To the girl with sky painted across her room
Filling the space with light fluffy clouds
Clouds dancing across her brain
Filling her with new thoughts
Remember those joyful thoughts
To the girl who has two people
Two of her people
They are the people she goes to
When she needs it the most
Hang on to them
Two of YOUR people is better than a hundred people
To the girl who’s family doesn’t talk
They don’t talk about the hard things
Not because they don’t matter
But they don’t want you to worry
Little did they know
Now you can’t talk when you need to
To the girl who’s grandmother is dying
You have prepared
You have always known how this will end
You have convinced yourself that you have dealt with it
But you are still terrified of the missing space
She will leave behind once she is truly gone
To the girl crying as she reads this
Let it out
Let in all the fluffy white clouds
They will be your salvation
Storm clouds will only be around for as long as they roll by
Storms end
To the girl that needs to hear this
It’s okay to not always be strong
Let down your walls when your ready
But living without anyone really knowing you
Leaves you even more vulnerable
Learn to lean on others
And get up when the ones who didn’t work out drop you
To the girl that is me
Just keep breathing
Keep relying on them
Keep distracting yourself
But live and love like the world is crumbling around you
Take risks
Apr 28, 2020
Apr 28, 2020 at 7:57 PM UTC
We sit opposite of one another
Across a crowded room
You stare at my eyes
Hoping to hold my gaze
I avoid this action
As well as I can
We are in a crowded room
yet it feels like only me and you
We never speak
Not with words
But our actions are just as confusing
We dare not break our silence
Because the silence is deafening
But speaking is fatal
We can never recover from either
And we were doomed the day we met
Nov 5, 2019
Nov 5, 2019 at 9:09 PM UTC
I have built a life
I have fought for it
I have fought to be a part of it
I have built a house of cards
and I realized I want to knock it down
Sep 16, 2019
Sep 16, 2019 at 9:23 PM UTC
Holy **** I hate myself
I have worked for years trying to be a good person
To now realize I have failed
Holy **** I hate who I have become
I have allowed myself to be exactly what I despise
A close minded inconsiderate person
Holy **** I hate who I am when I am with you
Where do I go from here
I have so much work to do to regain the person I was
Holy **** I am rebuilding myself from ground up
This time it won't be a house of cards
Sep 11, 2019
Sep 11, 2019 at 9:29 PM UTC
Someone said it once
Now I live by it
I push everyone away
When all I want
is for someone to pull me close
Aug 8, 2019
Aug 8, 2019 at 11:59 PM UTC
I have decided
Maybe out of self pity
Maybe out of loneliness
I am cursed to only every write drafts
Never to address the ****** letters
Never to let the man I love truely know how I feel
For I am fearful and sure of the facts
And one of those abominable facts is that he does not love me
And he never will
Maybe one day I can break this curse
But that day is not today
Jul 13, 2019
Jul 13, 2019 at 10:18 PM UTC
You only have to smile at me
And the crinkles around your eyes
Make me fall
Your light is infectious
And I am disease riden
I am weightless in your presence
You are my disease and cure
you only have to smile
For my soul to be saved
Jun 10, 2019
Jun 10, 2019 at 9:25 PM UTC
My curse is falling for those
Who could never love me
A cycle of destruction
Of self loathing
To remind myself that
he will never love you
For he still loves her
Jun 10, 2019
Jun 10, 2019 at 9:22 PM UTC
I think I fell again
It's never on purpose I swear
my heart is insane
Once again I am starting to tear
I have to sit by and watch
As time flys by and you move on
I will be staring at my wristwatch
Once again I will slowly become more withdrawn
This time will be worse
I know how I feel and what will occur
I can't help feeling like I'm cursed
because we all know who you prefer
Once again she is not me
I am not her
I will not be picked, on that I think we can agree
So I will work as my own silencer
Once again I will stand in the background
Supporting you as much as I can
with my heart drowned
wishing my heart had stuck to the plan
Once again its too late
I am left standing alone
feeling as if its fate
I just wish I had known
That you like him too
but you didn't even know
So once again I will try not to be blue
I try to turn it into the sunshine glow
May 24, 2019
May 24, 2019 at 10:11 PM UTC