Just one more
One becomes two
becomes three
becomes four
becomes far too many more
It's never just one
One's no fun,
If you're gonna do it,
Just do it. Don't run
The temptation returns
You tell yourself it'll just be one
But you lose control
Just look at what you've done.
Made yourself bleed again
Better cover it up
Because you can't let the world know
That you cut.
Jul 1, 2022
Jul 1, 2022 at 10:01 PM UTC
In my head,
all I can hear is screaming.
It's the screams of her.
It's her classmates.
It's the screams of people being shot.
It's my classmates.
It's my teacher.
It's my teacher screaming to sacrifice themself for us.
It's screaming.
It's the scream of bullets hitting the glass.
It's the bullets hitting the walls.
It's my screaming.
It's all screaming
And the worst part is
I can't tell whose scream is who's anymore.
Apr 22, 2022
Apr 22, 2022 at 12:14 AM UTC
I'm fine
Can't you tell?
Just look in my eyes
Look at the blank and empty stare I give you
And hear my words
Hear the way my voice shakes at first
But you'll never hear a hesitation in the answer
And the way that every day it's always the same response that bursts
I'm fine
I'm always fine
(There's always a lie)
But the people never see
Because a smile and a warm hello
Are enough for those people who wouldn't
give it a second thought.
So of course I'm fine,
why wouldn't I be?
What gives it away?
Is it the way you hear my voice shake?
Is it the fact there's never a hesitation in the answer?
I'm fine
Always
Every second of every day when they ask me.
I'm fine...
Or is it the fact that my smile and warm greeting
are so vastly different from the behaviour I display when I
think no one's watching?
Or maybe I'm thinking about it too much
because no one is ever watching
They're too focused
on the answer
I'm fine.
They never will see the truth
behind the answer because I will never
show
it
to
anyone
And even on the nights that I cry myself to sleep
over a job I feel unable to do
or a life I feel unable to live,
I'm always fine.
The people will never see it
because I'm fine.
I'm always fine.
(There's always a lie)
But no one else will see that
because I carry myself with pride
I hide and show the face life
and the accolades and awards
that I keep up as a wall
because without it,
I'm nothing at all.
I'm not really fine
but the people never see it.
I can never show them the truth
So I write my feelings in sad poetry
The words that come from the pages
are the same as the blood I bleed,
and I'm waiting for someone to read it
to see.
I'm fine.
It's the standard response
that or 'i'm okay'
Or if I can't cover it,
'I'm tired' seems to do the trick
because for those few who actually look,
my behaviour may come across tired.
The sleepy eyes
the slow responses
the way I don't carry myself as tall as usual
"It's all fine,
they're just tired"
I'm fine.
And nobody ever gives it a
second thought.
I'm (not) fine.
Apr 22, 2022
Apr 22, 2022 at 12:09 AM UTC
My eyes feel heavy
So I let them fall
Having no idea what
Lied beyond the wall
Once drifting away
From the painful world
I saw something in my mind
That made my blood curl
I saw the body
Of my best friend
Riddled with the bullets
That made her meet her end.
I stood there in shock
Inside my head
For a second, forgetting,
She was already dead.
I ran towards her
Tried to hold her close
But she started to fade away
And that hurt me the most
Seeing her standing up
Knowing she wasn't there
And although I knew she was gone
I simply didn't care
I tried to scream
I tried to shout
But not a single sound
came out
I tried to remind myself
she's already dead
But for some reason
She was there inside my head
I looked up again
Trying to see the sky
But there she was, riddled again
With the shots that made her die.
It's an endless circle
Of seeing her there
And running up to hug her
But she fades into the air.
Jun 3, 2021
Jun 3, 2021 at 7:58 PM UTC
As the trumpet screams
In my face
I transport myself
To a better place
I keep the rain
Behind the glass
No one will see
If no one asks
The volume of the trumpet
Makes me want to crouch down
But I know if I don’t stand tall
I’ll never wear the crown
So though internally I fall
I keep a strong face
Drying up the rainfall
In a record pace
Although I love the trumpet
It’s making lots of noise
And this time I will not fight
I’ll just listen to its voice
To stand tall in the loudness
Will be hard at first
I know that in the end
I’ll see what its worth
I need not be frightened
For I’ve faced the trumpet before
And I know that though it hurts,
Soon I’ll open the door
So, as the trumpet screams in my face
I wait for it to be over
And unlike all the others, this time
I keep my composure
Sep 9, 2020
Sep 9, 2020 at 7:58 PM UTC
I felt myself float away from the body
Of mine that was left for dead
The thieves got away with all the money
But I knew that wasn't the end
As a ghost im like the winter wind
Cold and ever growing
And thieves like any criminal
Have smiles that are never glowing
Invisible I float around
Seeing things that they could not
So I crept up to the police officer
And told her to take the shot
The body went "THUD" and fell to the floor
And all the money was saved
All because I, a small timid ghost
Told somebody else to be brave.
Aug 24, 2020
Aug 24, 2020 at 9:29 PM UTC
It's dark outside and I feel somewhat alive
though in the day I do not thrive
I can no longer strive
to stick around
Most days I just need to be found
When everything on the outside is so loud
and all I can do is frown
And with death I make deals
Have you ever been so trapped in your head
that most days you wish you were dead
have you gone days stuck in your bed
Do you know how it feels?
When all around you starts to fall
And you know you can't stand tall
The only thing you say while the room is turning
is that your whole world is burning
Each time I fall asleep and dream
I want a life where I'm on a team
or something like that where I mean
something in someone else's hell
And I know I can't always tell
When people are trapped in a cell
There isn't a sign or a bell
I can't always see the sad meals
But I know what it's like
for the world to collapse
To fall apart around you
I know how it feels
When its all aflame
And you want to burn too...
Jun 11, 2020
Jun 11, 2020 at 7:07 PM UTC
Don't close up darling
You'll find a way
Maybe not tomorrow
But one day
Don't give up darling
I promise you
You're not alone
I'm like you too
Just open up darling
Let it all out
Don't let it stop you
All of your doubt
Open up darling
Just let me know
How I can help you
Open up
Speak up darling
Do not be afraid
For one day you'll realize
How to be brave
Lift up darling
I know you want to hide
But it's dangerous to keep it all
locked up inside
I know its hard
I've been where you are
Not knowing how far
they'll listen
But it's worth it
to open up...
Just open up darling
Let it all out
Don't let it stop you
All of your doubt
Open up darling
Just let me know
How I can help you
Open up
Jun 11, 2020
Jun 11, 2020 at 7:03 PM UTC
No matter how long I cried
Or wanted to die
I never let you break me
Cause quite frankly
I knew you would hate me
either way.
Jun 11, 2020
Jun 11, 2020 at 7:00 PM UTC
No matter what I do
or how hard I try
I can't turn back time
to say goodbye
So young, little angel,
now that's what you are
everybody misses you,
even those afar.
You had so much ahead of you
you were going to change the world
you had massive plans,
just a 16 year old girl.
And now you don't get the chance
to do any of that
if only I were given the chance
to go and take it back
What I wouldn't give
to say goodbye
What I wouldn't give
for you to survive
I would give anything
to turn back time
and keep you alive.
Jun 11, 2020
Jun 11, 2020 at 7:00 PM UTC