i finally learned to love myself, but everyone else forgot
Jan 26, 2015
Jan 26, 2015 at 8:38 PM UTC
1. We are critical.
We find flaws in
everything we see
because nobody
wants to write
about perfection,
even though sometimes
we wish we could just stay
staring into that
unblemished surface.
2. We are never satisfied.
We live our lives upon
mountains of
scrunched up
bits of refill and
ideas we gave up
trying to
express.
3. We never forget.
We write words about
eye contact made
three months ago
that we replay over
and over in our minds
even though it
stopped
being relevant.
4. We are fickle.
Our emotions flash
from one
to the other
like strobe lighting that
disorientates us
until we feel as if
the world
will never be still.
5. We are exposed.
We don't know how
to keep our feelings
to ourselves so
we'll write them
down for
you to find
'accidentally'.
6. We are vulnerable.
We wear our
hearts on our sleeves
and won't lift a
muscle to fight back
if somebody tries
to break it
because we thrive
from the pain.
7. We will never stop.
We will never stop
feeling and
we will never stop
hurting,
we will never stop
breaking and
bleeding and
loving
even though the cycle
is endless
and we know what's
coming next.
We are addicted
to agony,
but we agonise
for the art.
Dec 19, 2014
Dec 19, 2014 at 10:20 AM UTC
i have always existed as a jigsaw puzzle
with one last missing piece
and i have become weary of always
feeling the hollow ache inside of me,
no matter how hard i tried to fill it in
with counterfeit promises and infinite chances
but i have searched for love
in his voice and in the blurry moments
we spent together with his head thrown back
in genuine laughter, and how i thought that his hands
were the only things
that could hold me together,
when everything left in the world
could not
i thought i had finally found love
in the form of blind indecision
but now, you aren’t even here to hold me together,
you aren’t here to fill up the spaces inside
where nothing exists,
instead,
you made the emptiness
feel so much bigger
and I wonder,
a pair of lips locked together
without magnetism,
is it still true love
or just a
distraction?
Dec 12, 2014
Dec 12, 2014 at 1:38 PM UTC
I toss and turn.
Much like the sea.
I can no longer inhale the air you're breathing.
It's as if we are no longer words apart...
But chapters instead.
Maybe even further away than that.
I'm confused as to who you think I am.
I'm even more confused as to who you really are...
Do I wait?
Or should I keep turning the pages without you?
Dec 9, 2014
Dec 9, 2014 at 10:01 AM UTC
Every night that surpasses us feeds me disappointment. The days go on and you are no longer the one you once were. Afraid to become infatuated this new identity, I knew my heart cannot be attacked for my guard will no longer fall to your knees. The love we both were familiar with has dwindled out and it's all because of you.
Dec 8, 2014
Dec 8, 2014 at 2:23 AM UTC
You’re the meteor shower I stay awake all night for.
Dec 8, 2014
Dec 8, 2014 at 1:18 AM UTC
The nights spent next to you are no longer filled with excitement and your body next to me seems so lifeless in the morning. Every good morning kiss begins to feel like a good-bye and the routinely I love you is going bland. We told ourselves we wouldn't get in too deep, but honey we're stuck here with no place to go but our separate ways.
Dec 8, 2014
Dec 8, 2014 at 1:12 AM UTC
& tomorrow morning while she opens her eyes, kiss her neck to make sure she wakes up with a smile. Don’t get up & cook her a fancy breakfast that she’ll only eat half of, instead lay there & play with her hand as the sun rays bright up the room. As the smell of her skin enlightens your life. Despite of how much she criticizes her hands, let her see how much of a perfect fit they are for yours. Of how after long days of sailing her hands are the lighthouse your boat will always follow in search of home. Play with her hair until she falls back asleep & listen to her heartbeat, watch her dream. & while she’s slipping away from the world tell her everything. Of how you at times miss her even after just seeing her. Of how you melt every time she says your name. Of how every letter to hers has become everything to you. Of how she completes you. Tell her how you bruised your knuckles in breaking your walls to have her come in & sat there for days & watched them bleed out every bit of doubt yet you never emptied them out. How you refused to show her fearing she’d hurt in trying to fix them & realizing she couldn’t heal all of me. But tell her she was always enough for me. Tell her 10 or 40 years from now while wheelchair shopping, I’ll still look at her & feel the world stop. How I’ll always carry a piece of her & how she’ll always have a hug saved with me.
Dec 5, 2014
Dec 5, 2014 at 11:40 PM UTC
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
My world was once devoted to you.
Daises are yellow,
Carnations are pink,
Our souls no longer stay in sync.
Heathers are mauve,
Lilies are white,
I can no longer battle this fight.
The bruises turn purple,
The scabs turn brown,
I think it's time to put my foot down.
I begin to see black,
Your knuckles bleed red,
What goes on inside your head?
I see the white light
And you begin to realize,
"Why, oh why, was I not right?"
Dec 4, 2014
Dec 4, 2014 at 11:58 PM UTC