lately love feels heavier than it used to
every conversation turns into another argument
another silence
another kind of distance
today i watched your name stay active
while my message stayed unopened
and maybe it seems small
but small things hurt differently
when your heart is already tired
you said
“i don’t always need to reply”
and maybe you’re right
but i think i just wanted to feel
like hearing from me mattered
because i answer you
like you are part of me
and sometimes it feels like
i only exist in your life
when there’s space left for me
i still love you
even through the distance
even through the silence
even through the feeling
that i’m becoming easier to ignore
and i don’t know what hurts more
the silence
or realizing
how lonely love can become
when only one person keeps reaching first
May 18
May 18, 2026 at 8:58 AM UTC
i think her mother looks at me now
and sees a warning sign
not a boy who got hurt
not someone terrified of losing the person he loves
just the aftermath of it all
the arguments
the overthinking
the intensity
the way pain started leaking into everything
and i understand why
because from the outside
it probably looked like i was becoming too much
too emotional
too attached
too overwhelmed by the relationship
and maybe i was
pain changes people quietly
until one day
even the people who love them
don’t recognize them anymore
but i wish she knew
i never wanted to make her daughter feel trapped
or pressured
or exhausted
i was just scared
scared of losing someone
i loved so deeply
that every little change felt like the beginning of the end
and now i think her mother hears my name
and feels worried before anything else
worried that loving me
comes with too much sadness attached to it
and that hurts in a way i can’t explain
because i love her daughter gently
even if my fear stopped looking gentle
and maybe her mother only sees the fear now
the damage
the emotional weight of everything
while i sit here
wishing she could see me
before all the hurt changed me into this version of myself
because i was never trying to destroy her daughter
i was just trying desperately
not to lose her
and somewhere along the way
that desperation started looking like danger
instead of pain
May 8
May 8, 2026 at 8:40 AM UTC
the space between us finally went away
we were not standing apart anymore
not overthinking not hesitating
your hand found mine and it stayed there
not for a second not by accident
it just felt right
i didnt have to guess how you felt
i could feel it in the way you were close to me
in the way you didnt pull away
everything felt different in that moment
like all the tension we had before just disappeared
like we stopped holding back
my body reacted without me even trying
like it just understood you
like it knew this was something real
it wasnt just about being physical
it actually meant something
like we finally crossed into something deeper
we didnt need to say anything
we both already knew what it meant
what we were feeling
i felt closer to you than i ever have before
not just in that moment but in a real way
and it changed something in me
now it feels like we can be more open
like we dont have to hide how we feel
nothing feels fake anymore
nothing feels unsure
just us
getting closer
every time we choose each other
Apr 27
Apr 27, 2026 at 9:28 AM UTC
the space between us finally went away
we were not standing apart anymore
not overthinking not hesitating
your hand found mine and it stayed there
not for a second not by accident
it just felt right
i didnt have to guess how you felt
i could feel it in the way you were close to me
in the way you didnt pull away
everything felt different in that moment
like all the tension we had before just disappeared
like we stopped holding back
my body reacted without me even trying
like it just understood you
like it knew this was something real
it wasnt just about being physical
it actually meant something
like we finally crossed into something deeper
we didnt need to say anything
we both already knew what it meant
what we were feeling
i felt closer to you than i ever have before
not just in that moment but in a real way
and it changed something in me
now it feels like we can be more open
like we dont have to hide how we feel
nothing feels fake anymore
nothing feels unsure
just us
getting closer
every time we choose each other
Apr 27
Apr 27, 2026 at 9:07 AM UTC
you text me when you have time
like i live in the in-between of your day
and i answer like you are my whole moment
like my attention has only one direction
and maybe that’s where it shifted
for me, love was never just response
it was presence
it was being felt
without having to ask to be
but for you
it arrives differently
like i am something you return to
when the noise of everything else fades
when the world finally lets you breathe
i tried not to read into it
i really did
i called it timing
called it space
called it normal
but silence has a shape
and i started recognizing yours
in the pauses
in the waiting
in the way my name doesn’t come first
love shouldn’t feel like reaching
or decoding
or waiting to be chosen again
it should feel like staying
without question
but i think i’ve started to see it now
not in anger
just in clarity
what i am in your life
and what i am not
Apr 22
Apr 22, 2026 at 11:10 AM UTC
no effort
not where it shows
just “i’m sorry”
sent hours later
like time doesn’t matter
promises about tomorrow
next week
“i’ll make it up to you”
that never actually happens
plans that get pushed back
or forgotten
like they were never real to begin with
i’m the one checking my phone
seeing you active
but not answering
typing
deleting
waiting
always waiting
no calls first
no “i miss you”
unless i say it first
and even then
it feels repeated
not meant
when we do talk
it’s short
rushed
like i’m interrupting something
like i’m something you fit in
between everything else
half-attention
half-effort
half of something
i kept calling love
and the apologies
they don’t land anymore
they sound the same
feel the same
fix nothing
because nothing actually changes
and i think that’s what hurts
not just the lack of effort
but realizing
i kept giving everything
to someone
who was okay giving me almost nothing
Apr 22
Apr 22, 2026 at 8:47 AM UTC
it’s hard to trust you now
even when i want to
even when part of me
still believes in us
because trust doesn’t break loud
it breaks quietly
in moments i can’t ignore
and i hate that i think more
question more
feel unsure about things
that used to feel simple
i don’t want to doubt you
i don’t want to feel this way
but it’s hard to feel safe
when something in me
still feels off
i’m trying
i really am
but trust isn’t something
i can just say is back
it’s something
you have to help me feel again
Apr 21
Apr 21, 2026 at 2:06 PM UTC
don’t cry
i tell myself i’ll be alright
even though i gave you everything
and still lost the fight
i tried
i really tried to make it last
but loving you felt like holding on
to something slipping fast
and i’m tired
of pretending i don’t feel this pain
like i didn’t lose myself
trying to keep you the same
don’t cry
yeah that’s what i keep telling me
but it’s hard to stay strong
when you’re not who you used to be
Apr 21
Apr 21, 2026 at 2:06 PM UTC
there’s no effort like there used to be
and i feel it more than i say
no real connection
just moments that don’t last
and time that feels like it’s given to me
only when it’s convenient
and it hurts
because i still want you
i still choose you
even when it feels like
i’m the only one trying to hold this together
i miss us
when it felt easy
when i didn’t have to question
if i mattered the same way
now everything feels last minute
like i’m just something that fits
instead of something you need
and i hate that i still care this much
when it’s been hurting like this
but i do
i still want you
i just don’t want to feel like this anymore
Apr 21
Apr 21, 2026 at 2:06 PM UTC
there’s no effort like there used to be
and i feel it more than i say
no real connection
just moments that don’t last
and time that feels like it’s given to me
only when it’s convenient
and it hurts
because i still want you
i still choose you
even when it feels like
i’m the only one trying to hold this together
i miss us
when it felt easy
when i didn’t have to question
if i mattered the same way
now everything feels last minute
like i’m just something that fits
instead of something you need
and i hate that i still care this much
when it’s been hurting like this
but i do
i still want you
i just don’t want to feel like this anymore
Apr 21
Apr 21, 2026 at 10:19 AM UTC