have you ever had that person
who means more than the world to you
and couldn’t get any more spectacular,
yet somehow is greater and greater with each passing day?
have you ever had that person
who you loved with so much of your soul
that you couldn’t believe was your best friend
and you just had to cry out of pure adoration for them and their existence?
everyone should have that person because i have that person and i never want to lose that person-even if their love brings tears to my eyes.
she is my person
Aug 26, 2019
Aug 26, 2019 at 11:55 PM UTC
She did not look burly from across the vast room
A crowd of thousands, but her blood stained blazer shined against the fixtures
An easy catch for the looking eye,
But deeper than the red that rolled off her shoulders
That waterfall flooded her chest and biceps
Not a crease nor a dent, a flawless exterior for a woman
To hide a healing girl
Tens of golden bands hugged her skinny fingers
Though she kept her left finger a clean slate
An offering? An assertion? A statement.
Left for the interpretation of ones not looking hard enough
Golden links swung back and forth across her chest as she swayed to the music
Weighed boldly by the sign of a higher presence
A facade to be accepted, not a belief condemning her sins
She pushed forth her sins just below the surface of recognition
Her eyes mirrored the soil far beneath her feet
Deep, leading straight to Earth's core, her core
The sole insight to her cry to be loved and not someone's lust
She built a fortress with those crimson walls
So the softness within could take a breath
A break short lived as it was approached by a harsh wave of blush
When she longed for the hidden intensity across the vast room
A woman draped in a deeper blue than the oceans they were yet to sail
Whose water could wash away blood stains
And expose a red louder than mackintosh, sweeter than red delicious
Those crimson then walls began to fade
Into a woman worth knowing what's hidden behind her walls
Aug 18, 2019
Aug 18, 2019 at 5:58 PM UTC
I thought I was going to find love wrapped in a woman's arms
holding hands down every street
falling asleep with her head between my shoulder blades and
her arm across my stomach
pecking kisses every single chance we got
watching my every move with a stupid grin,
but for me that wasn't enough
I thought I was going to find love keeping a woman above water
serving the purpose of serving her
receiving kisses only when she is in the mood
holding hands down every hall
faking a smile when she won't even try,
but love has two sides and I matter too
I thought I wasn't going to find love
nobody could fill my expectations of love
so many contradictions that a solution wasn't clear
there were things from both I still wanted,
but I didn't know what to expect when I stopped expecting
anything
I thought love was just one thing for everyone
that how I felt was the same way everyone in love felt
that love was more about physical contact than emotional
connection
that every love I would ever have would look the same,
but it wasn't true
Because I found that love is so much more than that
it is different for everyone and varies between partners
it is complicated and intoxicating in ways I never could've
imagined
it is important to be able to talk with who you love and touch
them often enough to never forget
it is the most unnaturally natural thing about being human
And I found it in you.
Aug 18, 2019
Aug 18, 2019 at 4:59 PM UTC
She is going to hold me
She is going to touch me
She is going to hold my hand
She is going to wrap her arms around me
She is going to kiss me
She is going to sleep next to me
She is going to show me physical love
She is going to give me what you never did
She is going to be everything I've always wanted
She is going to do it better than you
She is going to be what you weren't,
BUT SHE WILL NEVER BE YOU
Aug 18, 2019
Aug 18, 2019 at 4:20 PM UTC
My mouth still goes dry when I see you
My breath still leaves my body when you pass me
My heart still skips when I see your face
Even though I can't be with you,I know I still need you near me,
But it's still so hard to see you knowing I can't have you.
My head still reminds me that I love you
My hands still shake when I think about you
My knees still give out when I hear your name
It's still so hard to see you after all we've been through,
But it's till hard to function knowing that I can't talk to you.
You still have my heart in your hands though I don't have your's
You can still control my every move and thought
You still have me wrapped around your finger at every word
I know that I can't have you, but I still want you. I know that you're no longer mine, but I am still your's. I know this hurts us both, but I still need to move on.
Aug 18, 2019
Aug 18, 2019 at 4:12 PM UTC
They always say that when you lose that person who gave your life color, everything just goes grey.
There are distractions to give you a break from crying, but there
are always dried tears sitting on your cheeks.
Those months spent opening up to the one person who knew you best, or, at least, you thought they knew you.
It starts with shock, then shakes, then an overwhelming sadness
to relief, but nobody ever says that relief quickly fades.
It's true when they say that sadness will fill every waking moment, but not that all you'll want to do is sleep that sadness away.
It sounds stupid that food will lose its taste; it is, but nothing
tastes the same anymore.
Now when anybody asks how you are, you say you're fine and getting better, but somehow saying that makes it hurt so much more.
Aug 18, 2019
Aug 18, 2019 at 4:05 PM UTC
Once upon an ignorant girl
She believed her life had hit its highest peak,
But she knew little, this ignorant girl
That this peak was the highest of the smallest summits
And she had already climbed mountains for the happiness she got
And it wasn't much.
Once upon a tired girl
Attempting to further her climb, but with no prevail
The higher she climbed, the further away the summit became
Though still she continued her stride up a never-ending mountain
Now with no reward except the heaviness and emptiness
That filled her life.
Once upon a hurting girl
Whose blindness was catching up to her reality,
But even still love did not let her in to see the truth behind the mask
When the blindness began to weigh like endless bricks
Bricks that coursed though her blood
Setting root deep in her veins.
Once upon a hopeful girl
That began to learn the truth behind her following
The following that left nothing pure in her life
It took her life away from others who needed it more
She was learning to learn for herself again
And think for herself again.
Once upon a bettered girl
One who has seen much more than her looks can describe
That knows all the wrongs that love had made
And can learn to love herself again.
Sep 16, 2018
Sep 16, 2018 at 7:34 PM UTC
Have you heard of the little girl
Who chased cute boys around the playground
Writing love notes
Asking if they liked her?
This girl who imagined herself a mermaid princess
With the heart of a wolf
Just to have fun
With her friends on the playground
Never thinking a second thought
Past how cute the boy on the swings was?
How about the girl in a new school
Where people are bigger than her
In more than one sense?
Walking through the halls
Looking at how well the girls grew
And she guessed the boys did too.
The girl who thought looking at both
Was what everyone did?
It didn't take long for her to realize
It wasn't.
Ever heard of the girl
Who saw her best friend in a new way
That she never saw before
That lasted years?
The girl who then entered another school
One with faces old and new
Some adults that felt more like brothers and sisters
With new faces of girls who were even more grown
Than any she had seen in a while
Oh, and a couple cool guys walking by?
Have you ever heard of the girl
Who tried to convince herself
That she was normal
Like every other girl she walked by,
But couldn't help but stare
At those passing girls?
This same girl
Who refused to believe
That she wasn't anything like what she saw around her
That she was still that same girl
Who chased cute boys around the playground,
But couldn't keep hiding
That in her head
She was chasing beautiful girls around the playground?
There's this girl
Who spent her whole life
Wishing to be normal,
But found herself happiest
Hand in hand
With her same kind.
Aug 19, 2018
Aug 19, 2018 at 1:07 PM UTC
She used to loom tall over the sea of shadows
Watching them wraith and squirm without purpose
Searching for an open soul to invade
Its dark arms reached for her,
But never did her strength waver
Suddenly a calm flooded the shadows below
They sat still, waiting. Watching.
And for the first time she shrunk, she weakened
With this the darkness grew more vicious than before
Jumping and scratching her knees
Bleeding to fill rivers
Bleeding the water red
She stared down at the shadows with unimaginable terror
All she could do is run.
So she ran from the darkness, but it was all to be seen
Aching and sweaty and exhausted she stopped running
Turning slowly to see the vast dark behind her
Now the shadows loomed gravely over her head
Instinctively she grew more terrified,
But this time their dark arms seemed inviting
This time she did not run
Running from something so massive was pointless
So she stood and stared up at the wave of shadows
And like all ways do, it finally crashed.
Taking her to the sea of endless night with it
And if she ever is given the tiniest glance above the shadows,
They tear at her scars, ripping her back beneath the surface.
Aug 19, 2018
Aug 19, 2018 at 11:52 AM UTC
Say for tonight...
That you won't leave me alone
To not hide the love you've always shown
And I don't have to wait for the ring from my phone
Say for tonight...
You'll turn off the light,
Slip into my sight,
And for the rest of the night hold me ever so tight
Say for tonight...
That you only want to stay
Because nothing else matters today
And pray and pray we will be together as it may
Say for tonight...
That once again we can take it slow
Lying around to watch our show
And to never feel another emotion so low
Say for tonight...
That you won't leave me alone
That you'll slip into my darkened sight
To pray and pray we will be together as it may
And to never feel another emotion so low
Nov 20, 2017
Nov 20, 2017 at 7:01 PM UTC