will.
"You're delusional,
up is up, not
umop
Wrong is wrong,
not write."
But what if,
not impossibly,
for the
better,
not him
or her is delusional,
but
you
or I?
May 10, 2017
May 10, 2017 at 10:08 PM UTC
I tried..
You failed.
At least I won't regret..
They rejected you.
I can try again..
You'll lose again.
Some people do better..
You're not that special.
But maybe..
No.
Mar 26, 2016
Mar 26, 2016 at 10:53 PM UTC
Do you ever feel frustrated?
I'm overcome with a million words
that I know I'll never say.
Time stops around me,
But my brain is a l i v e.
Thoughts gather,
and
jmup
aornud
Until I can't make sense of what I'm feeling.
E v e r y t h i n g becomes me.
I'm a deep, wide river
dried up in the sun.
Somehow barren,
yet
drowning.
I'm walking along this road,
not going anywhere.
I'm living each day of the year,
But it's routine, copied,
routine, copied,
routine, copied
The same t i c k,
t o c k,
t i c k,
t o c k,
Until I can't make sense,
Of where I'm going.
I am nowhere.
I'm spinning in every direction,
Standing on top of the world.
L O S T
But here
All the same.
Mar 13, 2016
Mar 13, 2016 at 12:27 AM UTC
The old tend to say,
That we're the ones to blame.
The Forgotten Generation.
I ask,
How can we be blamed,
When they themselves made the choices?
None of us had yet the voices to raise!
So how can they claim,
That we are to blame?
For the first time in American history,
We may not make the climb.
Our futures may get worse,
Not as in the past.
Stuck in a moving stream,
We have no ideals to last.
We have no original thoughts to think!
And yet,
We continue to be expected to Rise,
To Dream.
Maybe we'll look at life with a wink.
Maybe we do beat the challenge from the
past.
Maybe The Forgotten becomes The
Remembered.
Who knows?
Mar 12, 2016
Mar 12, 2016 at 12:35 AM UTC
To feel is to hurt.
To hurt is to cry.
To cry is relief,
And the ultimate relief is death.
So in reality, isn't to feel really to die?
Sep 11, 2015
Sep 11, 2015 at 11:41 PM UTC
Again and again,
Round and round,
The carousel keeps spinning.
It won't stop until I choose,
To die or keep on living.
The more I watch,
The worse it gets,
the horses all so blurry.
I must decide,
Yet still I hide.
After all, what's the hurry?
So I will take it day by day,
And watch the carousel spin on.
For now at least,
Again and again,
Round and round,
The carousel keeps spinning.
Jul 19, 2015
Jul 19, 2015 at 5:50 PM UTC