is it possible to fall in and out of love
or do we only love once
and the rest of the time is a skewed version of that first love
or do we never love at all
for we never can truly understand what love is
falling in and out of love is a lie one tells
to cover up the fact that they never loved
or that they don't know how to love
or simply that they can never love again
Dec 20, 2017
Dec 20, 2017 at 8:34 PM UTC
One cannot tell my tears apart from rain
The dark clouds hide my pale and sunken cheeks
And the silence in the air brings me pain
For I think of the long days, months, and weeks
Where I wished I could have been with him
The dreary, bleak light leaves my eyes searching
I walk through the puddles praying a hymn
Muttering foreign phrases, and purging
My soul of all my mistakes and regrets
The damp wind hits my face bringing comfort
Like worms I struggle through mud in distress
The sound of raindrops puts all to slumber
The air is still and all my worries cease
When rain falls my soul tries to be at peace
Dec 6, 2017
Dec 6, 2017 at 9:22 PM UTC
i watched him cry
i broke my promise
i said a stupid lie
i caused this mess.
i made him cry
i laid on his chest
i heard him ask why.
i caused this mess.
Dec 6, 2017
Dec 6, 2017 at 9:03 PM UTC
i keep thinking of the worst
wanting to stop this madness
but i always hear his voice
saying those three easy words
yet i hope i won't hear them
that way i can end it all
maybe one day, but not now.
he loves me so very much
and i love him endlessly
he is what keeps me going.
Dec 6, 2017
Dec 6, 2017 at 8:45 PM UTC
"you want the best for me
but maybe the best for me
is what's worst for you"
Nov 16, 2017
Nov 16, 2017 at 12:38 PM UTC
I used to think that I was in love with you.
But now I realize you were just a go to.
I told you everything, I trusted you
And I thought you trusted me too.
You truly made me feel like the best
But honestly you treated me just like the rest.
Loving you hurt me more than I could show
This whole game, this whole fiasco-
What was I doing? Was I putting on an act?
For what? Me to hold back?-
That's what I did and I'm sorry I couldn't confess to you, myself, and everyone else that I was such a mess.
It wasn't the right time and you weren't the right guy.
And that's exactly the reason, that's exactly why I had to say bye.
You said you saw this coming, so I felt confident
But I hoped and prayed you would at least try stopping it.
Sadly you didn't and that's not what I wanted
But you knew it was what I needed
When I pleaded for you not to leave me
You said, "you want the best for me but maybe the best for me is what's worst for you"
That's when I knew I had to follow through
You told me that I'm stronger than this and there's someone else out there.
Asking to be friends was the worst thing I could have done
I should have just left it and gone on the run
But I asked to stay friends and little did I know
You would go on to call me a ***** and then say I was a **
Hearing this I collapsed crying onto my knees
You knew my heart inside and out and decided to break me
Like it was all some big scheme
Your friends say it's jealousy
But the constant torment hasn't stopped, it hurts me
Why can't you just let me be?
It has been months since we have exchanged a word
And all that I hear you talk about me is absolutely absurd.
I have moved on now and I pray you will too
I truly adored you and I know life isn't fair
But why do you have to hurt me, why do I have to care?
Nov 9, 2017
Nov 9, 2017 at 10:36 PM UTC
If I loved him
If I loved him I would not cry the night away,
I would not hopelessly float in my tears.
If I loved him there would be a smile on my face,
I would not have to worry about being enough,
But that is only if I loved him.
For I know I cannot do so,
My struggles are that of his
For I know that he depends on me
My struggles are too overwhelming for him
Yet I still cannot love him
If I loved him I would bring him down
He deserves more than I can provide
If I loved him we would return to the darkness together
He deserves more than a relationship based off of a confused lie
I want to love him
I chose to love someone else
I told myself I would be better off
I chose to love the second who gave me what I thought I wanted
I told myself that I need someone who doesn’t care for my heart
Now I wish I loved him
Nov 8, 2017
Nov 8, 2017 at 3:42 PM UTC