Why do I do this
You hurt me so badly
But I always seem to go back to you
I always try to talk to you
You barely notice me at school
It is unbearable the amount of tension
We share many memories in that one night
I lust for you, I see you do too
Why can't we be together once more?
I just wish I could be yours once again
What happened? You pushed me out and away
Not talking, talking
I just want to be your friend at the least
I am here for you always
I think I love you.
Oct 9, 2014
Oct 9, 2014 at 11:42 PM UTC
How do things get so much better
I let my guard down.
I thought it could stay better
I forgot all the bad things
that have ever happened
I shouldn't have done that
Things always get worse
It was all too good to be true
I gave up on my happy ending
I don't deserve life
I can take it way
Who would care
Things are so bad
Could I actually do it?
Drown? Overdose?
Knife? Jump?
When could I get away
I have friends
I know they care
Even though they are
Never there
I feel so alone
Un loved, unwanted
A disappointment
I can't live up to my expectations
So much potential
I can't see inside me
They say I could do so much
I don't believe
T
H
I
S
I
S
G
O
O
D
B
Y
E
Sep 8, 2014
Sep 8, 2014 at 7:49 PM UTC
Never will it be said
That she was a genius.
Never will it be said
That she was talented.
Never will it be said
That she spoke kindly.
Never will it be said
That she was beautiful.
Never will it be said
That she carried value.
What will be said
Is that she was normal.
That she was average.
That she was capable
of ******** everything up.
That she didn't try enough,
didn't achieve enough,
didn't listen to what
would have saved her soul.
What will be said
Is that she wasn't terrible,
just mean.
Is that she wasn't stupid,
just dumb.
Is that she wasn't a gem,
just a pebble.
Scuffed soul,
scuffed body.
Imperfections layered
to cover the disappointments
of never being
anything
of worth.
Aug 20, 2014
Aug 20, 2014 at 3:12 PM UTC
*Maybe if I step on
enough flowers
or break
enough
hearts
I just might forget
I'm made of broken parts*
Aug 20, 2014
Aug 20, 2014 at 3:10 PM UTC
When I think about our future,
I think about lounging on the couch, Sunday afternoon,
watching our favorite t.v. show and eating pizza hut in our underwear; because we were too lazy to cook dinner and we like being comfy.
I think about playing hide-n-seek, tag, and many other childish games because deep down we'll never truly grow up.
I think about having our own privacy,
exploring each others bodies like they're undiscovered art at the bottom of the ocean.
I think about having to wake up early for work,
how we'd kiss goodbye and say "I love you."
(we'd always say "I love you." too much)
I think about how I'd always call during lunch breaks,
and if you happened to not answer I'd leave a voicemail just so you could hear my voice and know I was thinking of you.
I think about getting home late, running through the front door and yelling "Honey, I'm home!" at the top of my lungs; being showered in kisses and being carried to bed.
I think about how I'd make up silly rules like "No clothes allowed!"
how you'd just laugh at me for being such a dork,
but you'd still follow the rule.
You'd strip down to nothing then pick me up and carry me to our bedroom and take my clothes off of me,
laughing when you fumbled with my bra strap and me laughing along as I helped you.
I think about how after making love we'd just lay there together and sleep.
Two messes all tangled up in bed sheets.
I think about how some nights we'll keep each other up late at night,
talking for hours about anything and everything.
I think about how we'll treat each other like we're a king and a queen living in a castle for all eternity.
I think about how we'll fight- not a lot, but believe me we will.
Though of course, with a fight, will always come a make-up.
And boy, will we make-up.
We'll cry and hold each other no matter how tough life gets.
We're invincible, me and you.
Jun 20, 2014
Jun 20, 2014 at 11:20 PM UTC
The only freedom we have is the
unconditional love we have to give
and the painful confessions
we offer to the blank page,
there is no judge
but our conscience
and the earnestness of our hearts.
May 28, 2014
May 28, 2014 at 3:20 PM UTC
Don't judge my outer shell
Don't judge the marks or scars on my skin
Don't judge the look in my eyes as you spit the words of sin
Don't sear your judgements in my brain
Yeah ok, you think I'm insane
I hope you know that this inner pain does it
The pain you cause and from many others
So don't judge the tears that stream down my face
Sad angels cry the most
An angel as sad as I deserves to let these tears fall
So don't judge my outer shell
Don't judge it at all
Don't say I'm mental and insane
You don't know what has happened to me or what I've been through
So don't judge my outer shell
Till you've looked within me
Maybe then you'd see why I'm like this
Maybe then this will shatter your killing spree
May 28, 2014
May 28, 2014 at 3:11 PM UTC
Blue
it is an ocean
a siren crying
a haunting rainstorm
which floods
the soul
with tears
you
dare
to
feel
Blue
it is the sky
expansive
cloudless
surreal
dream
you
love
to
feel
May 28, 2014
May 28, 2014 at 1:33 AM UTC
how can you end sadness
when you don’t know why
it exists
May 28, 2014
May 28, 2014 at 1:32 AM UTC