Babylonsister42
20/Cisgender Female/Upstate New York
Hi, I just started poetry and if I get in, I'll probably be sharing some sensitive stuff, so be gentle in regards to the content please :,) As far as structure and vocabulary go though, be honest, I wont be offended. I want to write good poetry.
When did this phrase go from being
A profession of devotion and affection
To naming the curse that binds my soul?
Jul 1, 2019
Jul 1, 2019 at 11:48 PM UTC
Thoughs whirl.
They writhe and rest,
float and sink,
shout and whisper,
coalesce
and
dissolve.
The constant and deafening cacophony of thought,
deep and wide and long,
stretches to the horizon and beyond,
Seemingly endless.
I shudder at the thought of thought sometimes,
memories meeting ideas,
but I'm deafened by the constant white noise
of its gently frothing waves.
It's beyond me, as they should be.
This ocean is serene
and the parts indiscernible from the whole.
I can sit at the shore safely if I dont wade in.
I may simply view
whatever might float to the surface.
They lap at the edges of my consciousness,
Tingle against the anterior of my skull,
But,
Thankfully,
Remain incomprehensible in their awful entirety.
It is only when my ocean
of memories and ideas organize that I need be afraid,
for I can comprehend a patern.
It is only when the gentle lapping becomes a treacherous bombora,
crashing against white cliffs,
That I am struck with their crippling ripples of anxiety,
because I begin to understand their enormity.
When
thoughts
writhe,
float,
shout
and coalesce,
They slam into me,
Eroding my delicate posture.
I am
unzipped,
unbuttoned,
unlaced,
in ribbons strewn across the bed.
I become undone,
at my own mercy.
Another one makes it's way yo the surface.
Perhaps this will be a calming memory?
No,
it's my own
grasping
hand.
I grab my ankles as I flee
the oncoming tide,
and drag myself into the depths.
I sink,
clutching myself,
struggling
to escape myself.
I can feel myself begin to weaken and descend,
my cries muffled and my flesh diffusing in my own malefactory clutches as I gnaw at my spine visciously.
I pity me as I mercilessly tear into myself at my own digression.
Battering myself into submission
and eating away at my delicate chassis;
I leave a pitiful puddle to sink into my sheets.
Jun 5, 2019
Jun 5, 2019 at 8:20 AM UTC
Every time I open my eyes
You break my trust
Again.
I have a hard enough time
Convincing myself
It's worth getting up in the morning
Without your quiet betrayals.
Even when you are good
I can never know.
I'm so overwhelmed with anxiety
And you've taken advantage of me
So many times
It doesn't make a difference.
I find myself wondering
If I will ever trust you again.
But I know
Of course I will.
I always do.
That doesn't mean I should.
.
.
.
Did you betray me this morning?
The answer at this point is
You may as well have
And you will
Every morning
Hereafter.
Jun 5, 2019
Jun 5, 2019 at 7:44 AM UTC
Laying in bed, staring at the ceiling,
Memories coalesce and slip away.
A rhythm forms,
A beat,
By which ideas organize themselves.
Circituous in nature,
Thoughts orbit in the mind,
Circling tighter and tighter,
Constricting,
Until,
May 2, 2019
May 2, 2019 at 6:28 AM UTC
This violent duality
Is physically docile
Yet
There is blood
On the screen
On the sheets
Obscuring vision
Who
Did this?
You're drenched in crimson
It drips
In sickly strands
From the tips
Of guilty fingers
You plead innocence
And choke on it
Cornered
Seeking the path of least resistance
An admission is made
And
Brackish streams
Adjure forgiveness
Cornered
Seeking the path of least resistance
An exception is made
And
These hands
Are red too
Apr 22, 2019
Apr 22, 2019 at 11:28 AM UTC
Burning pillows
Stifling sheets
Imprisoned here
I lie
Mind percolating
Past events
Shame and doubt
Bubble
To the surface
Shifting and turning
But there are
No sheep
To count
Apr 22, 2019
Apr 22, 2019 at 11:04 AM UTC
S breath
H grip
A breathe!
slip
T waver
Drop hide
T bend
P O U N D twist shiver
Fall E writhe
spin spin spin need
trapped R Cut
Apr 20, 2019
Apr 20, 2019 at 11:15 PM UTC
I hate him
I hate him!
I LOVE HIM SO MUCH
I want to kick him in the head
Kick
kick
Kick
Kick him
HARD
PUNCH him
Make love
Break his phone
Break his heart
Kiss him
Hug him
Hold him
Love him
My chest burns
My eyes sting
hide
SCREAM
Pull hair
Weep
Sob
Kiss
Turn over . . . forget
.
.
.
it LINGERS
it pokes
It prods
I twist and turn
What do I do? I search
Of course.
Hes niche.
this is WRONG
It's not FAIR
What do I do with this?
What do I do?
I love him!
I HATE him
Am I a fool?
Should I go now? Cut ties and
losses
again
AGAIN
Forgive
let live
CrumpleKILL END DIE
SleepNeverwake!Neversleep
I dont WANT THIS do i
I need him
What
.
Apr 10, 2019
Apr 10, 2019 at 6:17 PM UTC