ramennoodles890 - Hello Poetry

there's no cures, no hopes, no hi's, nor bye's.. there's not really much left to say then is there- so why do i try? why do i reach for words just out of reach, why haven't i let it go? why do i wonder so- wander so? what am i looking for? i have what i want, i have what i need, i have the joy i sought so sorely so, i have my grasp on a future, no longer so futile.. and yet guilt clouds my mind. i wish so badly that i could take what you gave, that i could scatter my seeds amongst the many already strewn, intertwine my life into the fabric of yours, and be happy doing it. but i wasn't happy, i was empty and your pieces didn't fit quite right, despite how hard i tried.. because i did try, oh how i tried. i just wish i hadn't poisoned the medicine maker.

0

Feb 7, 2018

Feb 7, 2018 at 2:00 PM UTC

ramennoodles890

medicine

there's no cures, no hopes, no hi's, nor bye's.. there's not really much left to say then is there- so why do i try? why do i reach for words just out of reach, why haven't i let it go? why do i wonder so- wander so? what am i looking for? i have what i want, i have what i need, i have the joy i sought so sorely so, i have my grasp on a future, no longer so futile.. and yet guilt clouds my mind. i wish so badly that i could take what you gave, that i could scatter my seeds amongst the many already strewn, intertwine my life into the fabric of yours, and be happy doing it. but i wasn't happy, i was empty and your pieces didn't fit quite right, despite how hard i tried.. because i did try, oh how i tried. i just wish i hadn't poisoned the medicine maker.

27

we live in a box with endless walls and tiny windows unseen beings lurking in the creeks of despair and desperation whilst barrows of bodies whisked away and turned to ash that soils the otherwise spotless home you've made within the cell... ular confines of existence

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Jan 28, 2018

Jan 28, 2018 at 7:22 AM UTC

ramennoodles890

box

we live in a box with endless walls and tiny windows unseen beings lurking in the creeks of despair and desperation whilst barrows of bodies whisked away and turned to ash that soils the otherwise spotless home you've made within the cell... ular confines of existence

11

I thought I knew what lonely was until a movement I couldn't take part in came along. I was used to being on my own, but when surrounded by the voices of people speaking out against the atrocities they've faced at the hands of others I was filled with a need to join them- Until I realized I couldn't. For the resulting commotion that would fill my life if I did would not equate the relief I may or may not feel by telling all. The demons in my life wouldn't be prosecuted by my voice, despite the promises some naive like to make. To stay silent is to stay protected, even if it is at the cost of one's own sanity. For I reside in the middle. In the place where things aren't so bad that I need saving nor the place where things are so safe that I can speak without fear. My voice wouldn't cause a worldwide commotion, nor would it cause arms of those dear to me to envelop me in embraces of comfort and support. It would cause mass pandemonium in my world while changing nothing in the world. So lonely has been redefined to mean utter panic in the midst of temptation.

0

Jan 23, 2018

Jan 23, 2018 at 8:49 AM UTC

ramennoodles890

"Me too"

I thought I knew what lonely was until a movement I couldn't take part in came along. I was used to being on my own, but when surrounded by the voices of people speaking out against the atrocities they've faced at the hands of others I was filled with a need to join them- Until I realized I couldn't. For the resulting commotion that would fill my life if I did would not equate the relief I may or may not feel by telling all. The demons in my life wouldn't be prosecuted by my voice, despite the promises some naive like to make. To stay silent is to stay protected, even if it is at the cost of one's own sanity. For I reside in the middle. In the place where things aren't so bad that I need saving nor the place where things are so safe that I can speak without fear. My voice wouldn't cause a worldwide commotion, nor would it cause arms of those dear to me to envelop me in embraces of comfort and support. It would cause mass pandemonium in my world while changing nothing in the world. So lonely has been redefined to mean utter panic in the midst of temptation.

9

Technology makes it so easy to be intimate despite having voids of separation between souls, Taking tiny screens and filling them with the image of joy, Talking at it for hours on end, Burning the night away into bliss, and yet...

0

Jan 23, 2018

Jan 23, 2018 at 8:36 AM UTC

ramennoodles890

revise the moments //

Technology makes it so easy to be intimate despite having voids of separation between souls, Taking tiny screens and filling them with the image of joy, Talking at it for hours on end, Burning the night away into bliss, and yet...

5

I can't stop crying Some people can't even start I ponder on which is worse while choking back tears

0

Oct 30, 2017

Oct 30, 2017 at 9:09 AM UTC

ramennoodles890

stutter

I can't stop crying Some people can't even start I ponder on which is worse while choking back tears

3

I messed up Sorely and irreversibly Stealing moments I can't return Regretting them near Instantaneously

0

Oct 29, 2017

Oct 29, 2017 at 7:18 PM UTC

ramennoodles890

nights

I messed up Sorely and irreversibly Stealing moments I can't return Regretting them near Instantaneously

5

You say if I'm actively suicidal you'll have to commit me, so can I please verify whether this is a passive or active feeling? You don't seem to understand that I am passively active at all times, that suicide is not something you have to die to commit. You don't grasp that I am both fine and alive while being broken and empty, all at the same time. You don't see that I can comprehend that something is wrong with my mind for the way it whispers to me of deaths inviting embrace, that I know this isn't normal, but oh, oh do I wish it was. You ask me to rate my feelings on a scale of 1-5, quantifying my mind's nuances before I have a chance to explain that I don't even know myself half the time. Do your best, you say. My best ran out when I stepped over the threshold, next time I'll know not to waste it on a visit to you.

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Oct 1, 2017

Oct 1, 2017 at 10:14 PM UTC

ramennoodles890

An Ode To My Therapist

You say if I'm actively suicidal you'll have to commit me, so can I please verify whether this is a passive or active feeling? You don't seem to understand that I am passively active at all times, that suicide is not something you have to die to commit. You don't grasp that I am both fine and alive while being broken and empty, all at the same time. You don't see that I can comprehend that something is wrong with my mind for the way it whispers to me of deaths inviting embrace, that I know this isn't normal, but oh, oh do I wish it was. You ask me to rate my feelings on a scale of 1-5, quantifying my mind's nuances before I have a chance to explain that I don't even know myself half the time. Do your best, you say. My best ran out when I stepped over the threshold, next time I'll know not to waste it on a visit to you.

7

ride out into empty highways, headlights off, windows down let the eternity contained in the heavens guide your way- trace the footsteps of millennia paint your life outside the lines, let chasms overfill with your blood before you give in

0

Aug 23, 2017

Aug 23, 2017 at 9:21 PM UTC

ramennoodles890

Let's **** **** Up

ride out into empty highways, headlights off, windows down let the eternity contained in the heavens guide your way- trace the footsteps of millennia paint your life outside the lines, let chasms overfill with your blood before you give in

8

If I tell you where my unkempt sneakers have been will you still stay the night and caress my skin? If I tell you what my wide brown eyes have seen will you still want to learn about what resides between?

0

Jul 28, 2017

Jul 28, 2017 at 1:39 PM UTC

ramennoodles890

If I tell you (Pt. 1)

If I tell you where my unkempt sneakers have been will you still stay the night and caress my skin? If I tell you what my wide brown eyes have seen will you still want to learn about what resides between?

4