annalyse-matthews
American
I am a dabbler of the arts. I enjoy writing, photography and painting though I am far from being a professional in any of these categories. I love God above all else. When I love, I love hard, and with my whole being. I grew up in hidden poverty and strive to not have to hide poverty from my future children.
Trespassing in the dark,
In a place I should have never been,
Soft and sweet,
Awakening desire,
I was happy it was him,
He was wishing for another.
Aug 6, 2015
Aug 6, 2015 at 10:23 AM UTC
The weight of your grace and mercy
rides on the shoulders
of my sense of justice,
because what is just
about you paying
for my sins of brokenness?
May 19, 2014
May 19, 2014 at 6:47 PM UTC
Struggles plague or day to day,
poverty stricken,
and heartbroken.
We search for meaning,
for love,
in an unlit room and no light to guide us.
We are striving for the American dream,
but even if we reach it,
we would not know true joy.
We fight the pain with numbness.
In anger we lash out with arrogant fists,
and lustful bodies.
Telling our creator off.
Telling him "We are in control!"
Telling him to intervene.
because we cannot live through
another rejection,
another loss.
With arms bloodied from the glass vase we threw at him
he embraces us with his love.
And as he looks us in our eyes with tears, we caused,
streaming down his face,
we are enveloped in His grace.
We wait for words of anger to pour from his lips
and instead, out falls
undeserved mercy.
Our creator knew we would strive
for worldly glory
and earthly treasure.
He knew we would fight him every step of the way and
he forgave our sins
before we were even a whisper in our mothers hearts.
As we beg him to save us from the next rejection,
we reject him.
We worthless reject the one worth all.
He loves us through our doubts,
our fears,
our anger
because he sees through our worthlessness,
to the hidden worth,
that he created.
As he is strung up on a cross
of our wrongdoings
we scream the unfairness of our circumstance.
As if our pain was a cruel prank he played
and not a result
of our own disobedience.
Our cries of injustice at a
back-of-lot parking space reach the ears
of the man bleeding and bashed for
our lies and selfishness.
He implores his father to forgive us,
knowing we are going to do it again.
That is the beauty of faith:
A father who loves
A spirit that guides
A son that died
for us,
for you,
for me,
even for me.
May 19, 2014
May 19, 2014 at 6:44 PM UTC
I wish to lay down my head
in your lap
and cry
as you play with my hair
to feel the love
and protection you share
your arms are strong
but your heart is the muscle I need
to feel that I belong
am loved
am safe
from my own doubts
and fears
my own hands
I wish to lay down my head
in your lap
and cry
as you stroke my hair
Mar 16, 2014
Mar 16, 2014 at 2:42 PM UTC
I think I lied to you.
lied to myself.
I said I "used to"
because it is my wish.
but not true yet.
Every time you sing,
I doubt
the "used to" that I claim.
Every time you give me that playful smile
I flutter
and the "used to" fades.
I forget
that I "used to".
Past not present tense.
I build a wall
with bricks and mortar
created from "used to".
Meant to protect me
from your love
for me, as a friend.
for her, as more.
I want to "used to"
but I forget that I "used to"
and I start to,
all over again.
Mar 16, 2014
Mar 16, 2014 at 2:25 PM UTC
I want to be loved by a poet
for his words would wash away sorrow
I'd live a life caressed by metaphors
and kissed by imagery
I want to be loved by a poet
Expressions of love would have me flipping through a dictionary
expanding my knowledge of what means
love
I want to be loved by a poet
to live in a world where eyes and stars
are synonymous
and every spoken line is a riddle of truth
I want to be loved by a realist
for there would be no mystery behind the lines
life would be empty of
guessed meaning
I want to be loved by a realist
to never need to question or decipher what I have
Love expressed in simplicity
and directness
I want to be loved by a realist
for honesty would be what is
spoken
and my life would be grounded
I want to be loved by masculinity
for heroics would be part of
the puzzle
life with bar fights for my honor
I want to be loved by masculinity
to live with knowledge that love
was also safety and strength when there
was trouble
I want to be loved by masculinity
to know that my life could be protected
and strong arms would catch me
when I fall
I want to be loved by an adventurer
with new twists and turns behind every corner
Where love is professed on mountain tops
and in exploration
I want to be loved by an adventurer
for surprises would be grand and
boredom
would never set in
I want to be loved by an adventurer
because life would be new everyday and
the discovery channel would be viewed through
my eyes
I want to be loved
want
to be
loved
Mar 2, 2014
Mar 2, 2014 at 11:52 PM UTC
Blindness curses you
and you are unaware.
You believe that your sight
is clear.
You can always see,
you always know,
and yet you stumble
through conversations burdened
by the things I have hidden.
My body tenses at your touch,
my eyes quiver at your words,
and it goes unnoticed.
Unnoticed by you,
who sees everything.
I want to laugh at
your blindness
to the pain and sorrow
that is exhausting me.
You don't see
that our friendship
was holding me together.
You, the king of observation!
You do not see
that as you draw away
I am fading
into nothingness.
Mar 2, 2014
Mar 2, 2014 at 7:47 PM UTC
to inspire hearts
bring eyes to tears
with simple words
a writer’s gift
to wreck someone
build them up again
with simple words
a writer’s gift
to express pain and joy
with a single utterance
with simple words
a writer’s gift
to create a world
and destroy it
with simple words
a writer’s gift
Oct 19, 2013
Oct 19, 2013 at 3:58 PM UTC
for suffering I pray
to be discriminated against
to be hated for
the color of my skin
I pray for this
for suffering I pray
to be diagnosed
with an incurable
and painful disease
I pray for this
for suffering I pray
to be struck down
by the loss
of those I love
I pray for this
for suffering I pray
to be crippled
and face the
new hardships of life
I pray for this
for suffering I pray
to love
and not be loved
in return
I pray for this
for suffering I pray
so I can comfort
and hold those
who suffer
I pray for this
for suffering I pray
so I can wipe
away tears
and understand
I pray for this
for suffering I pray
Oct 18, 2013
Oct 18, 2013 at 12:47 PM UTC
I want a day
just a simple day
and I want a night
a single night
A day without anger
rotating through
my friends and I
A day with no hurt feelings
and no apologies
A want a day of peace
that we look back on with
fondness and joy
A day in which our love
for one another trumps all
I want a day
just a simple day
and I want a night
a single night
A night without terror
or an anxious heart
keeping me up while I'm sleeping
A night without physical exhaustion
coupled with emotional wreckage
I want a night of peace
that comforts my soul
so I can face the day
A day that will have anger
rotating through my
friends and I
A day with hurt feelings
and apologies
A day full of war
that we look back on
with discomfort and tears
Ad day where our love
for one another loses out
I want a day
just a simple day
and I want a night
a single night
Oct 18, 2013
Oct 18, 2013 at 12:20 PM UTC