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charlie-dragon
17/F/London I don't post often i post to relieve stress
They say it takes years to establish a true friendship, I have found a true friend, Or at least I thought I had, Once they see the invisible man, Your true nature, They will abandon you, Their friendship with you, Their trust in yopenness, It will all disappear into the dust, My friends have discovered the monster that is my cancer, I have shared everything with them, Then you have nothing left to share, Now I am all but a memory, A regret in the circle of friends.
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Oct 25, 2017
Oct 25, 2017 at 3:34 PM UTC
Friends with a monster
You don't tell your friends that suicide is selfish. You tell them that they're loved.
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Jun 4, 2017
Jun 4, 2017 at 4:26 AM UTC
What's Selfish
Dear Faith, i just wanted to say i love you and i hope you get better. i have so many questions i want to ask you like why? why didn't you tell me? let me know you were feeling like this? i wish i could of helped you, and it didn't have to end up like this. i love you more then anything you mean the world to me, you are my best friend my rock, my saviour. but im sorry you were feeling the way you were, but please things will get better i promise you! im always here for you and that will never change i promise you! and thats one promise i defiantly know i wont break for all those times you said you were a bad mum, you arent for all the times you said you were ugly baby you are beautiful i need to finish this but im crying i just want you to know how much you mean to me and how much it would destroy me if you were to leave... and how about Caden? your beautiful baby boy! how would he feel not growing up without his mum? knowing how beautiful she is how amazing and kind she is... Because no one can compare to you Aunty Maddii cant live up to those expectations so Faith, my darling i love you so much, we can get through this together! i promise i will save up all the money in the world to come and see you one day, and it will just be the three of us You, Caden and Aunty Maddii I love you Faith x
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Jun 4, 2017
Jun 4, 2017 at 4:22 AM UTC
Dear My Beautiful Best Friend
When she was born Her relatives spat on the ground, Called her mother a witch And said "The only thing she's good for is dowry". By 6 years old She understood what being a girl meant; Be still and quiet Your opinion is irrelevant . At 11 she watched her brothers go to school As she sat in the kitchen, Doing 'the work of a woman', With tears of longing streaming down her face. At 17, she slept with a man who was 67 Living with the cruel hand she'd been dealt; How did she raise 2 children When she was still a child herself? At 35, no longer a child bride She was replaced, With a girl that had not Even come of age. She held the young woman And dried her tears. She understood her sorrow She had felt it for years. But this was her destiny, Her role from birth. To be the silent weeper, The cleaner, the mother, The lover; who would never know Love. At 65 she's died, Buried next to a man she never even knew. Not a single male cries, Her funeral attended by few. So why the abuse? Why so much pain? Why raise such a brave soul in vain? One rebellious voice cries, With tears streaming down her face "If only she were male!" She looks to me and says "You wish to know, why she could have had no joy? The answer is simple They wanted a boy"
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Jun 4, 2017
Jun 4, 2017 at 4:21 AM UTC
They wanted a boy
As I lay in my bed, My parents scream, I lay in my bed and ignore the things they say, Today my parents decide, Tomorrow the aftershocks will be felt, But today I lay in my bed and reminisce about the past and future, Tomorrow tears will be shed, Fits will come out, Counciling will be in session, Custodies will be settled, But not today, I'll sit in the car as we drive, Avoiding any form of eye contact, I wonder if I was responsible for this, Maybe I was, Tomorrow I will consider it farther, But today the family needs to be consoled, We have to stick together, So today I will forget about my... the thoughts in my head and consider the family. Today I hug my sister, Forgetting the awkwardness, She cries, I letting go of my pride cry with her, We go out and just talk more, Unable to handle the situation by ourselves, Tomorrow we will be closer, But today her and I just cry together,
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Jun 4, 2017
Jun 4, 2017 at 4:17 AM UTC
Divorce
I see her as I look across the hallway I watch her work The way she bites her lip as she writes Her eyes flick up to yours and you look away Pretending not to see her The conversations you have About crushes is not about her To your friends Your one true love is James from maths Not her Because you fear what they think The one word that will ruin your life ****** The word that stings your ears Something that you wish you could hide Something you don't want to embrace Something that kills you inside So you don't speak to her in the hallway You don't return her smile You. Let her think you hate her You swallow up your pride Because you don't really know what's happening Because you have to be sure Because people's words sting They hurt But what do they know If you don't speak your mind Then you have no voice at all Go to pride Go have fun Go with your loved ones Go make your own path Don't let other people's opinions shape your future. Choose your own path, if you can't find it then it's up to you to make i.
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Jun 3, 2017
Jun 3, 2017 at 4:35 PM UTC
Another pride poem
Red is the colour of passion, The colour she died her hair. Orange is the colour of a carnation, So pure and so fair, Yellow is the colour of Happiness, The joy and glee in a smile. Green is the colour of nature, So fresh and refreshing. Blue is the colour of sadness, When you need a helping hand. Indigo is the colour underneath your eyes, When you stay up late with those you love. Violet is the colour of her ribbon, When she leaves your room at dawn. Love is beautiful, Love is special. Don't let it go by you. COME TO PRIDE Find yourself
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Jun 2, 2017
Jun 2, 2017 at 1:55 PM UTC
Pride
She is a cup of coffee The way she glides across the classroom to her seat The way her hair bounces like the foam on top She is smooth and beautiful I love the idea of her and her smell And her rich completion The way her dark skin feels and the way she talks She is a cup of coffee She seems nice on the outside But after one task She is bitter, and gives you a good kick She talks behind their backs and sniggers She cackles an evil laugh But in the end She is the cup of coffee I will never have The cup of coffee I regret not having
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May 19, 2017
May 19, 2017 at 6:21 PM UTC
Not my cup of tea
9 YEARS OLD Daddy told me I'm special, I'm his perfect little girl. Daddy leaves bruises on my body Daddy doesn't hit me he says "it was only a smack" 10 YEARS OLD Daddy told me that i am slow If I carry on this way i will never get a job He moves me to another school I don't care, at least here they wont make fun of my mum, 11 YEARS OLD I cant keep up with my school work the class moves to fast my father hits, punches and slaps my father breaks my pencil i tell my friend that he snapped my pencil Daddy overhears he says "don't tell people what happens at home or daddy will go to jail" I didn't think that what he was doing was wrong I thought that everyone got this too 12 YEARS OLD I'm in a school and having lots of fun Daddy says to make no friends that i shouldn't trust anyone he doesn't hit anymore he threatens me at home 15 YEARS OLD I have few friends that know nothing about my home My parents are no longer together and i feel completely alone I have no trust no family nothing at all Daddy tells me i can tell him everything I tell him how i feel He hits my wall, i see his eyes turn red Daddy says "If you were my son i would his the crap out of you" because he thinks that its ok to his a boy but not a girl and that is not ok. i want to die i cant go on I look him in the eye this is not my Daddy this is a man, who i have never known He thinks im going to **** myself so he leaves me with with one thing The man says "If you **** yourself, i Will **** myself" to try to make me feel guilty it only makes me think that If my death will result in his then the world is better off without me
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May 13, 2017
May 13, 2017 at 6:18 AM UTC
DADDY SAID NO
9 YEARS OLD Daddy told me I'm special, I'm his perfect little girl. Daddy leaves bruises on my body Daddy doesn't hit me he says "it was only a smack" 10 YEARS OLD Daddy told me that i am slow If I carry on this way i will never get a job He moves me to another school I don't care, at least here they wont make fun of my mum, 11 YEARS OLD I cant keep up with my school work the class moves to fast my father hits, punches and slaps my father breaks my pencil i tell my friend that he snapped my pencil Daddy overhears he says "don't tell people what happens at home or daddy will go to jail" I didn't think that what he was doing was wrong I thought that everyone got this too 12 YEARS OLD I'm in a school and having lots of fun Daddy says to make no friends that i shouldn't trust anyone he doesn't hit anymore he threatens me at home 15 YEARS OLD I have few friends that know nothing about my home My parents are no longer together and i feel completely alone I have no trust no family nothing at all Daddy tells me i can tell him everything I tell him how i feel He hits my wall, i see his eyes turn red Daddy says "If you were my son i would his the crap out of you" because he thinks that its ok to his a boy but not a girl and that is not ok. i want to die i cant go on I look him in the eye this is not my Daddy this is a man, who i have never known He thinks im going to **** myself so he leaves me with with one thing The man says "If you **** yourself, i Will **** myself" to try to make me feel guilty it only makes me think that If my death will result in his then the world is better off without me
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I say hello My nametag dangles from my lanyard "Hello, my name is Liz Pronouns are kye/kyr" it says They see the lanyard and they laugh. "Those aren't pronouns!" they say "She is messed up." Shut up. A 300lb woman looks into the mirror she sighs remembering her peers' words "You should lose weight." "You're very overweight." "Your obeseity is your fault." A 75lb woman looks into the mirror Her anorexia laughs remembering the 300lb woman she used to be her peers then tell her "You need to gain weight." Shut up. Shut up. The boy hides his face Not giving the teacher eye contact The teacher calls his name His stomach flips upside-down She called on him on purpose he just knows it In front of the class expectant, judgemental eyes glaring Instinct tells him to run He looks at his notecards All he sees is chickenscratch The teacher hangs her head in disappointment and growls "Just sit down if you have nothing to say." Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. A girl drags hersef through the day Everything is black and white Coming home to wild parents Who hit her constanty and then claim "I love you." Excuses, excuses. For every welt, mark and bruise But when she gets one on her face- She had given one, too. In fact, she had given many How generous she was! The police came and arrest the girl. All she heard was "Her mother is dead." Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Take a breath the girl tells herself She goes to her parents They stare, wide-eyed at her dress, eyeliner and nails they just stare. She tells them her new identity They tell her "Chris. You aren't a girl. You're a boy." Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. You read a poem titled "Shut Up" About the hardships The unfair, the despair of living life. Please know Opinions don't matter If you are happy, who cares what they think? If they criticize you Just smile and say Shut up.
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May 13, 2017
May 13, 2017 at 5:55 AM UTC
Shut Up
I say hello My nametag dangles from my lanyard "Hello, my name is Liz Pronouns are kye/kyr" it says They see the lanyard and they laugh. "Those aren't pronouns!" they say "She is messed up." Shut up. A 300lb woman looks into the mirror she sighs remembering her peers' words "You should lose weight." "You're very overweight." "Your obeseity is your fault." A 75lb woman looks into the mirror Her anorexia laughs remembering the 300lb woman she used to be her peers then tell her "You need to gain weight." Shut up. Shut up. The boy hides his face Not giving the teacher eye contact The teacher calls his name His stomach flips upside-down She called on him on purpose he just knows it In front of the class expectant, judgemental eyes glaring Instinct tells him to run He looks at his notecards All he sees is chickenscratch The teacher hangs her head in disappointment and growls "Just sit down if you have nothing to say." Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. A girl drags hersef through the day Everything is black and white Coming home to wild parents Who hit her constanty and then claim "I love you." Excuses, excuses. For every welt, mark and bruise But when she gets one on her face- She had given one, too. In fact, she had given many How generous she was! The police came and arrest the girl. All she heard was "Her mother is dead." Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Take a breath the girl tells herself She goes to her parents They stare, wide-eyed at her dress, eyeliner and nails they just stare. She tells them her new identity They tell her "Chris. You aren't a girl. You're a boy." Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. You read a poem titled "Shut Up" About the hardships The unfair, the despair of living life. Please know Opinions don't matter If you are happy, who cares what they think? If they criticize you Just smile and say Shut up.
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