my daddy told me
when i was young
if a man ever broke my heart
if a man ever made me cry
he would make it better
he would put my broken pieces back together
that made me happy
yet here i am
three heartbreaks in
and he is nowhere in sight
because
he left
and
he broke my heart
he broke his promise
here i am
wishing he was here too
but
i finally realized
i am strong
i dont need anyone to fix me
i am capable of putting my broken pieces back together
by myself
it has been this way all long
Nov 17, 2014
Nov 17, 2014 at 12:57 PM UTC
if youre looking down on me
send me guidance
send me luck
send me love
thats all i desire
Nov 16, 2014
Nov 16, 2014 at 3:56 PM UTC
you had taught me how to love
and made me believe that it would last forever
you put up with my mood swings
my mental breakdowns
held me when i was sad
wiped my tears away
you listened to me when i rambled on about my father
who had left out of the blue
you told me everything was going to be okay
because you promised you would be there for me
you knew what i was feeling even when i didnt say a word
you knew me better than i knew myself
but you lead me on to believe you would be by my side forever
through thick and thin
yet here i am
alone
heartbroken
you told me you were disappointed in me
and my lack of motivtion
because i was glued to bed
because i was depressed
and you left
because "you didnt want to be in a relationship"
but you and i both know
you didnt want to support me
you had your own problems to worry about
Nov 15, 2014
Nov 15, 2014 at 6:08 PM UTC
my boyfriend told me i was codependent
that i relied on him for happiness
when i tried arguing with him
i realized i was stumbling on my words
absolutely tongue twisted
confused
with the fact that i couldn't find
another reason
why
i'm happy
Aug 15, 2014
Aug 15, 2014 at 12:08 AM UTC
does it make sense
that i miss you
even when youre beside me?
Aug 14, 2014
Aug 14, 2014 at 11:45 PM UTC
black black holes and white white stars, circling, dancing in the that black black sky and from it tears of blue blue rain falls in time with our sorrows. red red blood pumped through our veins and our red red hearts pumped in tune of our favorite song and we couldn't feel pain and we couldn't feel love but we took what we could and that was enough. i stubbed my toe when i was nine and i smashed my hand falling out your green green tree in your green green yard and stained the ground a dark red red. the white white doctors were baffled by the thought that i felt no pain and i just said it was because of your brown brown eyes and the way it felt like a blue blue ocean i lost myself in. maybe i drowned in those blue blue eyes and my pain was lost in the white white surf and that was all i needed to know and that was enough. when i was twelve there was boy in my class who called me names like "fatty" and "ugly" which weren't original but stung like knives and when i held his hand on the fourth of july and kissed his nose under the bright bright lights it didn't feel anything quite like you, but that was enough. do you remember that on that day of bright bright flowers and white white daisies and gold gold marigolds and we sat on a blue blue blanket listening to our song and we held hands and kissed noses and i felt all of you but you felt none of me? i guess that's how the story goes and that is enough and enough is enough and when i turned twenty-one we drank too much and you went home under the black black sky and you said you felt all of me but i felt none of you and that is enough. i drank myself to death into a deep deep hole in the dead dead ground and i finally felt all of you but you felt none of me and enough is enough.
Jul 22, 2014
Jul 22, 2014 at 8:34 PM UTC
there are a million stars and half a million gas stations between you and me but that doesn’t equal distance. day breaks, day shatters into evanescent pieces that float on the edge of my conscious mind, but you are the constant. your eyes the color of ground hazelnuts have always been my constant.
it doesn’t matter that we are separate beings because, here, in the light of a setting sun and a milky twilight, we are one. we are melted together like hershey kisses in a bowl on a summer evening and worry is not a word and slowly, you become my kryptonite.
missed phone calls, missed deadlines, missed laughs. i used to count your sneezes in the biting chill of early february and wrap your arms around my waist so i could feel like something was keeping my balloon from flying into the void where lost balloons go. i blame myself for letting you hold on until i finally took flight, spreading my wings out behind me like an angel's and kicking the invisible dust into your face.
now there are two million stars and a million gas stations between us because i am trying to forget that you ever broke the carefully crafted walls that contained all of my closeted skeletons.
i’m starting to remember why i never liked hazelnuts.
Jul 22, 2014
Jul 22, 2014 at 8:32 PM UTC
my moods
fluctuate
constantly
changing like the seasons
quicker
extreme high
and
extreme low
points
there is no in between
i have lost control
of my own mind
May 27, 2014
May 27, 2014 at 1:11 AM UTC
i can honestly say,
there hasnt been
one day
in the past year
where i havent been
anxious,
stressed,
scared.
but lately,
i have been free
from
suffering,
and
worrying.
for the first time
in a long time
i am
happy,
relieved,
content,
with being.
i never thought
i would make it
this far.
May 22, 2014
May 22, 2014 at 9:47 AM UTC
Nothing bothers me more
Than not knowing what is running through your mind
When you are silent
When you are not beside me
May 9, 2014
May 9, 2014 at 12:11 AM UTC