I’ve become what I promised I’d never be.
My heart is dead with no soul left inside me.
I don’t enjoy what this life brings.
I don’t appreciate what has been given to me.
The colors all seem a little too dull.
These anti-depressants don’t work anymore.
I can’t seem to ever leave my house.
I can’t get off this ******* couch.
The therapy isn’t helping like it should.
I forgot what I was like when things were good.
I am watching my life pass me by,
and I’m too numb to even cry.
My teenage self would always say,
how do bitter people end up that way?
But I’ve built these walls to protect myself,
and now I’m stuck in a prison cell.
Oct 3, 2024
Oct 3, 2024 at 7:36 PM UTC
Let me in, Let me in
For the love of God, let me in
My poetry might be mediocre, yes that's true
But I need a release from this life, just like you
Aug 23, 2021
Aug 23, 2021 at 5:57 PM UTC
No real connections and no restraints…
I watch you breathing and feeling faint.
I hold your hand and ask you to fight.
I will tell you, your attitude can save your life.
I know you’re alone, please know I am here.
I see you starving for oxygen, I feel your fear.
Please listen to the doctor trying to prescribe,
their knowledge and experience can save your life.
Please try my darling, you’re just too young.
Starving for oxygen can leave you high strung.
Don’t you understand the BiPAP can save your life? Or should we start the process and notify your wife?
Sweetheart, I get that this is hard!
You can’t breathe deeply, your lungs are scarred.
I know that I will always ask for too much.
We need to get you out of bed and sit you up.
But, let me tell you the other route.
If you give up, unfortunately, we have our doubts.
We might end up having to intubate…
And leave those strong wrists in soft restraints.
This is something we as nurses know,
Unfortunately, once intubated your prognosis is low.
Most Covid patients never wean off of the vent,
So say goodbye to your family and friends.
I’ll hold your hand no matter what you decide,
I’ll hold the phone to your ear listening to your families last goodbyes…
We will all cry and all of our hearts will break,
You’ll just just be another statistic the media will define as “fake.”
… please know I’ll always remember you by heart, I’ll remember your story from end to start, I’ll never forget what you’ve been through, because that’s what we as nurses do.
Aug 23, 2021
Aug 23, 2021 at 4:25 PM UTC
Help me I’m drowning
I really can’t breathe
The worlds on my shoulders
Expecting too much of me
I can’t reach the surface
I just don’t feel like me
I’m surrounded by this dark cloud
Who am I becoming?
Help me I’m considered “essential”
And always working
I ******* hate my job
My family life is crumbling
Help me I’m a new mom
To my precious Sunny
I’m numbing her out
I’m not the mom I should be
Help me I’m lonely
I have been in quarantine
With fear of exposing my child
To Covid-19
Help me I cannot relate
To the people around me
The politics are consuming
And we’ve all become mean
Help me I’m overweight
My health is declining
When I look in the mirror
I don’t like what I see
Help me my husband
Really doesn’t like me
I’m not easy to be around
And we aren’t connecting
Help me I can’t find a reason
To keep on living
The world is a dark place
With no room left for me
Help me my temples
are always aching
I know what would relieve the pressure
That has been eating at me
Sep 6, 2020
Sep 6, 2020 at 1:03 AM UTC
I think the hardest pill to swallow
Is the realization
Of the inexistence
Of God himself.....
But ohhhhh if He reigned
Lord... take me away....
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018 at 1:58 AM UTC
I think I'll build this wall
Maybe ten feet tall
Brick by brick
To protect my self
So I don't feel so small
I’m still feeling small
So I’ll add more to this wall
Brick, concrete, brick
There, that should do it, that’s all
They’re making me feel small
Just a few more bricks to the wall
Another layer added
Ok...no more...that’s all
There is a problem with this wall
It’s getting a little too tall
I’m starting to lose my empathy
And making others feel small
So what is the lesson of this all?
In life you’re going to fall
And it’s ok to hurt sometimes
Be weary of the wall
Dec 1, 2017
Dec 1, 2017 at 12:21 PM UTC
I put in the time,
I passed the state test,
Everyone is so proud,
Still, I can care less.
It's time to move forward,
Build up that resume,
Time to start that career,
Instead of sleeping all day.
I can't take the next step,
I'm terrified of change,
I've become paralyzed,
This feeling is strange.
Shouldn't I be happy?
Joyfully motivated in a way?
Excited about tomorrow,
And Seizing the day?
They're expecting great things,
But I just can't persist,
Everyone else is happy,
Except this "pessimist."
Jul 28, 2017
Jul 28, 2017 at 5:58 AM UTC
I can't make sense of all of this
Or all of that, or which is which
My scattered thoughts, my weary heart
When will this end? When did this start?
What feels so wrong and what is right?
I can't think straight, I have no fight
I'm in the clouds, I can't come down
My thoughts all clustered all around
I feel so numb, I cannot feel
Because my thoughts, can't be based real
This feels so strong, I can't explain
All of this utter, nonsense, pain
Nothing seems steady, I have no ground
Because a clear thought, cannot be found
There's only one thing proven true
I'm in this state of mind for you
Jun 18, 2017
Jun 18, 2017 at 2:26 AM UTC
I can't help but notice, this is the perfect song for this moment.
But how many moments has this perfect song influenced?
Don't get me wrong boy, I know you mean every touch and taste,
Because you haven't kissed me like this in years...
But all I seem to care about are these ***** sheets...
Did you wash them for me?
Did you wash them for me?
Or am I laying in your yesterday's regret?
Or have you even given a thought to them yet?
Pathetic that I have memorized the skeletons in your closet...
But I still come back for that kiss you save for what you render as real
Oh PLEASE kiss me again, but keep your hands glued around me,
Because you don't deserve to let them wander...not anymore...
Because all I care about are these ***** sheets...
Did you wash them for me?
Did you wash them for me?
Or am I laying in your yesterday's regret?
Or have you given a thought to them yet?
You know you're the only one that has ever mattered,
The only one I know who has even come close to...
My heart, my soul, my deepest desires
I have always belonged to you, not anyone else... even now
But still... I can't get over these ******* ***** sheets...
Did you wash them for me?
Did you wash them for me?
Cause I'm still here, wallowing, in your yesterday's regret
Knowing for a pathetic fact, you haven't given a thought to them yet.
Jun 14, 2017
Jun 14, 2017 at 7:03 PM UTC