Marshfolk Blues
This town I reside for years,
Through the joy the tears and the fears.
But my face don't belong
I whistle my own song,
While residents say go away, go away.
My friend she lives at 22,
She invites me in for a brew.
I repeat the same old line
Can we arrange for another time.
Now she tells me to go away, go away.
The ducks in the pond don't speak,
Not a quack, not a flap, not a peep.
They make waves to duck down
They don't want me around,
So stroll away, stroll away, stroll away.
The church's door is always closed.
The bell doesn't ring even when the wind blows.
It's pointless for me, to beg, pray or plead.
The Lord still bellows "Away, go away"!
The flowers no longer smell sweet,
Their colour faded as well in the heat.
I'm not chosen to pick, I pass by so quick.
The pungent haze blows me away.
The sea wall, you're my only friend,
A cold and stoney touch guardian.
Keeps me from seeking the end
But not today my old friend.
Because the waves will roll me away.
Jul 5, 2019
Jul 5, 2019 at 1:15 PM UTC
What did they say?
I walked out with the rain falling on my face in total dismay
Smokey plumes float past
Is it relatable toxic?
No, I need oxygen
to clear my own path
I watch the clouds give way
And wonder if like the sun
I will get a lucky break
I feel the heat begin to melt
My own friend who's whispered me help
Starts to dissipate like a snowman on new years day
Has everything he said been a lie?
Every direction of his affection just to get me by?
But my friend is the one I trust
This lady was nice but I never felt that she steered me right
How could she? We've only just met
Now I've got to break down our walls
Just because its for the best?
Ha I get it man I'm depressed and this is a test of my faith to you
my friend you know me best
For Every hurdle that fell,
For every story I tell,
Our memory unfurls
for every step through hell
I couldn't begin to tell you how much **** you put me through too.
I can't remember if it was for the best for me
or the best for you.
Every doubt in my brain you made so I could refrain from showing myself off again
But maybe they are right
I shouldn't listen to you anymore
We lone wolves but now I take my advice from and subscribe to a different pack
Breathe its ok, you feel like a robot and it's just a phase they say!
To me it's just another locus within the plague
I find myself on this high-rise and try as I might I can't hear your voice
Its void vs void the choice is the same
I can chose to make myself happy
While others are burdened with my pain
Or I can be the reason there's still a smile on everyones face.
So I sway, and I sway.
I miss you buddy, always deep within the caves of my mind
Right or wrong what you instruct made me feel insanely safe
And now I've forced you away
I feel more pain than everyone claimed I have
Now I've got to think of a future where your not there
And I have to admit I'm feeling
Pretty scared
The normality of reality
Is grim but I must bare
And the silence is just not fair
Goodbye my friend
You've done nothing good for me
Or so they say so you must leave
Is this the feeling of ok?
It must be!
But this world I've been dropped in
I don't properly trust it
And now my knees are buckling
Apparently my mind is clear
Everyone says I'm on the road of mend
But deep inside I'm still suffering.
All because you are not here
The whispers are gone
The silence is deafening
I'm a different man
Because you were forced to leave me
We've been told to take it one day at a time
You dissolved into the caves of my mind
While I strengthen mine
I just hope we see each other on the other side
I'm just waiting for the other side
Mar 18, 2019
Mar 18, 2019 at 4:27 AM UTC
Men never cry,
It's only the cry of boys,
No one can truly be a man
If your life is destroyed.
The fight we never wanted,
The perils completely unknown,
We dream through hellish nightmares,
We dream of the safety of our homes.
We hear the whistle blow,
Oh please wind, be it your tune,
We can no longer climb that trench,
Into the hellish, smokey plumes.
To all the soldiers that will fall,
To all the boys that fell,
Please accept us in Heaven, Lord,
For our time has truly been served in Hell.
Nov 11, 2018
Nov 11, 2018 at 6:28 AM UTC
My next door neighbour
Is again kicking up a fuss,
So I creep up to the window
To see if I can suss,
I can't feel but upset
Is there something I dont get?
All the accolades up on the wall;
Fathers puffed out chest,
Misses in a fur shawl.
Memories framed everwhere
So many styles of hair!
Tickets to only the best shows
At front row yeah you dun kno!
I look away and with jealous dismay,
The latest car of this day you can finance with this pay unused on the drive way!
Suitcases packed, postcards sprawled on the wall,
Sun burnt in the chritmas islands
Been drenched from Niagara falls.
I look back in my window
Its all grey and dull.
There aint no one writing good times on my wall.
No happy birthdays, no pictures to share,
How can I prove that I existed?
Its like I wasn't even there.
Its bare because privacy is something that I care for,
Places I've been, therefore, I haven't captured those moments in time
Through components that engineer a digital eye.
But still, I can't help but wander into that snippet of their lives,
And wonder why it can't be mine.
But if only I could actually go through that door.
Living room on my right,
door locked tight,
The rest of the house is as grey and bleak as mine!?
Skeleton hands closing closet doors,
Not so distant relatives travelling alone in the halls.
The friendly ghosts of schools past,
Will tell you what they thought of them last; revealing why they no longer a part.
Neglected pets, ex's to forget, nasty little texts that capsized lives into wrecks.
Used baggies and tickets, earthy daggers and spigots that buried all the nasty and ***** secrets.
All the zits, the emptied makeup bags.
That was used as a mask to hide the upset and sad.
I peep in the living room (just one more time).
Yes, it's brighter than mine,
But I realise that I dont parade my life.
Peoples square or round window are always exciting but never do they let you look further in because it will unfurl their world and you might just start to realise they are just like everybody else!
Gosh, they are moddest when they are praised!
But no attention, well their wall will get another decorate until someone succumbs, ups a thumbs and shouts out 'you're great!'
My living room is better than yours!
There's these unwritten rules
Of the modern day society norms.
Get yourself into debt, when do you next jet set?
Aw your kid has taken their first step! What a pet!
Big bright signs signal the window display
"Look at my life, it's greater than great!"
Everyone, All role up this way
"I need you to see how my life is great.
Please don't go away"
Now their brain is racing, the fame needs chasing,
All for barren validation
Nov 1, 2018
Nov 1, 2018 at 9:13 AM UTC
It's the people I tried to touch
I have so much love for my flock
See them flock to my church
Unaware of the Devil's work
The Devil's work the innocent's screams
My body is the host in-between
It hurts you as it does to me
This is what's been chosen for me
Down on my knees but I'm not the first one to do so
Hands clasped together I'm talking to you Lord
Why have you burdened me with this demon
I just want to be a free man
I've touched the children's hearts more than you know
Turns it as black as coal
But no longer will it burn
A short-lived Desire I can no longer control
I'm meant to be the protector
The spoken word for the Lord Saviour
But Lord's house will never let you know
I put your lambs in danger
Lord it's forgiveness that I seek
For all the Moments that I am weak
You've burdened me with this demon of desire
For reasons I just can't find why
These are my beautiful children
Reveal my secrets and I will conceal them
This church is filled with love
Because we make sure these walls never speak
Here is the Church here is the Steeple
Open the door and there's all the people
No amount of Baptismal
Can wash out all the evil
Children leaving in tears
Children living in fear
Parents don't know and they never will
So just send them back home to that Church on the Hill
Never knowing what's going on behind those doors
But who are we to question the word of the Lord
Oct 31, 2018
Oct 31, 2018 at 6:11 AM UTC
Pictures with smiles
Captured that moment in time
But look into my eyes
To see the truth that lies beneath
I wonder if I can set sail
Without the winds drawing me
Back to the looming shadow
That I'm anchored to
When the sun goes down
I know I'm safe and sound
Even when the sun comes round
I'm in trouble
I hide behind this veil
Like a thunderstruck willow
One day I can lift this shroud
And see the world not through
Swollen eyes of red and blue
Mundane days for me
Are nightmares to you
Please put me in an eternal dream
With freedom just like you
Fists of fury
Do I deserve it
Love is life
And nothings perfect
Eggshells broken
I didn't mean for that
You push me back
Before I can say sorry
Stories and films
They don't see
What love is like
This is love to me
Oct 4, 2018
Oct 4, 2018 at 5:41 PM UTC
I've always thought of you
But the thought of loosing you,
Has driven me to pharmaceuticals.
Quit, I know I oughta to,
But I just feel the benzos pulling through,
What the Hell shall I do?
So I try to play it down,
Even though its only opie
It still aint half as bad as brown.
Lets lighten it up,
Don't wanna be no dope fiend
But like a pent up bull to red
I head straight for the shop bought codeine
Oh cody, you don't make me swell,
If anything man, you make my being well,
For that small amount of time
I feel I can take on the world
Until I get to tomorrow and I feel I've created Hell!
All the things we do,
Just so we can feel the warmth,
Finding our little cliques,
Just by the way we talk.
Have you tried this,
This ones hit and miss,
Mix it in with this,
For eternal bliss.
Now I've heard it all before
Nothing improves and nothing changes,
But there's something in the brain
That promises you can catch that Dragon once again.
The Dragon flies high
With the fire in his belly,
But you haven't any,
So why you trying to catch him.
(So why do you even try).
Oct 4, 2018
Oct 4, 2018 at 7:19 AM UTC
The sun falls faster and the colour of the leaves I'm drawn to,
No longer am I longing for that lawn dew.
Gotta fight the cold, feel I need to wrap up warm too
As the season turns it's something that I can't warm to.
I see the squirrel foraging within the leaves,
What lies for him fills me with jealousy,
Because once his work is done,
He gets to sleep and just like the sun
We won't see him for several weeks.
Theres something I, just can't put my finger on,
Theres something that burns within
Me which lingers on,
It's as black as the winter clouds
I stop, think and look around
Has anybody else been veiled with this shroud?
Of course, smiling faces, festivities are near,
I can't face it, wake me when Easter's here,
When the sun goes, so does my soul,
Burns me up like Nich's coal,
Winters drawn and I can't go on.
Maybe it's in my breed, when I start the freeze,
My body starts to cease so I need to sleep
Within the winter leaves,
Just wake me please in 28 weeks,
Jeez!
The pain in my chest, it's all too much,
Had since I was 12 and nothing has changed
Its strange, I go blue and slow,
Before we get the snow,
And when we get that very first light
My body start to excite.
Sun worshipper - no I'm not,
I'm guessing its my body clock
No matter how I try to fight it off,
Its a feeling, I just cannot stop,
On the other hand the feeling can't be topped.
Maybe I'm like the birds, the bears and the lot,
Work hard all season now need this winter break,
To reset my brain, to enable me to carry on,
Just ring me when spring has sprung.
Sep 28, 2018
Sep 28, 2018 at 7:53 AM UTC
So we've run out of money
And I just don't know what to do
I feel I've gotta keep running
Straight in to the abyssal blue
No, waves don't hurt me
They cradle me in peace
My thoughts then desert me
The reef laid is my wreath
Work for your freedom
But soon they take it away
One cup of tea sir, ok,
But that will cost you a day
Notes in my pocket
But I don't sing no tune
My time is broken
Oh honey, honey, where are the blues?
In this tin beetle
Staring at a sea of red
Every person I've seen now
We share whats been said
Walking through the woods
Calmed by natures melody
I would if I could
I'd swing high with the trees
Maybe I should now
I'm a number and they don't lie
Tears of my loved ones
A guilty lullaby
Oh baby, baby,
I'm looking for you
They've taken my time
Whats left is for you.
Creak on through the door
Sorry I was so long
These thoughts to be destroyed
For you I need to be strong
Aug 31, 2018
Aug 31, 2018 at 6:24 AM UTC
I don't know,
If it's the sleep deprivation,
But I find that I,
Keep on contemplating,
I've had many conversations
With this reflective homosapien
Who keeps berating me
Well I hate him the souless satan.
I stare into his eyes,
Everyday, I try to compromise:
Just let me have a couple of hours
Where everything is fine!
I'm getting tired of his face,
Twisted ball of twisted hate,
But I close my eyes
He disappears!
Turn around quick before there are whispers in your ears!
When the sun warms,
And its the break of day,
The clock barely breaks a smile
Before he starts to chip away.
I should of learnt my lesson
But still I'm second guessing,
I say to myself "I do my best!"
But my hopeful thoughts are deafened.
I start to go and stumble,
Onto my humble abode,
Even though its just me,
I'm truly never on my own.
I creak on through the hall,
But restroom; I do not stop.
I try to avoid any shine
Because I know that is his home.
He's everywhere,
Staring at me in every room!
Compact disk, photo frames
And even through the back of this rusty spoon.
So I just don't bother,
I slip under the cover,
Sweet, blissful sleep I cannot commandeer,
Because he's always here,
Chipping away with whispers in my ear.
Aug 31, 2018
Aug 31, 2018 at 6:21 AM UTC