Awkward ,
I don't know what to say to you ,
forcefully concealed anger has rendered me speechless .
Mentally constructed essays of hurt , disappointment and pain, speeches I'll never say .
We all know who's to blame ,
but we walk on eggshells, remembering what's right to say.
Tension plagues our home ,
it's the weight of unassigned blame ,
hanging in the air ,
no one brave enough to drop it on its rightful heir.
Dec 1, 2017
Dec 1, 2017 at 4:35 AM UTC
Here's a little secret,
The world doesn't know what it wants.
It'll glorify you today and then ridicule you the very next for the exact same thing,
you will never be happy living for the world,
it won't let you, believe me I've tried.
You'll be the poster child for beauty today and then tossed out the next,
school will be the best thing for you today and then the worst tomorrow,
corporate is powerful,
the cornerstone of success today,
tomorrow it's boring and you're pegged a mindless robot.
So stop looking to the world,
It's a mess.
Nov 22, 2017
Nov 22, 2017 at 5:40 PM UTC
Hope, you treacherous thing!
You keep me pining,
waiting,
fighting.
Pieces of me keep disappearing between her cracks,
I'll never get them back,
let me loose before there's nothing left.
Nov 20, 2017
Nov 20, 2017 at 9:19 AM UTC
I mean I never expected loyalty, but wow,
I thought you'd at least stay past morning coffee,
that your words would last in the clarity of day,
that they weren't but the mist of our breaths in the warm hold of your embrace,
that for once I was good enough to make you stay,
anyone,
someone
stay.
Nov 18, 2017
Nov 18, 2017 at 8:48 AM UTC
The Challenge
(Day 18)
What is it you stand to gain?
Playing with hearts like cards, is this a game?
This isn’t poker, this isn’t snooker, why you playing with these hearts as if you’re playing soccer?
This pain my heart can no longer nest
Can’t believe I was a pawn in this game of chess
How did I get caught up in this mess
Believing you were pure good nothing else
Alas you are evil with the “d” I would belittle your cruelty if I called you anything less
Who takes a breastfeeding child from its mother only to dump it in a slum with no one to cater to?
Who cuts open a stitched laceration only to watch it rot so a limb gets amputated.
When did love become so merciless and unkind?
When has God ever played games with His likeness, their minds?
Why say I do before a crowd of witnesses only to act like you don’t behind closed doors?
Why promise forever when life with you makes a visit from death better?
Why pretend you’re gentle a dove, when you’re a vulture, all claws?
Why wear a robe of integrity when the skin underneath is only known for breaking the law?
What’s the prize?
Why do all these hearts have to pay the price?
Are you ever going to end this cycle
Is this going to be an endless vicious circle?
r3d
#yararewa
#northernstar
#roadtorecovery #everythingipretendtobe #realrawandsimple #welearnasweteach
#writingright
#firesofr3d
Nov 12, 2017
Nov 12, 2017 at 5:31 PM UTC
Assignments, tests, exams,
I spent my days behind a desk.
White shirt, black skirt,
yes, all I do is type and page.
Oh, don't worry,
they're very fond of reminding me what a disappointment I am to humanity,
me who elects to be a well paid slave in someone else's company,
me with no good ideas.
Funny,
I've been down this road before, I've faced this criticism before,
but I was not deterred, not me,
I'll work hard and I'll be successful, that'll show them.
They told me I was destined for great things as they handed out trophies of merit on that stage,
I believed them,
they lied.
Nov 5, 2017
Nov 5, 2017 at 5:55 PM UTC
Bitterness hugs my heart,
jealousy tugs at me,
constantly working hard but no big breaks for me.
Giving it my all to no avail, how come?
How do bad girls with good hair surpass me when all I'm doing is what's right?
I'm trying so hard to break free but despair keeps welling up inside me, giving up would be so easy but even that is not an option for me.
Why do others get dealt the winning hand from birth?
Is struggle suppose to be synonymous to me?
Hard work is not all its cracked out to be,
unfortunately that's my reality.
Oct 24, 2017
Oct 24, 2017 at 3:58 PM UTC
I had a moment with a three year old today,
I was putting him to bed, he was wailing and fighting,
he didn't want to leave his cousin and his games.
I had a moment where I looked straight into his eyes and reassured him that everything is going to be okay,
I looked into his eyes and he stopped crying,
I realized something in that moment, he trusts me.
I don't think I have ever felt anything more fulfilling,
I had a moment with a three year old today.
Oct 15, 2017
Oct 15, 2017 at 7:50 PM UTC
Every time my eyes rest on him I sigh a little and smile,
wow he's beautiful.
I stare for as long as I can before he turns or looks aside then I must look away ,
he can never know.
Tall, with a smile that makes my day, that confident strut and almost brooding look that affects me a little too much, he gets to me.
In my head I create encounters that will never occur, I imagine us as so much more, I hope I exist in your world too.
Sep 28, 2017
Sep 28, 2017 at 2:26 PM UTC
Ever been lonely in a crowd or within a group of friends?
well I have and I can tell you exactly how it feels.
It feels like grasping on straws, like forced conversations.
It feels like waiting for an opening every two minutes to get a joke in so everyone can laugh and maybe then they won't notice that you don't get their inside jokes,that you don't fit.
It feels like sadness, all the time, from the moment you get there to the minute you leave,
like wanting to cry all day, yeah I mean all day, including during the jokes, the laughter, the games, all of it.
It feels like wanting to walk away but having to stay because by God I won't be that pathetic girl sitting alone during breaks,I won't.
It feels like constantly defending your views,
like ultimatums,
like conditions.
It feels like talking all day but crying yourself to sleep at night because you have no one to talk to.
Sep 18, 2017
Sep 18, 2017 at 2:33 PM UTC