Father’s Day is next
so am I supposed to celebrate it?
That’s what the world says anyway
posts
memories
smiles built out of old photos and easier times
But what if the word “father” doesn’t feel like comfort
what if it feels like distance instead?
What if the person who was supposed to guide you
became someone you learned to survive instead?
People don’t talk about that part
They don’t talk about the silence in the house
that feels heavier than any argument
They don’t talk about the moments
you stop asking questions
because answers never really come anyway
I tried to understand it
I really did
I tried turning confusion into patience
and patience into forgiveness
like if I waited long enough
something would change
But some relationships don’t grow forward
They just stay stuck
in the same unfinished sentence
And you’re left trying to translate it
your whole life
Father’s Day shows up
and everywhere you look
there’s appreciation being written
like it’s universal
Like everyone got the same story
But not everyone did
Some people learned early
how to read absence better than presence
how to notice what’s missing
before what’s there
And that stays with you
Because even when you grow older
even when you pretend it doesn’t matter anymore
there’s still that quiet question underneath everything
“What was I supposed to feel?”
And no one really answers that for you
So you learn to carry it quietly
like an extra weight nobody sees
Still…
there’s a part of me
that wonders what it would’ve been like
if things were different
If conversations were easier
if distance didn’t feel like the default setting
if “father” actually meant safety
But reality doesn’t rewrite itself for feelings
So you just sit with it
Another date on the calendar
another reminder
of something that was supposed to be simple
but never was
—
xx10m 🖤🌧️🕰️
May 11
May 11, 2026 at 10:40 AM UTC
Mother’s Day is supposed to be about appreciation
right?
Cards
flowers
phone calls
happy families pretending love was always easy
That’s what everybody says anyway
But what happens
when the person who was supposed to protect you
became the first person to break you instead?
What happens when “home”
was never safe enough
to miss?
I tried appreciating her
I really did
I tried ignoring the yelling
the cold looks
the feeling that I was unwanted
inside the very place
I was supposed to grow in
I kept hoping
maybe if I behaved better
got quieter
hurt less loudly
she’d finally look at me
like I mattered
But some people only know how to love
when it’s convenient for them
And that realization
cuts deeper than anger ever could
Because a child will blame themselves for abandonment
long before they blame the parent
So every time she walked away emotionally
I convinced myself
I deserved it somehow
That maybe I was too difficult
too broken
too much
And eventually
those thoughts stop sounding temporary
They start sounding like truth
Mother’s Day arrives
and suddenly everyone’s posting pictures
smiling beside women
who made them feel safe
Meanwhile I’m sitting here
trying to figure out
why somebody could create a life
then leave it emotionally starving
People say
“but she’s still your mother”
And maybe biologically
that’s true
But titles don’t erase damage
A mother is supposed to nurture
protect
guide
love
Not make their child feel like surviving them
became a personality trait
Still…
Somewhere deep down
there’s a part of me
that wishes things were different
A younger version of me
still waiting at the door
hoping she comes back kinder this time
And maybe that’s the saddest part of all
No matter how much pain someone causes
a child never fully stops wanting their parent’s love
Even after everything
—
xx10m 🖤🥀🌧️
May 11
May 11, 2026 at 10:40 AM UTC
Me is all that I have
No-one else
Nobody knows me
Nobody knows my past
Nobody cares too learn about my past
It's all just a blur to me
Mar 3
Mar 3, 2026 at 3:19 PM UTC