I went into that uncomfortable place
And because nobody could stand to visit
The place where I lived always
I died there, alone.
I can't. I just ******* can't.
I'm sorry.
Apr 17, 2017
Apr 17, 2017 at 12:30 PM UTC
I jump up onto the stage of life,
With a small curtsy to the audience
- is that obiesant enough, my Master? -
I begin my sad little dance.
First we look on the phone screen,
No missed calls, but for users and losers,
Next we check the email,
Ugh so much spam, so much junk...
So my sad little dance
Takes us to filter,
And we Search Search SEARCH
and find nothing.
"Mary" "Marylee" "daughter" "mom"
"Mother" "Maggi" "Mike" "Neil" "Nathan" "dad" "son" "Nathaniel"
Dance dance dance, so pathetic
Now bow. Bow in shame, bow in disappointment, no matter just BOW.
BOW, ***** your dance is over.
Apr 10, 2017
Apr 10, 2017 at 9:51 PM UTC
For Alice (Who used to be me)
I have believed in fairy tales
Once I walked in worlds of rosy hue
I lived in Wonderland and Counterpane
dreaming dreams I knew would all come true
Morning turns to noon day to evening all too soon
Oz can turn to ashes in just a day
Princes return as frogs to their lily pads
Wonderlands Alice is a matron growing grey
No one comes to kiss the princess as she sleeps,
Knights in shining armor ride no more.
Tinker bell is dying with no one to believe.
The Mad Hatter is laughing at the door.
The dragon is not slain but lives in glory
Roxanne always marries Christian after all
Cinderella sits forever midst the ashes
Too late for Alice the door is much to small
The Emerald City's walls are bottle glass
And reality has crushed them neath its heel
The yellow brick road leads nowhere very quickly
And Alice knows that lonely is the only thing she'll feel
oh! let alice return to Wonderland again,
Away from the mud and slime outside the looking glass.
Life is much to large without that tiny door,
And she would seek the March Hares party where time will never pass.
Mar 30, 2017
Mar 30, 2017 at 6:04 AM UTC
Dear Mom,
I despise you, and I think you should just
die and decay 'til you're nothing but dust,
Get out of my face and my home and my life,
Nothing you are has value.
In my 16 years there is nothing you've done,
No demons you've fought with, no battles you've won,
That can make you seem worthy of jack **** from me,
Because you're so ****** repugnant.
Strangers on the street don't get the stream of hate I give you,
And you can cry and beg all you want,
But this campaign of denigration
is all yours, Mommy.
No, there doesn't have to be a reason why.
Mar 29, 2017
Mar 29, 2017 at 12:11 PM UTC
Before opening the door of the lost
Perchance I will find the healing salve I seek
Its warmth melt the forlorn depths of my heart
Only emptiness remaining
Leaving the soul hollow and soiled
No longer the betrayer love control my emotions
Bitterness the ruler of my isolated world
So, pardon if soon I speak no more
As I ponder for a reason to live
I pause before entering the entrance way of the ghosts
And only a backward glance do I give
Gazing into the fourth dimension
Looking back, I see what was
What is
And what will be no more
Only a backward glance do I give
Before stepping through the vanishing door
All Rights Reserved @ Tammy M. Darby Mar. 13, 2017
Mar 25, 2017
Mar 25, 2017 at 10:47 PM UTC
I am an ocean
Powerful in waves
I crash into anything that stands in my way
I have no heart
And I have no soul
I have already sank an entire graveyard
Of ships that were once great feats
Don't worry,
For you have no fear
You're just the captain
On a ship I held dear
You will sink beneath my waves
For that's what I do
I am a possessive being
And I'm not ready to give up you
You will die
Here in my reefs
And allow my fish
To home in your grief
And that's were you'll be
Another lost century
That's what's happens when people look to close to me
They lean a little to forwarded
And crash into me
And my waves has no mercies
For those sailing to get through me
Mar 25, 2017
Mar 25, 2017 at 10:22 PM UTC
I don't know how to live,
How to operate this body
Successfully
In this place that I thought
Was mine.
I don't know how to love,
How to share the value of
Mattering
When I've forgotten why I thought
I ever did.
I don't know how to hope,
How to fight thru hate and be
Standing tall
When ignorant haters and deceitful friends are
At the helm.
I don't know how to breathe,
How to act before I leave,
The things to say and do
Without Hope and Love
Here to guide me.
As a stranger to myself, I'm the only heart left here to say goodbye. So, on behalf of myself...
Goodbye.
Feb 15, 2017
Feb 15, 2017 at 2:47 PM UTC
Sirens signal my coming
with chirps and wails,
Primary lights flashing
to alert them to my presence.
My purpose pumps from a well
that is endlessly deep --
so deep, in fact, that
many shallow people have drowned here.
I don't falter, I don't pause,
I act with precision and skill
to give my charge his best chance
at seeing tomorrow.
Gloriously efficient,
Confidence and purpose
radiate from me
as my insides quiver with fear.
Jan 23, 2016
Jan 23, 2016 at 2:36 PM UTC
I had a friend whom I loved,
but she bedded with a beast.
The beast would beat her regularly,
twice daily at the least.
I begged her and I pleaded her,
“Please leave the beast today.”
No matter how I reasoned, though,
she said there was no way.
She said that she was happy there,
said she was in control,
said she wasn't being ****** into
the terrible black hole.
“Think about your kids,” I said,
“They need their mom to win
this battle with the pills that seem
to always draw you in.”
The sparkle in her eyes went dim,
her laughter sounded forced.
Every visit with her left my
worst fears reinforced.
Finally, I stood my ground,
said that she had to choose.
I thought I'd given her a path
that she could not refuse.
Alas, she chose the pills instead
of keeping me a friend,
this woman that I thought would be
my sister 'til the end.
She kicked me out, she carved me out,
she shut me out and then,
she denied me when I reached out for her
time and time again.
There was a time, however,
when she could not tell me no.
I was there to give her flowers
on her final trip solo.
I stood there at her graveside,
tears streaming down my face,
watching doves fly skyward
at her final resting place.
Jan 21, 2016
Jan 21, 2016 at 3:10 PM UTC