my home before i knew what home was
i miss you more everyday
Sep 26, 2021
Sep 26, 2021 at 8:42 PM UTC
a hard truth.
a hard truth is to tell you i can't bare the thought of you
not believing me.
a hard truth is telling you i cant be with you if you don't believe me.
That is my hardest truth.
To lose you to show you i have been nothing but faithful,
to rip my soulmate from myself,
to take everything away from myself,
to beg you to see,
to have patience,
to still love you unconditionally for years knowing you think i'm capable of evil things,
trying to prove to you i simply would never.
This is a hard truth.
May 27, 2020
May 27, 2020 at 4:42 PM UTC
Waiting for you is like waiting to die.
Slow and heavy,
like a reoccurring bad dream.
This is my nightmare.
It's as if every moment was painted meticulously
by my own mind.
It's a perfect mess
And you?
You best be careful my dear,
for your true colors are making a comeback.
As are mine,
i dont learn.
Apr 19, 2020
Apr 19, 2020 at 11:44 PM UTC
Matter cannot be created or destroyed/
How much you matter to me cannot be destroyed,
and for me to matter cannot be created.
I dont matter to you,
so dont pretend that i do.
It is ridiculous to expect anything in return for relentlessly being there when someone has no one else to help them to become whole again.
I did it purely out of love.
Still, i lie here hollowed out by expectations,
alone,
reaching for company that has long forgotten.
Dec 28, 2019
Dec 28, 2019 at 1:10 AM UTC
Trim away the rose bush,
watch them as they fall.
Its all just for the better,
so make sure you get them all.
Trim away that rose bush,
but watch for all the thorns.
Darling do not make this difficult,
please, can you not see all their horns?
My dear defenseless rose bush,
you only wish to grow.
protective and supportive,
but for some reason i must let you go.
Sep 22, 2019
Sep 22, 2019 at 12:35 PM UTC
I am drunk.
Drunk surrounded by my four walls that have never even heard talk of sin.
crickets scream, and my candle fills the room with the smells of autumn.
i feel surprisingly calm,
or maybe that's just the wine.
Cheers to finally getting some sleep
Sep 7, 2019
Sep 7, 2019 at 1:35 AM UTC
Perhaps the reason there is so much suffering in this world is because
We aren't made for this world
Sep 4, 2019
Sep 4, 2019 at 1:12 AM UTC
Feels like a century has gone by.
The air is still as dense as that day,
and my heart heavy.
Thunder strikes my window as i struggle
to breathe for just one more day.
Sep 4, 2019
Sep 4, 2019 at 1:00 AM UTC
There was once a song that
spoke of home.
Where wood settled, and memories filled every wall.
Unbreakable,
our roots pierced deep.
This home was north,
and north was you.
I always knew where to find it,
and without it I am lost.
Without a direction life feels wrong,
all while my heart is certain you are the half i need.
Hope is my Achilles heel,
as i wait for a home that no longer welcomes me.
Sep 4, 2019
Sep 4, 2019 at 12:33 AM UTC
I am jolted awake.
Sweaty and confused, the truth of my world sets in.
My nightmares have become my reality,
and i'm ashamed to admit i was awoken crying your name.
Not even metaphorically, I legitimately cried myself awake.
I was not aware it was possible for sadness to transcend through your dreams in such a way, and i'm forced to let the wave pass the best i can.
I have never woken up with the confirmation that you
truly are gone,
and i mean nothing to you.
My dreams are now strictly you fulfilled by the world and others,
meeting new people to replace me,
while i scream your name into nothingness.
mehh
come back please
Aug 27, 2019
Aug 27, 2019 at 4:52 AM UTC