We are all so very fragile.
Our sun kissed porcelain faces
are freckled with Achilles heel fault lines and chipped paint.
Shining through to our nervous nervous system and our tendency to over think things.
We hide so much inside of us.
Behind dance less masquerades
Our bodies held together only by cages of ivory bones
cages that cradle the thin winged heart beats of our chest
nervous moths stumbling around inside
knocking books off of shelves and
eating the sweaters that we use to keep our hearts from freezing over.
The autumn wind is cold like sad glaciers
and it's easy to break down at times like these.
Our bones ache and shriek like boiling tea kettles.
Making it hard not to shatter.
We are all so fragile.
Burnt out light bulb fragile.
Frozen lake fragile.
Defibrillated heartbeat fragile.
We are broken branch fragile
chronic alcoholics sobriety fragile.
The middles school girls reaction to the word “fat” fragile
We are the kind of fragile that set off big bangs.
We are, paranoid breakable.
And its got to the point where
we have begun taping up our light leak vulnerabilities
with perceptions of perfection and thoughts of rejection
spending our time in dark rooms as our minds just keep reeling
and trying to shut off feelings and unwind
but we have been over exposed to such ****
To slides and slides of negative negatives
we used to burst apart with so much light.
but the sun isn't shining honest, the night sky is black
and its raining in all the wrong ways.
We're out of season.
sewing up the holes in our personality
with floods of insecurities and droughts of identity.
damning what matters.
**** its hard to know what matters.
But I am still trying to figure that one out
And the moths are still here
as the pendulum clocks keep ticking
eating the sweaters that we used
to keep our hearts from freezing over.
But we are freezing to the core.
The atoms inside of us splinting into half lives;
we haven't even lived half of our lives
yet we feel so ancient.
The dust piles growing on our slanted bookshelves shoulders
Our bright idea light bulbs flickering,
getting covered up by snowdrifts.
We are gas giants wrapping ourselves into open space darkness
hiding from the bright side of the moon.
Like a black cat superstition we are running from our own precondition
of lying about being ourselves
We pull dark black-hole hoods over our eyes
wincing at the light trails of shooting stars
though we, too, want to be brilliant.
We try to orbit the sun hoping that humanity is a symphony;
that being popular and having the most friends is what matters.
and we can be where the grass is always greener by fitting in and by being mirrors
Even though not being yourself is nauseating.
We can be nauseating, we can be mirrors.
Because we are scared that if we don't
hide who we really are
we may end up like Pluto.
Ostracized for existing.
floating around in space having stare downs with wormholes
A shivering rock entity with a complete loss of identity.
We already are so lost.
Our souls waning and waxing
Rocking back and forth
on wood beams and porches.
like an ADD moonbeam rocking chair.
But now its time to stop in one place and readjust our backbones.
Because I know that we are fragile, I know that.
I know that its hard filling in the cracks that have found their way down our back-stabbed spines
we all have our histories with being dropped and rejected.
But we weren't made to be cardboard box people,
packing tape and labels wrapped in all of the wrong places.
we are boxes full of wormholes into other dimensions
we are full of life and blood and bones,
full of oceans and stardust and daggers
There is so much more to us than our brown paper complexions.
So climb out of those kangaroo pouch caves that you have called home for the last few years
There's no need hiding anymore.
You can be safe in your own skin.
You can climb the Himalayas and scream out as many lightning rods as you want
we will all be listening as you burst apart into thunder claps.
As you bleed yourself into infinity
So, dim the lights
Throw your self at the world
and crash like waves into existence
you are perfect when you are yourself.
Grab that porcelain off of your face
and let your smile super nova fracture into a cosmic grin of constellations.
People will look up to you and be inspired.
A cardboard box rookie sprawled out in the stars.
Lighting up all of our faces with E.T. fingertips.
No longer hiding being reflective eclipses
There's only one person who can tell you who you are.
Only you can speak for yourself.
I know that your fragile
I know that.
We all are..,
Apr 9
Apr 9, 2026 at 2:06 AM UTC
I put all my grief in a box
Neatly packed and tightly sealed with a label
As if I am moving on
I don’t want to unpack my grief about you because I never wanted to pack that stuff to begin with
I never wanted to move.
No matter how hard I try to shove it in the back of my mind and pretend it doesn’t exist
Something falls out of the box and I pick it up and am reminded of how much I love you
Like a childhood stuffed animal I am too attached to, and refused to get rid of
Even if it’s missing an eye, and all the stuffing is coming out the sides
You comfort me, and I hold you. Wishing you were animated and could talk back.
I look for you every where like a lost puppy that is searching for a home to keep warm
I am stuck out in the cold and freeze.
I sit on the corner begging time for spare change
But my pockets and cup are empty
I don’t want to accept this.
There is too much grief to fit in that tiny box even if I seal it with a lock and shove it as far back as I can in a closet
It all eventually exploded until my room is covered
Until I am buried, overflowed, up to my ears with memories of you
My mind still can’t wrap my head around this mess
I pick up all the pieces one by one
And comb over every detail over and over, a detective searching for DNA seeing if there is something I missed
Hoping for even just a strand, a fiber, a string, a shred of your existence you left behind that leads me back to you
Sometimes I find a loose thread and pull it hoping that maybe it’s a part of you
But I just end up unraveling myself from the seams
Until I am nothing but a pathetic, tangled ball of yarn on the floor
I can’t untangle my grief.
There’s too many complicated knots my little hands can’t untie
I am forever tangled with you because you were my mother
My beautiful mother.
How I wish that you could hold me in your arms one more time or read me lullabies
22 was too young to lose you.
I wasn’t ready to grow up without you
I wasn’t ready to say goodbye because how can you say goodbye to the one person who taught you to say hello, and taught you all the colors of the rainbow?
There is nothing like a mother’s love.
And oh how you and your love shined like the sun above
I am afraid of the dark, I am afraid of this world without you in it.
There’s too many monsters underneath my bed and inside my head, I want to run to your room so you can show me that everything is gonna be okay, and that my mind is just playing tricks on me.
You litter my mind, I find pieces of you everywhere, but one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.
You are my treasure, you are precious to me, I clutch you tight to my chest, hoping nothing can steal you away from me.
My compass, my lighthouse that points me back to shore
I am lost at sea, homesick and sea sick
I just wanted to go back to land again so for once so this vertigo can stop, so I can feel steady and stable but I can’t when the ground is shaking beneath me.
You were my North Star that I looked for to guide me home
I am forever stuck in this infinite void with my stomach churning and my heart yearning and pining for you.
Searching for a message in a bottle
How I will forever miss you, my beautiful star
You were something special, you will always win the 1st place medal in my mind
I miss your scent but all your belongings have faded of that because you have spent too much time in that box
Eventually at some point I have to put everything back in the box until next time.
I love to see all my treasure that I’ve collected, all the sparkly pretty things that distract me from this ugly reality
Then I will resume, go back and carry on, pretending that I am okay without you.
I carry myself through life with my child like curiosity, with lightness, a kindness that you taught me
I love you my beautiful mother
When it all becomes too much I’ll just hide under the covers and pretend that you are tucking me and saying goodnight and I love you one last time.
Jan 31
Jan 31, 2026 at 12:29 AM UTC
History is old, but there are many stories that never got told,
There are things that no one will ever know,
I ask myself why the world is this position, what build up made this transition?
History books stitching bits of information together,
Missing so many pieces, they placed things where they wanted, told the teachers and they taught it, and we all bought it
But now I can’t help but to dawn on it.
Lies mascaraed the truth, we’ve beaten people black and blue just so you can do what you do,
This whole country was founded on hate,
No wonder so many people are stuck in a negative space,
They say we have freedom but there is reason none of us are speaking up, we’re stuck,
Tied to money, like cinder blocks on our feet, we sink,
Our foundation made of our ancestors bones, we sit on top of it like a throne of lies
You’re on the top of the pyramid no surprise, how many people did you have to step on to get that high?
You’re low, beneath the ground, hell bound, I don’t even believe in it
But the way people are getting treated is excused as convenience,
It’s a repetitive, destructive sequence,
Screaming at high frequency
Can you see?
Or are you as blind as they’ll let you be.
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 8:54 PM UTC